oh, NOES!!!

**** NOT SUITABLE FOR YUNG OR WEAK-STUMMICKED KITTIES. ****

but you brave kitties who read on, please make sure the yung an' w-s kitties are told about this threat inna way that don't gif 'em too many nightmares!

the vishus deers haf perfected their devious plan of disguising themselfs as our best frend skeezix!! there is a whole herd of them atta secret hide-out in whiskerconsin (look out, victor an' nina)!! if you're inna mood fur a horror movie, you can see them here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/video/flv/generic.html?s=inwi10s22a3q81f

they are gonna infiltrate various areas of the youessay all at once by pretendin' to be skeezix on a national tour to meet ofur bloggin' kitties. an' then when they're all cozy inna room wif some nip juice an' a soft sofa or two, they're gonna spear them poor tender yung joosy kitties an' gobble 'em up!! (at least that's what we think they was sayin' in that video . . . ed was shriekin' the whole time an' we couln't hear it furry well--but what else could it haf been?) we are just SICK wif worry. keep yer ears open an' if you hear that skeezie's comin' to a town near you, raise the alarm!!!

an' skeezie, dear frend, LOOK OUT!!! BE EXTRA VIJILANT!!! you know the f.l. spotted those vishus deer tracks in The Big Forest. we fink they must be closin' in on yer house to keep you unner survailence an' make you stay put so you don't accidentally stumble on one of the fake skeezies an' cause a prollem wif their evil plot.

remember, kitties--if you see anyone who appears to be skeezie, gif his hindquarters a good sniffin' to make sure he's the REAL DEAL! an' if he looks furry, furry tall, maybe it's best to run away wifout sniffin'!

nitro's monday

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. *huh?* *what?* mumble, mumble, errrr, monday? OK. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

mom! she's TOUCHIN' me!!!!

we wonders who got inta the chair furst!!

happy saint paddy's day!

tummy tuesday

today we are posting our "big" sisfur's tummy picture, acause we feels bad that we doesn't allus talk nice about her, an' really, she IS furry nice to us . . . fur a woofie.

igmu learns about water

more meowsic for kittehs!!

here is a furry talented kitteh!! she is an entirely self-taught virtuoso!!

oh, noes!!

we allus thought miss ginger was a NICE lady, but we is re-thinkin' that opinion . . . she is threatenin' to get one of these torcher devices an' make poor getzger use it!!! just because he has a little extra averdupwah. she's discriminatin' against him just acause he has a li'l furchin. why, that's just rank fat-ism.



he'll hafta miss naps an' exert hisself!! we bets she laffs an' sniggers just like the lady who's torcherin' these two poor kitties! there may be a pillow-poopin' in her future!!

not-so-wordless

mom played this fur us last night, an' we wants to share this wif you--to further yer edjamaction inna kitteh fine arts!! this is the true story behint it.

toezie tuesday

we finks mom has posted this befur, but she sez not. anyway, there's nitro's toes!

big stinky!

mom went wif miss ginger to see this flower ofur the weekend--she said it stinks worse than our litterbox right after ed uses it!! the flower's name is amorphophallus titanum, which she translated as "great big deformed thingy", an' is more'n four feets tall. we are glad mom has a "black thumb" so that she will nefur bring one of these home. we can hardly stand ed!

trained cat!

ahahahahahahahaha! "trained" cat! ahahahahahahahaha!

(we're easily amused)

mom is peeved at blogger!!

please read BOTH posts below this one. the vishus deer post (immediately below) is correct fur monday.

howsomefurr, even though she marked the "mouses?" post for posting on tuesday, by golly, it posted last night. so we is sorry to say, there will be no other post on tuesday.

grrrrr.

mouses?

izzit mouses? ratties? paper-moffs?

NO! it's MIGHTY-MOUF--a.k.a. igmu!
dad lef' the noospaper onna kitchen table this morning, an' moo chewed lotsa holes innit. mostly along the folded edge. mom told him that the time for makin' paper snowflakes was past, but he just kept on shreddin'. she hadda flap him wif anofur section to get him to stop. yes, kitty-furriends, our iggy is back to normal.

vishus deer alert!

a new menace has been spotted on the streets of springfield--beware!! they could be in your town, too!!

the vishus deers haf developed tiny little "mini-me" deers!! they are only about the size of a regl'ar kitty, an' we figgers they're usin' 'em fur makin' kitties think that since they're so much smaller than reg'lar deers, the kitties can whip up on 'em. but then they lure the kitties into the bushes, where the really big, REALLY VISHUS deers will skewer 'em!

here is one perched onna hunter's truck, hitchin' a ride to a house where there's unsuspectin' kitties--he smelled 'em onna truck tires, an' figgered he'd just take advantage of the transportation so he wouldn't hafta waste his energy stalkin' 'em.

an' most chillin' of all, he was WAVIN' wif his forelegs at the li'l children inna car behind him! just like he was somethin' small an' cute that they might beg their mamas an' daddies to buy for them 'cause they wanna take 'em home fur a pet!! what if those li'l children had kitties, too???? oh, the HORROR!!

mom tells us a story.

earlier this week, we visited the lovely miss attie cattie at her blog, an' were impressed by her ability to use the bean litter box!! it made mom remember a story that she then told us:

once upon a time, long, long ago, in a galax . . . oh, wait. that's a different story. here's the real one: many years ago, our aunt spot tried to learn that skill--mom got her a clear plastic insert that fit under the toilet seat. the idea was that the beans would put some litters on it to convince her it was a potty box, an' she would balance onna seat an' do her business ofur it.

well, they were furry excited acause onna first day, dad found a poopie innit. this went on fur several days, but they couldn't catch her at it (she was a shy, well-bred ladycat, too). after about a week, mom finally got a peep through the hinge edge of the door--an' there was spotty, standin' carefully ON the plastic liner, doin' her business. she only weighed six pounds an' that wasn't enuf to make the liner collapse.

mom was disappointed, but thought, "well, she knows what she's supposed to do now, so we can probably take the liner out. when she notices that the liner is gone, she'll have to stand on the seat."

oh, dear. wrong. so totally wrong. wet cat. peevish cat. captured at arms-length cat. sudsy cat. still MORE peevish (bordering on completely hissed off) cat. scratched-up mom. sulking cat. apologies. cold shoulders. pee on chair. cursing. etc. etc. etc.

no further attempts at this type of training. efur. we are furry glad.

igmu speaks . . .

ummmm . . . i . . . what . . . sleep . . . rotten . . . head . . . need . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . uggggggggg . . . leave . . . *thunk*

pleese think of iggy today!

it's time fur his hoo-hah-ectomy, an' he was not furry happy this mornin' when mom bundled him into the PTU wifout his breffus. i hates t'tell him, but things ain't gonna get no better today! mom will update us as the day goes on. we'll be purrin' fur him, li'l monster-child that he is, an' we hopes you will, too.

wordless wednesday

(biggify for the full effect)

uhhhhh, nitro?

yer halo's slippin'!! musta been you what busted that glass

on mom's curio cabinet . . .