howefurr . . .

after ed got through appreciating the box, nitro & iggy got to cussin' an' discussin' who got the next crack at it. see who won:

an' here's the outcome:

the nipsticks? well, they ain't so shiny new any more--but still much appreciated. mom hadda chase these all down from three different rooms so she could document the degree of attention they've had!! so far, the dbd has not eaten any of them.

fun times!

ed thought furry highly of the bockus that mom's hansel-auction thingy came in. it smells enchantingly of kc, missy blue eyes, an' mama ml, as well as of primo nipsticks, which kc & her mama thoughtfully tucked inside as presents fur us! fank you so much!!!

below is a moovey of ed, appreciating the nipsticks, too!

Our cousin Roxy

roxy, naomi's kitteh, originally uploaded by olrebbie.

she lifs wif our mom's niece, naomi, in beautyful scottsdale, airyzona an' she is a pistol! after cousin naomi moved into her house, she kept thinking it was haunted becuz lights would be on in rooms where she had turned them off, and off in rooms where she had left them on. even inna middle of the night she'd wake up an' lights were on. finally, roxy jumped up an' whapped a light switch right in front of her, an' then she unnerstood--she wasn't cuckoo or haunted, just the companion of a furry clever kitteh!

simon meezer

simon meezer, originally uploaded by olrebbie.

he is our cousin, too, Roxy's big brofur.

manbean likes kitteh!!!

this german weatherman is a NICE man!!

NOOOOOOOOOO!

our furriend, mr. gary, has furry kindly brought yet anofur example of the boldness of *shudder* vishus deers!! watch this video if you dare!! where will it all end???

i am so humiliated!!

last night, i got brave an' meowed to come outta my suite an' sit on My Mama's lap. after i got comfy, she started feelin' me all ofur, not like pettin's. then she grabbed my tail an' hoisted my bottom up inna air, an' i just hadda tell her how i felt about that. she pologised an' said that somethin' was rotten in denmark (what's a denmark?) an' there was a stench fouler than lord vader's (who's he an' why does he stink????) inn air.

i was mortified to learn that she thought i had pooped on my skirt!!!! i would NEVER do that, NEVER. how undignified!!! anyway, she din't find nuthin' an' i woulda told her that if she'da just asked.

anyway, then daddy confessed he'd found the dbd rollin' in the remains of a dead snake out inna yard next to our house. My Mama made her go lay inna hallway, far away frum our chair, an' then iggy cozied up to the dbd an' sniffed an' licked her an' just acted generally sickenin'. but that's a boycat fur you. interested in anything disgusting!!

even though the dbd is pretty nice as dawgs go, an' she is allus nice to me, i can't imagine why she would wanna do that. an' My Mama an' Daddy din't let the dbd sleep inna room wif them last night, either. served her right; ugh.

yes, we WILL blog again . . .

but mom's furry busy catchin' up at her dayhunting place, an' inna evenings she's tryin' ta get her pictures frum the trip lined up to post. so one of these days . . . ve'll be bach!

our gramma came through her sergery just fine! Alla you bloggin’ kittehs, woofies, an' beans now know that your purrs an’ purrayers an’ good thoughts helped her efursomuch! our mom is stayin’ wif her this week in tucson an’ will return to chez pierce late next monday night, so we prolly won’t be bloggin’ a whole lot for a while.

Thank you all, dear furriends– our sweetiepie gramma is doin’ well!! purrs & headbonks.

~ed, nitro, xing, an’ iggy

mom insisted i get a job!

well, ok, so i did!!!

i heard onna talking box that 'portant papers can be stole

an' used by bad beans, an' that it's 'portant to shred those papers!

so there: i'm a natural!!

whadduhya mean, "dammit, not THOSE papers"????

jeez; there's just no pleasin' some humans.

here's ed an' nitro, at their jobs. she's a mean mom--

she makes us boycats work, but not xing. acourse, there's not

much work fur hissy, unemployed princesses these days.

peeyes: startin' today mom's goin' to arizona fur a week to visit our gramma bean while she hafs some sergery, so we will prolly be pretty quiet for that time an' whatefur time afterwards that it takes mom to get her hed unscrambled from travelin'. if you kin point some purrs 'n' purrrayers toward gramma in tucson, we would all preshiate it a very big lot!! th' actual procedure will be on wednesday. mom'll let us know how it goes, an' we'll pass the word.

funny furiday!!

here's a kitteh who knows howta haff fun--an' his name's iggy (but he's not OUR iggy; our iggy would eat the toy).

dad was thinkin' about . . .

gettin' some hairs transplanted on toppa his head,

but when the technician started makin' the incisions to plug 'em in,

he called the whole thing off!

hey, who's in charge here??

what's up with "canis" fur a cat blog verification??

we went to alexi's purrthday party, and there it was!!

what's next? "cervidae"?

more recruits!!!

oh, heavenly cod!!! now the meese has been inducted inta the vishus deers' horrible plot!! an' worstest of all, THESE has the newly-developed STEALTH ANTLERS!!!!!!!!! they look all smoove-headed an' furriendly, but those invisibul antlers are sharp as can be, all ready to skewer tender yung joosy cats.

HOO WILL SAVE US FRUM THIS MENISS???

oh, NOES!!!

**** NOT SUITABLE FOR YUNG OR WEAK-STUMMICKED KITTIES. ****

but you brave kitties who read on, please make sure the yung an' w-s kitties are told about this threat inna way that don't gif 'em too many nightmares!

the vishus deers haf perfected their devious plan of disguising themselfs as our best frend skeezix!! there is a whole herd of them atta secret hide-out in whiskerconsin (look out, victor an' nina)!! if you're inna mood fur a horror movie, you can see them here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/video/flv/generic.html?s=inwi10s22a3q81f

they are gonna infiltrate various areas of the youessay all at once by pretendin' to be skeezix on a national tour to meet ofur bloggin' kitties. an' then when they're all cozy inna room wif some nip juice an' a soft sofa or two, they're gonna spear them poor tender yung joosy kitties an' gobble 'em up!! (at least that's what we think they was sayin' in that video . . . ed was shriekin' the whole time an' we couln't hear it furry well--but what else could it haf been?) we are just SICK wif worry. keep yer ears open an' if you hear that skeezie's comin' to a town near you, raise the alarm!!!

an' skeezie, dear frend, LOOK OUT!!! BE EXTRA VIJILANT!!! you know the f.l. spotted those vishus deer tracks in The Big Forest. we fink they must be closin' in on yer house to keep you unner survailence an' make you stay put so you don't accidentally stumble on one of the fake skeezies an' cause a prollem wif their evil plot.

remember, kitties--if you see anyone who appears to be skeezie, gif his hindquarters a good sniffin' to make sure he's the REAL DEAL! an' if he looks furry, furry tall, maybe it's best to run away wifout sniffin'!

nitro's monday

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. *huh?* *what?* mumble, mumble, errrr, monday? OK. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

mom! she's TOUCHIN' me!!!!

we wonders who got inta the chair furst!!

happy saint paddy's day!

tummy tuesday

today we are posting our "big" sisfur's tummy picture, acause we feels bad that we doesn't allus talk nice about her, an' really, she IS furry nice to us . . . fur a woofie.

igmu learns about water

more meowsic for kittehs!!

here is a furry talented kitteh!! she is an entirely self-taught virtuoso!!

oh, noes!!

we allus thought miss ginger was a NICE lady, but we is re-thinkin' that opinion . . . she is threatenin' to get one of these torcher devices an' make poor getzger use it!!! just because he has a little extra averdupwah. she's discriminatin' against him just acause he has a li'l furchin. why, that's just rank fat-ism.



he'll hafta miss naps an' exert hisself!! we bets she laffs an' sniggers just like the lady who's torcherin' these two poor kitties! there may be a pillow-poopin' in her future!!

not-so-wordless

mom played this fur us last night, an' we wants to share this wif you--to further yer edjamaction inna kitteh fine arts!! this is the true story behint it.

toezie tuesday

we finks mom has posted this befur, but she sez not. anyway, there's nitro's toes!

big stinky!

mom went wif miss ginger to see this flower ofur the weekend--she said it stinks worse than our litterbox right after ed uses it!! the flower's name is amorphophallus titanum, which she translated as "great big deformed thingy", an' is more'n four feets tall. we are glad mom has a "black thumb" so that she will nefur bring one of these home. we can hardly stand ed!

trained cat!

ahahahahahahahaha! "trained" cat! ahahahahahahahaha!

(we're easily amused)

mom is peeved at blogger!!

please read BOTH posts below this one. the vishus deer post (immediately below) is correct fur monday.

howsomefurr, even though she marked the "mouses?" post for posting on tuesday, by golly, it posted last night. so we is sorry to say, there will be no other post on tuesday.

grrrrr.

mouses?

izzit mouses? ratties? paper-moffs?

NO! it's MIGHTY-MOUF--a.k.a. igmu!
dad lef' the noospaper onna kitchen table this morning, an' moo chewed lotsa holes innit. mostly along the folded edge. mom told him that the time for makin' paper snowflakes was past, but he just kept on shreddin'. she hadda flap him wif anofur section to get him to stop. yes, kitty-furriends, our iggy is back to normal.

vishus deer alert!

a new menace has been spotted on the streets of springfield--beware!! they could be in your town, too!!

the vishus deers haf developed tiny little "mini-me" deers!! they are only about the size of a regl'ar kitty, an' we figgers they're usin' 'em fur makin' kitties think that since they're so much smaller than reg'lar deers, the kitties can whip up on 'em. but then they lure the kitties into the bushes, where the really big, REALLY VISHUS deers will skewer 'em!

here is one perched onna hunter's truck, hitchin' a ride to a house where there's unsuspectin' kitties--he smelled 'em onna truck tires, an' figgered he'd just take advantage of the transportation so he wouldn't hafta waste his energy stalkin' 'em.

an' most chillin' of all, he was WAVIN' wif his forelegs at the li'l children inna car behind him! just like he was somethin' small an' cute that they might beg their mamas an' daddies to buy for them 'cause they wanna take 'em home fur a pet!! what if those li'l children had kitties, too???? oh, the HORROR!!

mom tells us a story.

earlier this week, we visited the lovely miss attie cattie at her blog, an' were impressed by her ability to use the bean litter box!! it made mom remember a story that she then told us:

once upon a time, long, long ago, in a galax . . . oh, wait. that's a different story. here's the real one: many years ago, our aunt spot tried to learn that skill--mom got her a clear plastic insert that fit under the toilet seat. the idea was that the beans would put some litters on it to convince her it was a potty box, an' she would balance onna seat an' do her business ofur it.

well, they were furry excited acause onna first day, dad found a poopie innit. this went on fur several days, but they couldn't catch her at it (she was a shy, well-bred ladycat, too). after about a week, mom finally got a peep through the hinge edge of the door--an' there was spotty, standin' carefully ON the plastic liner, doin' her business. she only weighed six pounds an' that wasn't enuf to make the liner collapse.

mom was disappointed, but thought, "well, she knows what she's supposed to do now, so we can probably take the liner out. when she notices that the liner is gone, she'll have to stand on the seat."

oh, dear. wrong. so totally wrong. wet cat. peevish cat. captured at arms-length cat. sudsy cat. still MORE peevish (bordering on completely hissed off) cat. scratched-up mom. sulking cat. apologies. cold shoulders. pee on chair. cursing. etc. etc. etc.

no further attempts at this type of training. efur. we are furry glad.

igmu speaks . . .

ummmm . . . i . . . what . . . sleep . . . rotten . . . head . . . need . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . uggggggggg . . . leave . . . *thunk*

pleese think of iggy today!

it's time fur his hoo-hah-ectomy, an' he was not furry happy this mornin' when mom bundled him into the PTU wifout his breffus. i hates t'tell him, but things ain't gonna get no better today! mom will update us as the day goes on. we'll be purrin' fur him, li'l monster-child that he is, an' we hopes you will, too.

wordless wednesday

(biggify for the full effect)

uhhhhh, nitro?

yer halo's slippin'!! musta been you what busted that glass

on mom's curio cabinet . . .

WHO DID THIS??!!??

well, that is what My Mama wants to know, an' it's for sure it's not ME! this happened last night when i was safe asleep in my cozy bed in my very own suite.

this cabinet is in a little corner of our living room, where the dbd can't fit. so guess who that leaves? of course; those rotten boycats, my brofurs. i heard 'em riotin' an' fussin' all last night. My Mama is not furry upset, though, acause now it makes a matching pair wif the ofur one just like it onna ofur side of the noisy picture box. the dbd broke the same glass outta that one wif her Lead Pipe Tail of Deth.

iggy has been just cuckoo lately, an' i thinks it's acause My Mama an' Daddy has been talkin' about a trip to the vettie fur him. somethin' about his hoo-hahs. he's actin' like the end of the world is comin'. fooey; i've been to the vettie an' came home fine, although they were mean to me an' i had a monsterus headache fur a whole day afters. he's a cowardy-custard.

oh, an' My Mama sez i can brag a little: i was sittin' on her lap this mornin' an' My Daddy brought out the rug sucker monster to clean up alla the busted glass. as soon as he got out to the livin' room, before he even made it start hollerin', alla the boycats ran outta the room. i stayed on My Mama's lap the whole time, even when he pushed the sucker unner our chair! My Mama said i am the bravest cat inna house! not the bravest xing-cat, or the bravest girlcat, but the bravest CAT. HAH! take that, you brofurs.

Made it, Ma! Top of the world! (Yeah, I noticed. You got there up over my head, remember?
And I know you're scopin' out the dish of ravioli on my lap.
Fugeddaboudit!)

did you hear that?

we all know that kitties sees an' hears stuff that beans don't. like us--sometimes we kin see the cats-who-came before acause they had so much fun in our house that they likes to visit from the bridge to see what's goin' on or make sure efurrythin's ship-shape. we even plays THoE wif 'em.
an' sometimes we kin see the beans that used to be (even miss debbie next door has done that while cat-sittin' us).

but xing is makin' mom wig out--she's watchin' solid walls. an' pictures. an' the woodstove. an' the ceiling. you know, places where a bean or a kitty would nefur be. it's like she's waitin' fur something else to pop out, an' mom's worriet what it might be! xing's not tellin', an' akshully, we're not sure she knows either. she's a such big feather-brain an' more'n a little spacey, so it wouldn't surprise us to find out she's hearing paint talk to her!

wordless wednesday

bloggin' is hard work!!

nitro takes over dictation duties while iggy "takes 10".
or plots his next raid on mom's breakfast.
or maybe both.

nitro: ok, mom, read that back to me from the top, wouldja?

mom: "it was a dark and stormy night . . ."
nitro: hey! i din't say that!!
mom: why not?
nitro: because it isn't night, an' it's not stormy.
mom: yeah, that's right -- you'd be under the recliner if it were stormy.
nitro: hey! i has sensitive ears!!! no fair makin' fun!!
mom: my ears are sensitive, too, but you assault them starting at 4:30 every morning.
nitro: what?? i'm not saltin' anything. i'm singin'! that's my best breakfast invitation!
mom: oh, forget it . . . i only have just so much time to help you boys blog before i go day hunting, and you've pretty much fiddled it all away this morning, blathering on about stuff that's totally off topic. ::leaves::
nitro: well, rats.
iggy: where? where? you know where izzit a rat? ::scampers::
nitro: wait for me!!!! ::papers scatter::

the sky is falling!

the sky is fallin', we tells ya!!! fat ed crawled up on mom's lap an' collapsed onto xing's backside an' she nefur even bothered to look up to see who or what was there. so ed just napped away for about half an hour, an' right after this photo, so did mom. she din't sleep easy, though; she kept haffin' dreams about nuclear war erupting on her lap.

you kin see that ed's de-fluffifying his hinderquarters. he's been at it fur some time, but we dunno why; mom's started giffen him some stinky goodness along wif his crunchies, an' a little goopy stuff called linatone to help make coats shiny an' thick. we'll see.

MOL - IMMD

mom saw this on the "it made my day" website:

Last time I took my cat to the vet, the vet snorgled his belly on the exam table! IMMD

Submitted by: ornith

it tickled her funnybone so much, she asked to post it here!

pometry

nikita an' his daddy haf made a challenge fur cats an/or beans to write pomes 'bout kitties! you should try it!!! our mom has written pomes 'bout kitties before, an' even had some printed on cloth squares fur beans to emborder an' sew into quilts! so she has helped us make up some haiku. this was even kinda fun, acause we got to see mom cuss an' watch smoke pour out her ears while her thinkin' wheels went 'round. so, here they are:

Lush green sprigs of heaven
Spring skyward, sweetly scented.
Catnip lust abounds!

Moonlight illumines
Dark shapes on deep windowsills.
Jade green eyes glow eerily.

Rippling, limpid, cool,
And fresh. It bubbles sweetly--
My water fountain!

Soft warm velvet pads
Stroke gently, never hinting
At the spring-steel claws.

groundcat's day update

well, xing gave nitro a buncha hissin' an' a few whappity-whap-whaps, but he din't go cryin' like a six month old kitteh, either. so we dunno how to call it! but it's gonna rain an' snow here today (an' monday), so winter's prolly still here for a while.

NOTE: tomorrow is POMETRY day!!

OOPS! 2 days in 1

mom screwed up! she posted "cocoa's squeak toy" (below) at the same time as "be vewwy . . . " (below-er) -- they was sposed to be wednesday's & thursday's posts, but now they're bofe wednesday's posts. we're gonna hafta talk to her about this!!!

inna meantime, you kin enjoy TWO posts in ONE!!

cocoa's squeak toy

as you can see from her squinty right eye, this toy hafs claws an' knows how to use 'em! it usually starts when iggy headbutts the dbd an' she knocks him to the ground. then they rassle around an' she pins him an' he smacky-paws her an' she pokes him amidships wif her solid-brick snoot, an' he . . . well, you gets the idea. an' then he wiggles free an' runs into the leg forest unner the kitchen table where she can't reach him. then five minutes later, it all starts again. we think he akshully LIKES this, fur some strange reason.

(an' we is furry pleased an' asited to announce that
THE RUG SUCKER DIED!!!)
[mom is not quite as asited as we are.]

be vewwy vewwy quiet . . .

i'm hunting sisfurs!!!

(xing wanted to title this "i smell you lookin' at me, you rotten brofur!" but there wasn't enough room on the line)

groundcat day

xingxing waits for the groundcat to emerge from his cave. if she beats the snot outta him when he does, there'll be six more weeks of winter. she may hafta wait a while . . . he's been known to sleep through groundcat's day entirely!

*******
we hadda lotta acitement in fronta our house last night!

mancat inna mancat cave!

wordless wednesday

toasty tuesday

igmu gets the top berth today!

mancat monday

two fur the price of one!
"oh, yeah?"
"yeah."

catsmas prezzint revealed!

miss ginger got this fur mom at catsmas, but mom sed there was already so much sweet stuff around that she would wait to eat this. so she putted it inna fridjamerator to keep it safe. an' it was safe, all right. until dad cleaned the fridge yesterday an' it fell out from behint some take away boxes. (he throwed away alla them purrfeckly good noms! outrageous, how these beans waste foods!!) so ennyway, she opened the box under our close snoopervision an' OMB! they looked like little woofie-treats--how furry odd! but she taste-tested 'em an' said they was truely yummy. we snifft 'em but even if they are "milk" chocolate, they sure wasn't milk. we din't like 'em, but mom sure does!!

thankful thursday

ed is furry thankful for comfy comforters!
(an' moms who buy them, one apiece, for her kitties.)

weird wednesday

(you notice that the mere gaze of the minion of basement cat has already frizzled nitro's eyebrow!)

toezie tuesday

an' a manly mancat, photo, too!!

we's sorry . . .

but we's gotta block nonnymouse comments from here on out. we's gotten too many bizzaro invitations an' jus' plain crapola to let it go on!

if we had a doghouse . . .

igmu would be in it!! fur supper last night, mom made her first batch of linguini wif chicken livers in AGES, an' ate a big plateful. but she din't share wif us. she furgot to put the leftofurs (about anofur cereal-bowlful) away, an' ofurnight, iggy (an' nitro) pillaged. she was lookin' forward to that fur breakfust, an' she is good an' mad! bofe ig an' nitro are amazinly sleepy this mornin', an' we figger they're sleepin' off bellies-ful of carbs!! mom sez they are li'l barsteds. whut's that mean? there ain't no bar here!

fluffy friday

iggy's got a fluffy, flatcat blanket. (not that he asked for it; ed just crawled down from dad's chest an' flopped on him.)

oh. dear. bast!

mom's been in the catnip again!!!

(akshully, she'd been to the eye doctor, but it sure
looked like she was nipped out!)

we is doin' our best to keep mom warm!

ed's toezie tuesday

an' yes, furriends, that's xing's aft he's touching--she was deep asleep.

mom got prezzies, too

these is mom's most favoritest gift--norskie style mittens wif cats. miss ginger, whose paws is as nimble as igmu's, knitted them fur her. an' we even sniffed miss ginger's kittehs in 'em--special blend yarn!!

we gots prezzints!

an' we shared wif the dbd. . .

third day of christmas . . .

ok, we is onna 3rd day of catsmas--an' here is a purresent for you. if you haffen't seen it before, you will LUFF it, an' if you haff, you will luff it all ofur again!

merry catsmas, efurryone!

alla us here at chez pierce--beans, dbd, an' meowers--wishes you your heart's desire, an' peace, health, an' plenty now an' furefurr!!

wif love an' purrs,
edmund, nitro, xingxing, iggy, cocoa, cheryl, & tom

mom goes fur a ride!

ed repurrts:

mom really special treatment yesterday!! daddy came home from work early, an' then some ofur nice men came to the house too, an' before you knew it, she had all four men kneelin' at her feets while she sat in our nicest chair an' each one of 'em talked to her an' gave her somethin'!

then some ofur beans drove up inna really stylin' limo--furry patriotic -- all red, white, an' blue! we hears it costs 1000 green papers to ride innit. them beans had furry fancy unyforms on, an' we thought we was haffin' a really splendid gatherin'. they talked to mom an' gave her stuff, too.

but then dad got in his big maroon machine an' took off, an' mom went wif the two beans inna limo to a big fancy building where they drove right inside wiff her an' she there she talked to a to LOTS an' LOTSA beans, an' many of them gave her stuff, too! dad was there, already.

then efurryone (but mom) decided that mom would stay there ofurnight. she was outvoted an' furry cranky, because her & daddy's godbaby from omaha was passin' through town on her way south, an' she hasn't seen her since 3 years. so mom din't get to see her, but dad cooked fur her an' talked all efening wif her an' me an' xing, an' iggy got to meet her. she is a furry nice lady!! but chiken-butt nitro din't come out at all asept to eat, an' dad hadda stand there an' guard him while he did. then he went an' hid all night. ::bawkkkkkk-bawkkkkkk-bawkkkkkk!!!!:: xingy got to sleep wif her an' sez she is furry cuddly.

well, you prolly guessed by now that the place mom went was th hopsital, an' alla the beans who came to visit were fire fighter EMTs and Emergency Medical Services (anna limo was a amulence). she has assma, an' the night before, she had a furry bad sinus attack that made her coff alot, and suck in more airs than she could push back out. so she wasn't able to breafe hardly at all--a classic assma attack.

a coupla weeks ago, she had bronchitis, an' took aunty biotiks fur it, an' apparently got all better. but maybe a few bugs just stuck around an' got lively later on acause she also had newmoanyuh.

so after about a millyun breathing treatments an' a billyun more bags of aunty biotiks, she is mo' bettah today anna doc decided she could go home an take more aunty biotiks an' sleep in her own bed. mom is glad; she sez a hopsital is noplace to go if you expect to rest. so she is nappin' inna recliner, an' dad gots the humididifire hooked up an' runnin'. we will keep you posted, but we suspects our catsmas project is on hold. we's sorry!!

good behavior makes . . .

strange bedfellows just before catsmas!we bets THEY gets prezzunts!
we are furry thankful that gramma moved to tucson so we could haff this cozy critter bed that useta be hers. mom & dad calls it a "couch", but alla us meowers know it's really a critter bed!

wordless wednesday

brofurs in arms

igmu speaks . . .

*sigh* why does efurryone fink i am a bad boycat? i can't helps it!! i am jus' a kitty, an' i doesn't know how to be anyfing differnt. i just does what i did when i liffed outside--why is inside differnt? does this "growin' up" thing that efurrycat talks about help me be better? when can i do it?? mom sez there could be a "hoohaectomy" sooner 'steada later in my future; does that help? what is it, ennyway?

i hopes that mr. santy paws knows that i really doesn't mean to be mean or bad. ed sez he brings lumps of black stuff to naughty kitties, but i pretty much like to play wif black lumps of stuff, so maybe it won't be too bad. an' ennyway, my good furriend billy sweetfeets norton sez he will share his pressies wif me--he's such a nice kitty to offer to share, i'm sure mr. santy paws will be extra-nice to him!

iggy's in trouble, big time! we KNOW he's not gettin' anyfing fur catsmas. we heard xing whinin' about him pickin' on her, but that ain't what's gonna get him a lump of dog doody in his sock. here's his score so far this week:

monday: grabbed mom's breffust sammich wif a paw when she put it down to get a drink of coffee. then he drank the coffee when she went to get the squirter to shoot him wif. result: drenching

tuesday: knocked dad's ice cream bowl outta his hand when he rushed to get his face in it. result: thwap onna headbone wif a spoon

wednesday: knocked mom's big wood peppergrinder down so dbd could use it as a chewbone. result: nuffin' excep a really potent stink-eye from mom, since she knew it was too late for yellin' an' wouldn't do no good

thursday: grabbed a bite outta mom's lasagna while she was eatin' it. result: fork-thwap onna skull, an' a butt-load of frustration acause he couldn't lick the lasagna residue offa the top of his head

friday: dragged mom's sammich plumb offa the table an' onto the floor while she got the grape joos outta the fridjamerator. result: dbd got a snack, iggy got a swat wif the noospaper

saturday: he got the bread box open an' tunneled his sneaky li'l arm an' paw alla way down to the bottom of the loaf!! dad asked him how he'd like it if HE got toasted inna toaster an' had jelly lathered all ofur him, since there was no breads left fur dad's breffust. we hear mom & dad are gonna keep the breadbox inna microwave frum now on. we finks it might be easier on efurryone if they kept iggy there, instead.

if santy paws really DOES know efurrything efurrykitty does, igmu is s-k-r-e-w-e-d!

how does i call santy paws?

xing lu sez: my rotten brofur, that moo-moo! he just makes me SOOOOO mad!! i was snoozing away quietly onna sofa inna living room, an' he jumped up an' swatted me whappity-whap-whap on my delicate little pink (outlined in brown) nose. for NO REASON!! i had finely got my courage up to stay out inna living room wifout bein' on My Mama's lap (because there wasn't any room there on accounta her little flat computer), an' even nitro an' fat ed weren't bothering me. but moo-moo? HAH! i hissed a really mean hiss at him, an' he ran off to the kitchen.

shortly thereafter came a crash inna kitchen, and then some drefful language from My Daddy, an' here came moo-moo again, full steam ahead--MY head!! he ran right up the front of the sofa an' up ofur my head. i was so surprised, i couldn't even hiss--so he turned around an' came up and whappity-whapped me again. well, you may just imagine that i hissed him good THEN an' threw in a few loud growls for emphasis.

My Mama threw her shoe to make him go away, an' it scairt him, so HE hissed, an' then I hissed louder, an' pretty soon nitro an' ed were hissin' too. so My Mama hollered, "if i'd wanted a dam snake pit, i'da got snakes insteada cats!! you kin all just quit that racket an' take a time out!!!!" then i hadda go to my room (which doesn't haf a warm stove, but there are two warm blanket-y beds), an' moo-moo hadda sit inna computer room, an' ed an' nitro just skulked back behint the sofa an' stayed outta Her way.

we can't even haf a catsmas tree acause moo-moo finks he's a acro-cat an' My Mama's afurraid he'll swing onna branches an' pull it ofur. i think santy paws should know that my brofur is a furry, furry bad little kitty an' shouldn't get nuthin' fur catsmas. My Daddy even calls him "billy bad@$$"!!

But My Mama sez that santy paws knows efurrything about efurrycat anyways, an' i don't need to be a tattletail. i don't know what that is. i just has a reglar floofy tail. it doesn't make no tattle; at least i've nefur heard or seen any. so i will hope an' purr that's true.

neckwarmer, part II

yesterday, summa you kitties wondered if dad's big giant head (why's mom chucklin' at that?) din't put a big dent in my belly. akshully not; here's the ofur picture she was gonna post, but couldn't get it to upload fur some reason. she's at home today, sickly, but not so sickly that she couldn't try again--an' here it is. you kin see that even when he tipped his head backerds, there was still plenty of room for it an' he just kinda ended up nestlin' in my furchin. so it was ok.

mutual mancat pillows!

happy saint nicholas day!

catsmas decoratin'* starts offishully at chez pierce when mom brings this li'l feller outta the attic an' puts him inna tall lighted cabinet inna liffin' room.
it's allus the same day: Saint Nicholas Day, december 6th.

our croatian great gramma bean giffed him to mom when she was only 7 years old (mom, not great gramma), so he's more'n half a century ancient. he is made of paper marshay an' his outfit is flocked on. he's holdin' a li'l sprig of somethin' that's sposd to be a catsmas tree, an' his top half twists offa his bottom--he was filled wif chocolate candies when he was new. yew kin learn more about the good saint here an' here.

mom allus did saint nicholas day treats fur our boy bean, dash, as he grew up, so he knew something most kids inna ozarks din't. when he was half-growed an' studied german language in school, one winter morning the teacher (herr zahn -- mr tooth) told the kids (in german) that whoefur took off their shoos an' put 'em outsidea the door would get a surprise. alla the kids looked at dash like he was goofy while he did it, because some of them understood the instructions but they din't think they made any sense, so they din't do it. but he did it acause he knew that that's what kids in europe would do the night befur saint nicholas's day. then the next morning they would find the little treats that the saint had left fur them. so out inna hall was an older student wif a bag of candy--an' since dash was the only one to show up, he got the whole thing!! mom was furry proud for him!

so this is allus a happy day at our house, an' we wishes one to YOU, too!
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*ixept outdoor lights, which can go up as early as mid-november, acause dad puts them up an' he sez all sortsa non-catsmas-like words if he hasta do it when it's rainin' or snowin' or icin'.