@)*(#*$!!!!

that's what the birdies what we was watchin' on sunday are sayin' today!!

meower monday

those witty puddies at simply siamese is having a "spring is sprung" contest--it ends today, monday!! get yer entry in NOW, as per directions inna linkie to their name. our entry's below.

(an' don't furgit to send us yer "kitties' rights" entry--due wednesday of this week!)

spring's not sprung,
the grass ain't riz,
but we know where
the robins is!

they's in our yard
a-hippity-hoppin',
lookin' for bugs an'
werms wifout stoppin'.

outside our window
they flutter an' cheep--
an' tic us off,
'cause they're outta reach!

KITTY RIGHTS

IMPORTANT NOTE: in view of the current contretemps between zoey an’ maggy an’ the zoolatry beans (an’ the many ofur indignities an’ cruelties that has been visited upon us kitties in the past), we finks there should be a KITTY BILL OF RIGHTS or a KITTY CATSTITUTION to spell this out once an’ fur all. if you sends us your suggestions, we will moosh them into one document an’ publish them. deadline is wednesday, 5 march, an’ we will try to haf them publishable on feline friday of that week if our secretary doesn’t get ofurwhelmed an’ require sedation. if you does send somefing in, you agrees that we has the right to edit it for clarity an’ brevity. c’mon, gals ‘n’ guys–we are NOT second-class citizens–we are FIRST CLASS CATIZENS!!!

(signed)
Nelson John LaPurr
Sir Edmund Percival Hillary
Nitro S Pierce
Xing-Lu (XingXing) Pierce

long-term purrs an' purrrayers please?

mom doesn't like to bofur us kitties wif scary stuff, but she finally told us that our bean auntie, ethel (who is certainly a cat lover), has a bad thing called inflammatory breast cancer. we don't think auntie would mind our quoting her last email to the extended fambly, 'cause she knows the power of purrs an' purrrayers an' will be glad of ours. we would like to ask all you kitties an' your beans to p & p 'cause her newest round of testing has showed that "it" is gainin' on her a little. here's her last statement in that email:

"Even though the aggressiveness of IBC can be frightening at times (six years next month I went to Pastor Brown to plan for my funeral as the Dr led me to believe I wasn't long for this world), I am not discouraged. Your prayers to our Heavenly Father on my behalf are deeply appreciated and your love and support keep me going! "

so it's pretty obvious to us kitties that we need to add our purrs, an' keep her in this world a little longer. we is pretty peevish that mom din't get us started on this sooner--we coulda maybe had her WELL already!! will you help?

ed's valentine to midnight

Midnight, you are the fairest of the fair--

Today, I declare my love all ofur again!!
Always, your Edmund

mexican mancat monday!!

if you biggify the picture, you can see that HE has lazer eyes, too!

this was a cool an' shady spot for a furriendly kitty!

sunday travelogue

here are some things that mom 'n' dad saw on their trip:
the beans there sure use lotsa fevvers! we coulda had a ball!!

they din't 'dopt none of these fevver factories, darn!

you are sure a strange kitty; let me smell your nose . . .

whap me, an' i'll bite your toezes!!

here, lizzerd, lizzerd, lizzerd!!!!

we gots an award!

thank you, st. louis meezers, for giffing us the excellent blogger award! we appreciates your kindness--you guys are MOST EXCELLENT!!

mom & dad have PVB

(that's "post-vacation blues". but they are home safe! thanks to all the kitties who teleported ofur an' kept us company. we are sorry it wasn't any warmer inna house than it was, but nap piles sure helped!! "aunt" debbie was furry confused when she was here 'cause she kep' seein' ofur kitties outta the corner of her eye . . . she din't know 'bout teleportin', an' mom forgot to tell her. so now she thinks we're in a haunted house, an' maybe won't kitty-sit for us no more! it is already haunted by miss annie, who lived here before us, an' aunt deb was just gettin' useta HER! )

mom & dad have PVB

(that's "post-vacation blues". but they are home safe! thanks to all the kitties who teleported ofur an' kept us company. we are sorry it wasn't any warmer inna house than it was, but nap piles sure helped!! "aunt" debbie was furry confused when she was here 'cause she kep' seein' ofur kitties outta the corner of her eye . . . she din't know 'bout teleportin', an' mom forgot to tell her. so now she thinks we're in a haunted house, an' maybe won't kitty-sit for us no more! )

mystery solved . . .

yup, you kitties who said it would be warm an' sunny where the canned coons are got it right!! it is the place called cancun; we were sure they were sayin' somethin' else. dad's day-hunting place is sending him there for a big meeting, an' mom gets to go along. this is nice, acause they hafen't efur been somewhere on vacation that they weren't visiting relatives in all the 31 years they haf been married!! we will miss them drefful, though. not to mention that we won't be able to blog or visit youse guys until the end of next week. *sigh* don't go anywhere wifout us!! we doesn't allus leave comments, but we cruise lotsa bloggies during the week, an' we will miss you.

we guesses we feels better about their trip now that we know nobean is stuffin' aminals in cans, but we has made mom & dad swear a BIG swear that if they find any goodies there that we would like, they hafta bring some back! we oughta get SOMETHIN' besides a dopey T-shirt outta the deal. we're gonna be furry lonesome, so anykitty who feels like it can teleport ofur. we got LOTSA nip, an' since the dawgs will be gone, all our toys will be out to play wif!!

the worstest thing about this is that no one will be here to make the wood stove warm, an' it's gonna be furry cold, wif snow starting later tonight, an' maybe as much as 10" (that's taller than nitro, who is tallest of us) will fall. we has what is called a "fur-niss", but it sure doesn't keep us as warm as if it were real FUR. so maybe even nels an' miss prissy princess xing will hafta cuddle!

the snows will only last through tomorrow, an' they don't get onna airplane until early saturday, so we're pretty sure they will get to leave. we sure hope they do; mom's head is gonna asplode if they don't get to go!! if you see a new post on our bloggie on saturday, you prolly shouldn't read it--it's bound to be her bein' all whiny an' stuff, an' you might learn some new words your fambly won't let you say. . . .

wondering on wednesday . . .

we are cornfused. mom an' dad are rushin' around makin' lists, pullin' stuff outta closets, an' talkin' to aunt debbie who lives two houses away. she's the one who comes to visit us an' feed us an' scoop our potties when mom an' dad go on a trip, so obviously, they're leavin'. they've even made hotel reservations for the damndog, but not xena, who will go to gramma pierce's house. we fink that's 'cause all she does is eat, sleep, an' go out to potty, an' gramma can handle that but not cocoa's liveliness. we're not all that worried, acause they allus come back.

but why would beans wanna go somewhere that they put raccoons in cans? that doesn't sound nice at all. does anycat have a clue??

tabbie toezies two-fer!

i loves my massive, marvelous toezies an' couldn't decide which picture to post--so here they are, all both of 'em!! i finks of the one above as "topsy-turvey toezies", 'cause i was layin' downhill on mom when she took this picture, an' the one below is the "magic toezie touch" that she loves SO much (especially when i let her clip my claws first)!!

a mancat's gotta protect what's HIS!

as you can see, i am pretty fond of my nip. sometimes, like last night, mom lets me have my favorite bag of "kitty can't cope catnip" all to myself an' stands guard to make sure the ofurs don't rob me of it.i've enjoyed this bag so long, i've managed to tear open the stitching at the top so that little sprinkles of the delicious herb decorate the nearby landscape! i enjoy them after she's put the bag away for another day. we can't leave them around, because damndog chews on them. this one has been slobbered by her plenty, but somehow, it doesn't seem to have an effect on the quality of nip, which i must say is PRIMO!!
edmund eyeballs the scene covetously, but i can hear him looking! he's NOT getting any of my nip!now nitro gets into the act, making the mistake of starting to reach ofur me. what happened next was not pretty, and i will dispense with photo documentation out of respect for the gentlelady cats & kittens.

suffice it to say, this nip is mine an' it's stayin' that way!!!
i may be a geezer, but i'm a MANCAT geezer!

tabby tummy toesie tuesday

my big brofur nels was praising our wood stove last week. well, i must say i enjoy it too! here i am, toasting my undercarriage as the cold winds blow outside. mom sez if i am not careful, some of my belly fats will melt in the heat an' turn liquidy, an' then i'll slosh when i walk! so far, howefur, so good.

thank you!!!

furrst, thank you g*d that mao AND annie are home!!we are furry proud to be the owners of this lovely award, given to us by the lovely miss pyewacket, of topcatrules. it's for hafing a bloggie that brings happiness an' inspiration an' makes you glad to be in blogland. we love to make folks laugh--so now we knows we is doin' our jobs! our mom sez that if she an' dad were king an' queen, they'd be the only ones inna world wif FOUR court jesters!! ;-) THANKS, MISS PYEWACKET!!

an' we are ALSO furry proud to have received the "thinking blogger" award from our buddies at the cat realm. WOW! we also made somecats think--we hopes they were laffin' an' laffin' while they did it. THANKS, KARL & GANG!

there are rules to go wif this award, an' mom's hustlin' to get to her day-hunting right now, so we gots to stop bloggin'. but we're gonna mull ofurr who to gif it to, an' post our candydates later.

1. You must write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think (no fish or bird blogs, they'll just make you hungry)
2. Acknowledge this post
3. Optional Proudly display the Thinking Blogger Award with a link to the post that you wrote.
4. Go tell your humans to fork over the treats!

peeyes: does anycat know how to center the awards in the sidebar?

Maobert!! Annie!!

ANNIE!! PLEASE COME HOME!!!!
efurryone is missing you dreffully!!
there will be extra treats an' hugs an' pettin'
when you get home!!
WE PURR AN' PURRRAY WIF ALL THE
DENIZENS OF THE CASTLE THAT
YOU WILL ARRIVE HOME QUICKLY
AN' SAFELY!!

G*D IS GOOD!! - MAO IS HOME!! 1-13-08

weird wednesday

you know, i read ofur on skeezy's bloggie that mao & rocky had a catsmas meerikul. that is furry nice, an' i hope it continues. but what do you call it when the meerikul comes 18 days after catsmas? here is a picture of me, ed, AND nitro all lying on mom to keep her warm. ed got aboard first, an' then i climbed up, an' finally nitro took the back seat. we stayed there a lonnnnnnng time. maybe it's not a meerikul; maybe i'm just getting better at ignoring those stinky boycats. --xingxing

tornado tuesday followup pictures

(see post below to find out what this refers to, if you din't see it before)
nels an' nitro "duck an' cover" under great-gramma's chairs

ed makes like a nostrich inna corner.
we dunno where xingxing was; she had her own little burrow!

mom said she thought that maybe a vehicle slid off the road
during the storm an' tilted it . . .
uhhhhh, mom? there's no tracks inna dirts around it!!

tornado tuesday

well, some of you may haf seen onna talking picture box that the southwest corner of missouri, where we lives, gots pounded wif tornadoes last night. yup. one storm after anofur came roaring through about efurry 45 minutes until we losted count (mom: i think there were six before it was all done, and maybe one more around 3 am, when the sirens started up again), but thank bast, we is still here. our block don't seem to haf got much damage from the winds that yowled all night (along wif those turrible noisy sirens), but we dunno much more than we can see out the windows right now. our talking picture box is blank this morning an' power is iffy--we is hopin' to get this posted before it goes "poof" again.

mom & dad herded us all into one tiny room inna middle of the house last night around 6:30--even though we clung like limpets to the hiding places we had already selected around the house!!--an' we hadda stay there ALL NIGHT!!! alla us, woofies an' kitties!! we hadda share xing's ONE litter box!! now, that's cruel an' unusual punishment, an' we hadn't none of us done nuffin' wrong!! they SAID it was for our protection, but it seemed pretty odd to us. we was scared, an' we din't know why!

it's pretty calm outside now, an' we fink the sun might show her face a little later . . . mom's gotta get to the day-hunting place now, an' see if the building is still there. we hope not--then she could come back an' cuddle us for a LONG while! she's muttering something about who do we think buys the food an' litter. . . well, daddy does, don't he? his day-hunting place is fine!
(note: mom called an' said hers is ok.)

anyway, we's all here togefur, an' that's what counts!!

mancat monday

it was been furry cold here early last week (down to 7 degrees one morning), so i have been alternating between my spiffy new blue cube hide-out an' close up to the stove. here is a picture mom took as i warmed my ol' bones by backing up under the firebox. very theraputic!!

you can see lotsa crud on the floor all around the stove; mom and dad love wood heat, but say it sure is messy. we meowers all love it too, because it keeps us nice an' toasty, and because so many interesting smells come in with the wood. mouses an' other cats an' bugs all leave their stories behind as they climb on the woodpile, an' we read those stories with our noses. gives us lots to dream about as we fall under the spell of The Warm!

***oh, yes--HAPPY PURRTHDAY, GRAMPA!! our chicago grampa is 94 human years old tolday! i just can't even begin to calculate how many naps that must be--an' he's like us--he takes a lot of 'em!!***

happy 2008!!

us meowers wish all our furriends
the furry happiest, healthiest new year
full of adventures we can share togefur!!

a formerly feral's festivities

you furriends know that i don't post very much here, 'cause mostly i'm asleep, as a geezer cat should be. but i wanted to share my quiet catsmas with you, so you can see it's not only a holiday for the young and loud.

although the tabletop our catsmas tree sits on is not a primo nap size, i did manage some sitting-up, slit-eyed naps there while i guarded it from the brown dog and nitro, the two most likely to destroy it. they both had pretty good manners this year. maybe mom will try putting up the big tree again next year! (note to self: remind her!!)
as i move on towards extreme geezerhood, sometimes i surprise myself by allowing close contact--not only with the younger meowers (you will notice that i am letting nitro rest his cheek on my very tail!!), but with the humans. i frustrate them constantly by sitting on their laps when they request it, but not ever stretching out like the others do.

here, however, i did accord mom the signal honor of lying along her legs for almost 15 minutes. frankly, i love them dearly, but dad's just too bony and mom's too wiggly for my old bones to settle down on for any length of time. although that hissy young girlcat says mom's lap is pretty cushy; but you have to fold yourself for that, and my hinges don't bend like they used to.

and this is the most favoritest present i can remember ever getting (besides primo nip, which we got plenty of, too)! we got two of them, and i have claimed this one for MY OWN. i am the OLD CAT, and i can have whatever i want. mom said so. i won't get out for any of the other meowers, and gave the blonde dog a noseful of claws when she stuck her head inside and woke me. i feel bad about that; she doesn't ever bother me, and i think she was just wondering what all the fuss was about this new tent. i can see why the meezers and skeezix and all you other kitties have raved on and on about them!

i hope that all you geezers and geezerettes had quietly splendid holidays, and that time will flow softly and sweetly for all of us in the coming year.

your furriend, nelson john lapurr

our wish for you . . .

merry christmas! an' to those of you to whom they apply, happy (belated) ramadan! happy eid! happy (belated) chanukah! blessed solstice! (sorry if we missed any)

elf, slightly amended

daisy the curly cat thought i shoulda smiled for the camera. comments?

nitro the elf . . .

WHOA! whatta you mean, i hasta hunt mouses inna reindeers' barn?! THAT'S not in my contract!! do i hasta grieve this to the toy shop elves' union steward?

night 'n' day

you asked for it, here it is--night 'n' day for our li'l charlie brown tree. even mom calls it that now; if so many kitties think that's what it is, it must be so!!

we're glad mom's posting this today-- tomorrow morning is the "morning after the night before" (beans: remember shelley berman?), that is to say, after her company's holiday party. an' there's no tellin' what time she'd get it posted on friday>;-D))

wordless wednesday

we finished trimming the tree

(well, snoopervising from the window, that is.) we got her to hang more sparklies onna li'l tree. if you biggify it, you can even see that the lights are on. it was just startin' to snow when she took the picture. she's peevish acause we din't get the 5"-10" of snow the man inna talking box promised.

when we mentioned that the tree looked like the one we saw onna talking box wif her about the boy named charlie brown . . . well, "peevish" don't beginta cover it! so we are bein' extra careful about who we hiss at an' are refrainin' from smackin' the brown dawg for a couple of days, an' snugglin' extra so she forgets that we insalted her tree.

PG-13 WARNING

we just kinda gots "into a mood" the ofur night an' this song came spillin' out. it's sorta "nightmare before catsmas" meets "up onna housetop". you maybe wanna read it yourselfs before lettin' the younger kits read the first part onna counta it's kinda scary! but it does teach that being prepared is a good thing!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Up onna housetop, the reindeers pause,
Scratchin’ an’ scrabblin’ wif vishus claws,
Hunting the tender yung joosy cats,
Red-eyed an' wearin' their santa hats.

CHORUS: Oh, no, no! We wouldn't go,
    Oh, no, no! Not wif reindeers, no!
    Up onna housetop oh so slick,
    We ain't gonna fall for no reindeer trick!

Out hops the fat man and down he goes,
Laden wif toys an’ treats an’ bows,
But the reindeers are plotting something mean:
They’ve got visions of cats dressed as cuisine!

They leap for the chimbly and try to dive
Down to the front room where kitties hide,
Snortin’ an’ stampin’ ‘cause they won’t fit--
Antlers too big--so they hafta quit.

Jumpin’ off the roof, they land on their toes
An’ they tippy-tippy-tippy to a window that glows
Wif the light of the catsmas tree so gay
An’ a glimpse of some sweet li’l cats at play.

Now they tippy-tippy-tippy to the tinseled door
An’ let themselves in, tippy-tippy some more,
Sneakin’ down the hall—just a little clatter—
But the sharp-eared kitties begin to scatter!

Now Santa has flown up the chimbly tall--
He sees no sleigh an’ is just appalled.
The reindeer advance on the kitties small. . .
Oh, noes! It could be the end of ‘em all!

But these kitties are smart, they’re all prepared
(If the deers had known, they’da nefur dared).
Behind all the chairs an’ the sofa wide
The cats just bide their time and hide.

The reindeer come snoopin’ to see what’s what,
An’ the kitties let loose wif some powerful stuff!
The deers make a beeline right out the door--
Soaked with Mao & Rocky’s VDR!

The reindeers fly off wif no backward look
An’ the fat man his mittened fist he shook.
He slides off the roof and looks mighty glum
Then walks to the street an’ sticks out his thumb.

The kitties cry out, “Oh Santa, noes!
“C’mon back in an’ thaw your toes.
“We’ll share our temptations an’ milk wif you,
“We’re good little kitties, you know that’s true.”

So the fat man sits down an’ enjoys a treat
An’ skritches each kitty tumblin’ ofur his feet.
He is warm and so happy he got to stay,
But now it is time to be on his way.

He calls Mrs. Claus for the backup sleigh
(Not pulled by deers but by horsies grey).
As he mounts to the sky, all the kitties hear,
“Happy Catsmas to All—and no deer next year!!!"

it's finally catsmas time! (almost)

mom finished the decorating last night! nelson snoopervised (nappervised, we mean) the hanging of the stockings that mom knitted about a million-billion naps ago (almost 30 years!!!).here's our catsmas tree, which isn't as much fun as the big one we can climb, but at least there are some ornaments on it this year, an' our very own catsmas stockings are hung behind it!this nutcracker is one that mom & dad gave to grampa in chicago along time ago. he had a display of about 20 nutcrackers that he called "the croatian army" (he's croatian). now he's in a nursing home an' can't haf stuff like that ennymore acause some of the more confused residents would help 'em get mislaid. they've heisted his glasses twice, his clothes disappear from his closet, etc etc--he's even found someone else in his bed a time or two, not that (at 94) he would care in any meaningful way--so we reinherited this guy.here is mom's nativity set that great-gramma an' granpa an' the aunties gave her when she was a kid. it was made in italy, an' is out for the first time since ed came to live wif us--he had an unhealthy interest in it . . . now we has this nice glass case it can live in. mom hopes you likes the flash/christmas star. she worked hard to get it centered just right!an' this is mom's saint nicholas that her gramma gave her on st nicholas day (6 december) when she was six. it had chocolates inside it then, now it has temptayshuns. ALSO behind glass, drats. (an' yes, mom admits she's a lousy housekeeper, as evidenced by the smeary mirror. she sez, "deal with it!")

naughty? or nice?

wanna guess which one i am?

C’MON, EFFURYCAT—LET’S SING!

YOU KNOW THE TOON, NOW HERE’S THE WORDS:
(click to biggify)

There, now . . . wasn’t that fun? An’ your beans will LOVE hearing it yodeled at the top of your lungs efurry 3 ayem inna morning from now until catsmas! Honest!!

***Dragonheart pointed out that he (an' ofurr sphynxies) wouldn't be hurlin' any hairballs. He sez therefore he'll be singin', "some eye goop on my favourite tee!"*** ::giggle::