mom tells us a story.

earlier this week, we visited the lovely miss attie cattie at her blog, an' were impressed by her ability to use the bean litter box!! it made mom remember a story that she then told us:

once upon a time, long, long ago, in a galax . . . oh, wait. that's a different story. here's the real one: many years ago, our aunt spot tried to learn that skill--mom got her a clear plastic insert that fit under the toilet seat. the idea was that the beans would put some litters on it to convince her it was a potty box, an' she would balance onna seat an' do her business ofur it.

well, they were furry excited acause onna first day, dad found a poopie innit. this went on fur several days, but they couldn't catch her at it (she was a shy, well-bred ladycat, too). after about a week, mom finally got a peep through the hinge edge of the door--an' there was spotty, standin' carefully ON the plastic liner, doin' her business. she only weighed six pounds an' that wasn't enuf to make the liner collapse.

mom was disappointed, but thought, "well, she knows what she's supposed to do now, so we can probably take the liner out. when she notices that the liner is gone, she'll have to stand on the seat."

oh, dear. wrong. so totally wrong. wet cat. peevish cat. captured at arms-length cat. sudsy cat. still MORE peevish (bordering on completely hissed off) cat. scratched-up mom. sulking cat. apologies. cold shoulders. pee on chair. cursing. etc. etc. etc.

no further attempts at this type of training. efur. we are furry glad.

igmu speaks . . .

ummmm . . . i . . . what . . . sleep . . . rotten . . . head . . . need . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . uggggggggg . . . leave . . . *thunk*

pleese think of iggy today!

it's time fur his hoo-hah-ectomy, an' he was not furry happy this mornin' when mom bundled him into the PTU wifout his breffus. i hates t'tell him, but things ain't gonna get no better today! mom will update us as the day goes on. we'll be purrin' fur him, li'l monster-child that he is, an' we hopes you will, too.

wordless wednesday

(biggify for the full effect)

uhhhhh, nitro?

yer halo's slippin'!! musta been you what busted that glass

on mom's curio cabinet . . .

WHO DID THIS??!!??

well, that is what My Mama wants to know, an' it's for sure it's not ME! this happened last night when i was safe asleep in my cozy bed in my very own suite.

this cabinet is in a little corner of our living room, where the dbd can't fit. so guess who that leaves? of course; those rotten boycats, my brofurs. i heard 'em riotin' an' fussin' all last night. My Mama is not furry upset, though, acause now it makes a matching pair wif the ofur one just like it onna ofur side of the noisy picture box. the dbd broke the same glass outta that one wif her Lead Pipe Tail of Deth.

iggy has been just cuckoo lately, an' i thinks it's acause My Mama an' Daddy has been talkin' about a trip to the vettie fur him. somethin' about his hoo-hahs. he's actin' like the end of the world is comin'. fooey; i've been to the vettie an' came home fine, although they were mean to me an' i had a monsterus headache fur a whole day afters. he's a cowardy-custard.

oh, an' My Mama sez i can brag a little: i was sittin' on her lap this mornin' an' My Daddy brought out the rug sucker monster to clean up alla the busted glass. as soon as he got out to the livin' room, before he even made it start hollerin', alla the boycats ran outta the room. i stayed on My Mama's lap the whole time, even when he pushed the sucker unner our chair! My Mama said i am the bravest cat inna house! not the bravest xing-cat, or the bravest girlcat, but the bravest CAT. HAH! take that, you brofurs.

Made it, Ma! Top of the world! (Yeah, I noticed. You got there up over my head, remember?
And I know you're scopin' out the dish of ravioli on my lap.
Fugeddaboudit!)

did you hear that?

we all know that kitties sees an' hears stuff that beans don't. like us--sometimes we kin see the cats-who-came before acause they had so much fun in our house that they likes to visit from the bridge to see what's goin' on or make sure efurrythin's ship-shape. we even plays THoE wif 'em.
an' sometimes we kin see the beans that used to be (even miss debbie next door has done that while cat-sittin' us).

but xing is makin' mom wig out--she's watchin' solid walls. an' pictures. an' the woodstove. an' the ceiling. you know, places where a bean or a kitty would nefur be. it's like she's waitin' fur something else to pop out, an' mom's worriet what it might be! xing's not tellin', an' akshully, we're not sure she knows either. she's a such big feather-brain an' more'n a little spacey, so it wouldn't surprise us to find out she's hearing paint talk to her!

wordless wednesday

bloggin' is hard work!!

nitro takes over dictation duties while iggy "takes 10".
or plots his next raid on mom's breakfast.
or maybe both.

nitro: ok, mom, read that back to me from the top, wouldja?

mom: "it was a dark and stormy night . . ."
nitro: hey! i din't say that!!
mom: why not?
nitro: because it isn't night, an' it's not stormy.
mom: yeah, that's right -- you'd be under the recliner if it were stormy.
nitro: hey! i has sensitive ears!!! no fair makin' fun!!
mom: my ears are sensitive, too, but you assault them starting at 4:30 every morning.
nitro: what?? i'm not saltin' anything. i'm singin'! that's my best breakfast invitation!
mom: oh, forget it . . . i only have just so much time to help you boys blog before i go day hunting, and you've pretty much fiddled it all away this morning, blathering on about stuff that's totally off topic. ::leaves::
nitro: well, rats.
iggy: where? where? you know where izzit a rat? ::scampers::
nitro: wait for me!!!! ::papers scatter::

the sky is falling!

the sky is fallin', we tells ya!!! fat ed crawled up on mom's lap an' collapsed onto xing's backside an' she nefur even bothered to look up to see who or what was there. so ed just napped away for about half an hour, an' right after this photo, so did mom. she din't sleep easy, though; she kept haffin' dreams about nuclear war erupting on her lap.

you kin see that ed's de-fluffifying his hinderquarters. he's been at it fur some time, but we dunno why; mom's started giffen him some stinky goodness along wif his crunchies, an' a little goopy stuff called linatone to help make coats shiny an' thick. we'll see.

MOL - IMMD

mom saw this on the "it made my day" website:

Last time I took my cat to the vet, the vet snorgled his belly on the exam table! IMMD

Submitted by: ornith

it tickled her funnybone so much, she asked to post it here!

pometry

nikita an' his daddy haf made a challenge fur cats an/or beans to write pomes 'bout kitties! you should try it!!! our mom has written pomes 'bout kitties before, an' even had some printed on cloth squares fur beans to emborder an' sew into quilts! so she has helped us make up some haiku. this was even kinda fun, acause we got to see mom cuss an' watch smoke pour out her ears while her thinkin' wheels went 'round. so, here they are:

Lush green sprigs of heaven
Spring skyward, sweetly scented.
Catnip lust abounds!

Moonlight illumines
Dark shapes on deep windowsills.
Jade green eyes glow eerily.

Rippling, limpid, cool,
And fresh. It bubbles sweetly--
My water fountain!

Soft warm velvet pads
Stroke gently, never hinting
At the spring-steel claws.

groundcat's day update

well, xing gave nitro a buncha hissin' an' a few whappity-whap-whaps, but he din't go cryin' like a six month old kitteh, either. so we dunno how to call it! but it's gonna rain an' snow here today (an' monday), so winter's prolly still here for a while.

NOTE: tomorrow is POMETRY day!!

OOPS! 2 days in 1

mom screwed up! she posted "cocoa's squeak toy" (below) at the same time as "be vewwy . . . " (below-er) -- they was sposed to be wednesday's & thursday's posts, but now they're bofe wednesday's posts. we're gonna hafta talk to her about this!!!

inna meantime, you kin enjoy TWO posts in ONE!!

cocoa's squeak toy

as you can see from her squinty right eye, this toy hafs claws an' knows how to use 'em! it usually starts when iggy headbutts the dbd an' she knocks him to the ground. then they rassle around an' she pins him an' he smacky-paws her an' she pokes him amidships wif her solid-brick snoot, an' he . . . well, you gets the idea. an' then he wiggles free an' runs into the leg forest unner the kitchen table where she can't reach him. then five minutes later, it all starts again. we think he akshully LIKES this, fur some strange reason.

(an' we is furry pleased an' asited to announce that
THE RUG SUCKER DIED!!!)
[mom is not quite as asited as we are.]

be vewwy vewwy quiet . . .

i'm hunting sisfurs!!!

(xing wanted to title this "i smell you lookin' at me, you rotten brofur!" but there wasn't enough room on the line)

groundcat day

xingxing waits for the groundcat to emerge from his cave. if she beats the snot outta him when he does, there'll be six more weeks of winter. she may hafta wait a while . . . he's been known to sleep through groundcat's day entirely!

*******
we hadda lotta acitement in fronta our house last night!

mancat inna mancat cave!

wordless wednesday