xing speaks ...

hello, furriends, it's me, xingxing. My Mama sez i should write to you all an' asplain why i haf my own suite. it is because the rotten boogery boycats who liff here too (My Mama calls them my brofurs, but i am NOT claimin' 'em) don't like me. they think i am a THING to play wif an' scare. they all knows that i am a refined, timid ladycat wif hyper-sensitivities to noise an' movement an' stuff (like the bean princess an' her pea), an' they exploits my delicacy for their own evil amusement. when i furst came to liff here, i tried furry hard to get along wif them, but they chased me an' bited me an' scratched me, an' i was cryin' an' afurraid alla time, which was most of it, while My Mama an' Daddy were at their day-huntin' places. sometimes i gotted infeckshuns from their wicked claws an' teef, an' since i am a ladycat, i do not brawl. so now i stay safe in my suite while My Mama and Daddy are away from home. when they come back, i can come out an' nestle on Mama's lap acause she will keep me safe. i loves her extra-special-much, but if she's not there, i try to get on My Daddy's lap. that frequently doesn't work acause that stinkin' nitro cat is his special buddy, an' he's usually there somewhere, waitin' to nab me.

Mama, you should not read the next paragraph:

(aside: just between you an' me, furriends, i sometimes think My Mama's been a little lax in teachin' those little horrors not to pick on ladies!!!! )

okay, Mama, you can read again now.

i don't remember much of my life until My Daddy an' Grandaddy found me, all alone, zipped in a soft-side 12-pack cooler at the side of the road. (yes, it's true, some humans are as iggernant as that). My Mama tarnished the welkin a bright, bright blue when they got back to our house with me, an' there is a particularly hot seat in Mr. Devil's house reserved at her request for the person(s) who left me there. but i was beautyful, clean, well cared for, brushed all smoove, had had my ladygardenectomy, an' was furry furriendly to humans an' dogs, so nobean can figger out the why of how i came to be there. i can't remember if i was so "spooky" before i came here, an' that's why i got left out, or if i'm "spooky" now because of it. 

we haf tried bach flower remedies, feli-way, an' seferal herbal concoctions that said they'd calm me like a buddah, but no joy. so today My Mama  ordered a kitty thundershirt for me, an' we ALL hopes that i will come to love an' enjoy it--an' life, too--we will keep you posted. thank you all fur bein' my furriends!!

one night last week inna wee hours, mommer gotted outta bed to wee (that's why they call 'em the wee hours, we guess). while she was occupied, she heard a lotta kitty-cussin' an' howlin' that din't sound familiar (like the noises us boys usually make while we're attemptin' to dismember each ofur). so she finished up an' follered her ears into the liffin' room, where she saw the door to xing's suite was OPEN!!!

alla us boys were in there, invitin' xing to come out an' play inna liffin' room (honest!), but she din't wanna an' was tellin' us so at the toppa her lungs--which, fur a six-pound cat, are pretty well developed. an' we haff NO idea where she learnt the werds she was usin'. so mommer invited us to make like the trees an' leaf, an' we did. she sat down an' talked to xingie fur a while, but xingie wasn't inna furry receptive mood, so mommer pushed the door shut an' hauled up two hefty chairs to block it, an' then went out the back door uv the suite an' tied the handle to the cxat tree (sxrry, the letter between "n" an' "p" has suddenly quit werkin') sx it wasn't xpenable either, an' went back tx bed. the next night, she had prxxf pxsitive xf just what happened!!

she was sure that was hxw the raid, errrrrr, visit had cxme abxut, but this clinched it. sx she asked daddy to (oh, look, "o" werks if you tap onnit twice!) fix it, an' now it looks like this:

we haf ackshully seen a moovey of a kitty opening THIS kind of knob, but we 'spect it'll take iggy a while to figger it out. after all, he' was here three or four years befur he figgered out the lever!!