dawgs is the cwaziest peeples!

we tole you yestiddy that we'd show you somethin' else frum the day at purina farms when we met flat skeezix an' not-flat miss karen, but we can't get the dad-blamed moovey to load on blogger. so we will hafta tell you insted--an' you will hardly be able to belief it!

there was a competition to see which woofie could get wettest!! at least, we fink that was the point of it; they were certainly gettin' plenty wet. we just dunno what dawgs see in divin' inna pool--ON PURPOSE yet! they ran around outdoors an' jumped inna big plastic hole fulla water!

it was already kinda rainin', an' cold enough to freeze the giblets on any chick-hen you'd care to name, an' still there were crowds of beans standin' around yellin' for one dawg er another, cheerin' 'em on to see who could jump the farthest into the pool.

mind you, those same cheerin' beans were bundled up in heavy jackets, wearin' scarfs an' hats an' gloves, wif the ends of their noses all cold an' drippin' (an' that DON'T mean a bean is healthy, honest!), an' yet they was makin' them woofies jump just nekkid as they was born into that icy water. maybe it was some kinda endurance test to see which dawg was the last to freeze solid or somethin'.

you know you wouldn't catch a cat (1) wastin' energy by jumpin' into icy water, (2) runnin' around outdoors inna cold by choice, or (3) gettin' wet by choice, just to make beans holler! heck, our beans holler at cocoa  alla time, an' she ain't even doin' any of (1), (2), or (3)!!!  no sir; no ma'am. no cats we know would be doin' that, not while there was a plump cushion, a fluffy duvet, a cozy sofa, or warm-air-blowin' thingy available. no cat would willinly even step a pinky-toe out inna rain, let alone fling hisself into a pool of cold water!

we fink this maybe was just a demonstration to the werld at large of -- once again -- cats' nacheral superiority ofur dawgs by virtue of smartness. you just can't imagine enny cats bein' involved in pool divin', can you?

well! at last we gotted to go somewhere--at least, flat us did (tee-heeeeeee, we sed flatus!).

on saturday mommer wented to purina farms in saint louis's city, an' guess hoo was waitin' to meet us? flat skeezix an' the real Food Lady, miss karen!! (we was disappointed that there wasn't no Mr. Tasty Face, acause we wanted to try his flaver fer ourselfs if skeezy would let us.) of corse you reckernize skeezy an' his ripply mussels, all decked out in his pink fevver boa an' moovey star glasses. that's his brofur tripper next to him. trip got awarded alla those bells onnis collar acausa alla the berds he makes go ded. an' we's sorry, we don't 'member the name of the ladycat at the right, but her bean is a furriend of miss karen.

we wented around a big, big room visitin' lotsa kittehs an' woofies who where there hopin' to find their furefurr homes. they tole us that the nice beans who were standin' around had bringed 'em so they could meet folks who were lookin' fur love. ummm, err, you know whut we means ... NOT the ofur thing.

we finks there must be innernets inna shelters, acause they all crowded up when they reckernized skeezy. he was very popular wif the kittehs there-- he's furry easy to talk to, not a stuck-up sellebrity-type at all--an' they bended his ears a lot, efurrytime he got close to them! an' one li'l orinch kitteh cosied up to nitro, but mommer din't get a picture of that. 

we also helped put together "welcome home" bags wif food an' toys an' treats fer woofies an' kittehs who get 'dopted frum shelters. you kin read more about it here (an' there is lots more about this event onna mousebreff site). this gimundus cat waved goodbye to us when miss karen an' mommer left the building.

we're kinda puzzled by miss karen's statement that now she could cross mommer off her bukkit list. we dunno what "crossin' off" is, but it must be ok wif bofe of them, since they were smilin' a lot the whole time they was together. 

 

 tomorrow, we will tell you a little more about the day--a crazy woofie tale!

artsy fartsy tuesday

mommer gotted a new version of her photo softwear, The Gimp, an' she just hadda try it out on us. i mean, it din't hurt or ennyfing, but it made her make up some new werds fur the bad werd list until she figgered out how to take away most of the colors, bit by bit, but not take away OUR colors! she suspects there's a much easier way to do it with the new improved version, but she hasn't discovered it yet. there'll be MORE new werds when she finds it! ;-)

we let mommer post today ...

(... acause it imbarassed ed;-)
ed! jeez! put your head down while you're sleeping, yeah? you're giving me a stiff neck just looking at you.

(he sits beside me while i'm at the computer, and he just sleeps "at" me!)

nope, nowhere in sight

no, ma'am, mommer. i don't see ennycat who mighta done that. nope. yup, 3:45 ayem inna mornin' is pretty early fur somecat to be riotin'. you'd think they'd all be asleep. me? why am i not asleep? ummmmm, igmu was kickin' me ... yeah, that's the ticket--he was kickin' me. then there was this loud noise, an' i come out here to see what it was, an' then you putted onna light. yeah, that's how it happened, all right! mommer? why's there steem comin' outta yer ears? mommer? dear, sweet mommer o'mine? ::sneaking slowly backward out of arm's range::  mommy?

except fur mommer's lap ...

this is the best seat inna house. it's a nicely padded mat snuggled up to the warms blowin' outta the back of the computer when it's fired up. since she won't let us sit onna keyboard (somethin' about ham-footed, lard-@$$ed beasts ... we don't unnerstand that a-tall--we are beasts of the feline, not the porcine persuasion), this is the next best spot. an' it's easy to peek around the edge of the screen to be sure she's not goin' too far astray in her transcribin'! some pawrents haff been knowed to ofur-eggsaggerate their fuzzy offspring's aventures, but we keeps a close rein on mommer's lyin' ... errrr ... poor typin' tendencies. efurrything you read in OUR bloggie is the truth! we might "let on" a little here an' there, like tom sawyer, but outright lie? nefur. efur.

fur example: mommer just paid me a compliment--she sez i haf a bright career ahead of me as a politician!! an' she swears that's the truth. see?

mencat sunday on monday

well, autumn has come to the ozarks, where we liff. that means it gets colder. so our easy like sunday pictures are gonna look more like this, more often. we are acitied acause the windows kin be open durin' the day, an' we can see bird tv an' squirrel tv with sound AND smell-o-vision! an' mommer is acited acause the bedroom window kin be open durin' the night, an' she kin put anofur cover onna bed an' cuddle up warm like a bug inna rug. daddy is NOT so acited, acause mommer would sleep wif the window open if it were snowin', an' iffen it gets down inta the 40 degrees area, he hasta wear a stockin' hat to bed onna counta he ain't got ... well, let's put it this way: all he needs is a cat tongue to comb his hairs. they ain't many, an' he keeps 'em teeny-weenie short!

xing got to come out later inna afternoon, when it gotted warmer an' we went t'sleep inna kitchen window where there's a massive sun puddle. xing slept on mommer for a good coupla hours, an' she hafs a heated cat-cup bed inner suite, so she is pretty comfy an' don't hafta get contaminated wif boycat cooties;-)

meYARRR, me hearties! we welcomes ye t'th'annual Meow Like A Pirate day aboard the good ship cat o' nine tails. those of ye--cats, woofies, birdies, buns, an' all other manner o'th' Lord's creechurs--who wish to sail wif us are welcome.  

belowdecks ye will find cabins an' all manner of conveniences, treats, an' toys to suit each an' all. we reckermends that if ye be not familiar-like wif the pirate life, ye be readin' a bit o' last year's sea log (here) t'become cognizant o' some o' th' whys an' wherefores an' whats that applies when at sea. all who'll sail aboard the cat will sign The Articles an' be sworn as crew.


i be captain meow fang ... an' i says we pauses here an' now to remember those good piratecats an' true what sailed wif us last year, an' who haf now sailed away ofur the rainbow bridge. aye, an' we lends a thought t'them what be too infirm o'body t'accompany us this day. we names 'em all in our hearts an' purrrays t'meet again wif 'em inna nacheral order o'things. we specially marks th'passin' o'brave Poppy Vic, what losted his long, tirin' battle wif th'evil crab. he be surely dancin' wif th'angels an' not davy jones--for he were a true gentlemanbean, an' no pirate--he were right fond o'cats. ::silence but for seabirds' cries and the sound of the waves::

::after an appropriate pause, voices rise again and many visitors go below to learn about life at sea. time passes. they return. meow fang announces the purpose at hand::

now let us begin our voyage! we sails this year to the far-off an' strange island o' maddygaskar! there we seeks not gold nor siller, but that rarest an' truest o'treasures, knowledge. i hears maddygaskar be a fair odd place, an' i would see it befur i goes t'davy jones. when hoomin beans furst come upon it, there were no cats to greet them! not large, not small, not in-between. no cats a-tall. nor woofies, neither.

those of ye what hath yer own craft, our ship's boats will see ye safe aboard them, an' then will all rondevoo in deep water out past yonder point.  

these here beauties be me trusty crew:

furst mate nitro the nasty;

mistress-at-paws, xing the slice;

an' gunner's mate, igmu clever-paws,
who be our former cabinkit, lookout, an' signalman.

we haf heard it said that we brethren o'th' sea embrace not the new things in life but liff inna past. we now seeks t'expunge that vile caluminy by introducin' our cabin-bot. in these days o'straitened purse-strings, we find his stalwart refusal o'both victuals an' grog t'be downright appealin'. (nor do he whine about litter scoopin'!)

now, this be a workin' sailin' ship, an' not no fancy croose, so there be reg'lar hours inna mess (that be th' dinin' saloon t'ye lubbers), an' there'll be no yowlin' beforetimes fer an early feedin'. that foolishness may work on hooman beans, but by triton's horn, we be kitties, an' we knows what ye're up to! howsome'er difficult that may be for some o'ye, there be victuals worth th'waitin' for within:

o'course, there be plenty o'plain, honest toona joos, as the late cap'n nels bid there must allus be aboard the cat. 

also, though this be no croose, the younger set haf noised it about that we should be more liberal in th'matter of adultcat beverages, so there be all manner o' niptinis, meowgaritas, fish house punch, pina catladas, catsmopolitans, mancattans, kamikatzies, moscow moggies, an' so forth:

be sure ye do not benumb yer tongues wif spirituous liquors, lest ye miss out on the luscious food:

there be a vat o' cream, an' bacon an' french toast;

a variety o'fishes' meat; an' fishes' eggs in cream on chewy pastry;  

smoked fishes' meat; an' real live fresh dead shrimp!

a bounty o' fruits for them as wants 'em--purrhaps our NOMS furriends who accompany us;

all manner o'cheeses, an' rare roast beast:

an' at the furry speshul request o'th' Meezers, last but not least, there be french-toast-an'-bacon-stuffed HAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! 

::xing passes by, licking her lips, and whispers in the captain's ear. he speaks::  ladypiratecats an' gentlepiratecats an' furriends of all sorts, i be most sorry to announce that we be haffin' no pig races ashore this year, as we haf allus had befur. it seems that the contestants haf, errrr, vanished. we regrets any disappointment this may cause amongst ye what likes a furriendly wager now an' again. we will haf a better larder security staff next year! ::he glares after the departing xing. the sound of a ladylike belch, then a giggle, is heard from the direction of the gangway::

insted, should we be smiled upon by brizo an' sent a right smart wind, we shall be treated t'th'spectacle o'th'waterskiin' westies, who took ship wif us only yestere'en. they be fair entertain' woofies, an' no mistake! let us haf a round o'purrs fur their kind offer!!! ::purrrpurrrpurrrpurrrpurrrpurrrpurrrpurrrpurrrpurrr!!::

::balmy winds and fair seas speed the flotilla on its way, and before too many meals are eaten or too many naps are taken, the "red island" is sighted and the various craft heave to in a beautiful harbor. ships' boats busily ferry ashore passengers and crew alike::

::not far from the smooth, sandy beach, the frisky host crowds into a welcoming lodge and makes fur the milk-and-treat bar and the necessaries. when all needs are met, most reassemble outdoors with cap'n meow to explore this unusual yet welcoming place. they set out down a nearby path::

:: not far down the trail, the crowd spots a native:: meyarrrrr! mind me well, ye young kits, be not a-chasin' of the natiffs as ye go about yer rompin', as they needs no more meddlin' from anyone. because hoomin beans is fumblin' stoopids, many o'the creechurs what liff here now be so endangered as are our big cousins. ::points with his tail:: yon lass be what the hoomins found here, a long ways back, insted of us an' woofies. 'tis a anymul called a fossa, 

which, somewhat disturbin'ly, hath a cat-like body and a dog-like nose, though it be neither cat nor dog. this lass we sees be ackshully a close cousin of the mongoose (which, inserdentally, be no kin t'a goose a-tall). th'long tail helps it balance in trees high above th'ground, just as we cats use our tails to jump to high spyin'-lairs in our landbound homes. ::the company strolls on a long ways, looping around back in the direction of the lodge while investigating many rocks, trees, and plants::

::again he gestures:: yon tree be fulla lemurs, 

unusual furred persons what looks all googly-eyed like they haf dallied at th'nip pipe a wee minnit too long. though they resembles some monkeys, they are not close relatiffs! ::ambling, scrambling, and hopping as cats,  woofies, an' buns will, the day wears on and they continue to discover rare and precious life. a few exuberant kits are soundly cuffed as they run up to a small fellow by the wayside, frightening him into hiding::

an' this wee one hidin' unner a bit o'brush be a tenrec. he seems quite shrewish or hedgie-like, an' yet be no relatiff of theirs at all. ::now bein' everso careful, the smarting kits and others continue to prowl the roadside greenery, sniffing in vain for catnip or silvervine::

many things in this place be like an' yet not-like those what we know of. th'laceleaf plant grows under water, an' seems to haf more holes than leafs. th'travelers' palm be not related to any o'th'palm trees which we haff seen befur on our voyages. as we makes our way through this forest back t'th' lodgin's, it begins to seem almost nacheral that th'trees be standin' on their heads! thanks be t'th'Pow'rs that the rooms awaitin' us be not upside down, too! (nor, Bast forbid, th'conveniences!!)

::soon the lodge comes into view:: ah, mateys, just think on it. here we be in a place passin' strange, lookin' as it do summat like unto our world an' yet bein' no kin to us or that which we knows. these years past, togefur we haf sailed far an' wide an' seen much, collectin' fine booty along the way--but hear me! th'treasure we haf laid up this day be in our memories, annit be this: we what thinks we knows so much must reckernize there be yet much more t'know. an' though a creechur or a plant look different from us or ours, they still haf rights to life an' health an' happiness. ('twill be difficult to call this t'mind when gold an' siller come into question amongst us, but we will strive to remember that we be not so very different after all.)

::a sailorcat runs up panting, and skids to a halt before meow fang:: cap'n, cap'n!! there be a buncha  turisty-types down at the dock, a-beggin' of us that we giff them transport to a place called Noo Yawk. they looks kinda ... odd ... t'me. there be a couple th'like o'which i nefur seen afore. an' they be in an awful hurry--keep sayin' t'move it move it move it. that be right unmannerly, i thinks, when they be askin' favers! ::steps back a pace at the sight of the captain's face:: 

meyarrr! shut thy mackerelhole, ye iggernant git. ye should haf spent th'day inne brush wif us, 'stead o' ... ah, let it be. ::the captain ponders:: Noo Yawk, ye say? i haf not heerd o'it meself, but if it be on a chart somewheres, we shall find it. ::he squints through his spyglass towards the dock::

aye, they be a motley lookin' assortment, but they be our brethren for all that. ::aside:: (although i will be steerin' xing clear o'that plumpish one ... .)

::to the young sailorcat:: do you run back t'th'dock an' inform the new folk they be welcome aboard come first light. then go back t'lodgin's, haul the quartermastercat outta th'milk bar, an' inform him o'th'need fur additional an' varied supplies an' quarters appropriate t'th' new guests. an' then ... ::sailorcat scarpers before the words "new guests" have settled on his ears:: 

::the captain strides towards the lodge, muttering:: MEYARRRRRR! these young kits ... grumblegrumblegrumble ... i hopes i has no occasion t'say "why be th'toona joos gone" when i gets t'th'ship ... this Noo Yawk place better not be takin' too long t'find for i haf a wish t'see me own darlin' sweetheart, miss midnight, in her unruffled summer frock ... mumblemumblemumble ... 'lect nitro cap'n next year, by neptune's hairy ...  

toezie tuesday

MOMMER!!! her toezies are touchin' meeeeeeeee!!!!!
an' will ya PLEASE tell her i am NOT her kitteh?

mancat monday

no, no! click HERE ... an' then you should put my name furst acause i'm the oldest an' wisest, an' then nitro's, then iggy's, an' ya doesn't hasta even mention xing *WHAP* ow, mommer!! ok, ok, you kin put her in, too, but the dbd isn't even a c*WHAP* SHE'S YOUR SISFUR AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!! yes'm, mommer. ::grumblegrumble:: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! nuffin', mommer, nuffin'. i was just clearin' my throat.

i'm gonna go nap fur a while, mommer; you seems like you is doin' fine wifout my supervisin' the bloggie.

toezies an' tongues tuesday on wednesday

mommer met this sweet li'l pussycat at the reid park zoo in tucson! she was so tickled at the pink tongue peekin' out amidst the snores;-)

we will nefur furget

WE'S FAMOUS!!!!!!

you guyse!!! guess whut!! a few munths ago, a ladybean named kennedy morgan emailed us an' wanted to know if we would be innerested in bein' the subjeck of a mazagine article!!! (we were dummies; we thoughted the mazagine, Spot Magazine, was only online, but it is a real, live publication inna Pacific Northwest. miss kennedy is a woofie breeder (but she hafs ofur critters, includin' cats, too), an' is a furry nice person.

well, we talked it ofur wif mom an' miss jan of jan's funnyfarm, who made our header an' background fur us, an' decided it was a good idear. so mommer helped us gather a few facts, miss jan provided graphics, an' we tole miss kennedy about ourselfs. the publishin' wheels started rollin', an' we started waitin'.

she tole us the publication would be out in july, but it din't show up an' it din't show up, an' by august mommer was turrible sick an' din't care no more. but lo an' behold, a couple-three days ago, miss jan emailed to say she'd checked yet again, an' it was online at last. effidently the e-version was haffin' some prollems that caused it to come out lonnnngggggg after the paper version.

but the 'portantest thing is, it is HERE now!!!

so we are haffin' our 15-views-of-fame at last--hope you will rejoice wif us! an' yes, if we are efur caught wearin' garments, you may touch the hem of them;-D

an' a big PS:  if you likes the luffly header an' background miss jan made, you should tell 'er so--an' if you wants one, she'll be glad to do business wif you!

uh-oh ...

this is igmu after he founded out he couldn't open the door to xing's suite enny more. talk about hissin' off the devil!!! mommer's got two smokin' holes inner forehead now!

werdless wensday

sharin' is carin' ...

even when it ain't YOU that's sharin' YOUR goodies! at least that's whut mommer tole us.

last munf, mommer wented to arizona to bisit her mommer an' sistur an' attend her sistur's granddaughter's weddin'. efurrythin' was lovely an' she hadda great time, an' was furry happy to spend efurry evenin' playin' scrabble wif her mommer, even though her mommer (age 96) whupped her butt most efurry time. gramma don't get out much, so mommer tooked her to lunch an' fur a ride through a cactus

one day, she wented to a little town souf of tucson called tubac, which hafs lotsa stores wif pretty jools an' statchers an' clo'es to buy. many of the stores were closed acause mostly it's a place where turists go, an' most sane beans don't do turist in arizona in august acause it's so hot (but it's a dry heat). one place she wanted to go was closed, so she sat fur a minnit onna bench outsidea it, inna shade, an' pretty soon there was a familiar feelin' onner ankles. a ornich kitteh was sleekin' up to her an' stickin' his nose inner purse!!

just befur she tooked her rest, she had stopped inna herb shop an' gotted us a sooveneer: a packet of organically growed NIP! boyhowdy, did he haf her number! so she opened the bag an' giffed him a good snootful onna pavement.

 he was FURRY appreciative. he faceplanted in classic style an' rubbed his face innit.

inna end, all there was lefted was his drool. we'd say he had a pretty good time.

an' we can attest that that was some primo shi uhhhhhh ... nip. we has enjoyed efurry flake an' flower, an' don't mind at all that she shared some wif him. we wishes EFURRYCAT an' EFURRYBEAN could feel like that alla time!