19 September 2009

. . . to cross the bounding main!

greetings, me hearty kitties! an' welcome to all ye NOMS guests!!

first off this day, i commands that we all doffs our headgear an' remember wif a moment o' silence all those what has gone inta the Great Beyond befur us, not least among them our revered Cap'n Nels the Cranky, wifout whom we none o' us would efur haf stepped paw on board a sailin' vessel nor trod a sandy isle. an' th' while, be namin' in yer minds ALL those whom we remember this day, an' whom we honors wif feastin' an' carousal, as befits them what follows the way o' a gentlecat o' fortune!

***** silence *****

we seeks this day to soothe our souls wif the poundin' heartbeat o' our planet--the mighty waves what wash the shores o' the world. they scour the marks o' time from the beaches--let their sound wash clean our memories of all but the sweet reminders.

the good ship cat o' nine tails be at yer sarvice. be so kind as to notice the figgerhead. it were carved fur us by an ol' shipwright what had retired t'the Ol' Piratecats' Home that cap'n nels built wif part o'the booty from last year's adventure.
so let us away to fling oursel's on the bosom o' the ocean! if ye ha' not a ship, come aboard wi' us! if ye ha' yer own fine ship, cast off right smart, an' jine the flotilla. ah, a fine sight it is!
here be yer host crew:
nitro the nasty
xing the slice
ol' scratch's own coally wee imp -- igmu, the cabinkitt
an' i be yer 'umble cap'n, mao fang, in the glorious tradition o' cap'n nels.
belowdecks there be all manner o' amenities:

soft beds fur nappin'
the mess deck for, well . . . nommin':
an' a bountiful feast set forth from th' galley:

an' a sweet treat fur those what craves it
('specially them lads onna black furrball)
there be tuna juice aplenty fur them as likes it, as well as niptinis, fat cat ale, meowgaritas, an' the like at the sideboard. although the late cap'n nels were known to despise umberella drinks (an' we hope he ain't gonna spin up a waterspout in his wrath at this change), mao fang be master now, an' it be well known he do like his tipple! o'course, there's moo juice an' adam's ale aplenty fur them what don't imbibe spiritous likkers or be too young to do so yet.

there be plenty o' games an' toys fur playin', an' ye won't hafta work too hard t' move 'em--the ocean be doin' it fur ye!!
the latest in comfort stations be sitchyated on the orlop deck -- 'ware the ladders, there be a lot o' rungs! truth told, th' comfort station BE the orlop deck--since we kitties be but light in weight (though we be many), a load o' sand were added as ballast, an' there be plenty o' space t'accomodate us all, wif bounteous material fur scratchin'. mind the cabinkitt, howsomefurr--he likes t'get a close look at the goin's on, if ye get me drift, an' i've no desire t'preside at a bathin' party.

there be plenty o' litter sifters stationed 'roundabout, so our "head" be clean at all times. be ye not dismayed at their form. i has not clapped eye on 'em meself, but believes them t'be a sort o' fevver . . . i heered Pirate Mum say she'd engaged a platoon o' polly-tishuns t'man th' shovels, as they were 'customed t'that line o'work.

yarrrrrrr! we has sighted our furrst port o' call, the beautyous island o' meooorea.
the natives be furriendly, an' colorfully dressed, an' their beans allus has special foods ready fur kitties!
an' while we be on the island, remember that the onshore comfort stations be located inna bushes back AWAY frum the beach!
there be lots o' nappin' places fur sun an' shade.
there be plenty o' snacks at water's edge for ye what's been known
t'dabble yer toezies inna water:
when we've sampled all the goodness that this lovely island holds, why then--we shall weigh anchor an' tellyport ofur the seas afollowin' th' mighty vessel the black furrball as doughty cap'n dante an' crew leads us on a bold adventure through the perilous devil's triangle to a fabled island called "baast". we finds it not on any chart, so we be trustin' the wise master o' th' furrball t'bring us into port an' out o' it again!

we thanks ye each an' all fur yer good faith an' partycipation these three september 19ths--an' hopes ye will teach yer kits t'carry on this tradition long years after we be drydocked at the Ol' Piratecats Home!! there has been cats aboard ship (much to the detriment o' ratties) since sail first spanked inna breeze, an' we shall NOT let this custom pass from our world.

god bless ye, fair company!!

16 September 2009


this morning, we hadda remind our buddy getzger to send us the name of the caption contest winner. here is his response:

So sorry! I've been busy drinking and sleeping and riding in cars. As opposed to chasing cars.

It will have to be The Tower Hill Mob with "I told you it wasn't a pencil sharpener!"

so now we know. concatulations, toby an' cupcake!! yer seegar will be on its way soon!!

an' efurryone, lookit the next post, too!!


skeezix, mao, rocky, & trip's food lady is runnin' a
pirate costume contest !!!

whatta way to get inna spirit o' th'day!!

go enter NOW, dressed in yer best piratical finery!!

14 September 2009


the tuna joose be ready fur loadin' aboardship, an' the flag be ready to hoist.
be ye sailin' wif us on 19 september? 'tis "meow like a pirate day"
(although woofies may woof like a pirate, etc.).
here be yer badge; display it purrroudly, an' ready yer tales o'derring-do onna high seas
(er low seas, if that be yer thing;0)