nitro:  lookit, guys!

ed:  ... *prying eyes open* ... huh? wha'?

iggy:  no, really, ed--get up here an' look!

ed:  ugh.  gimme a minnit, i'm creaky when i start  mo... HOLY BAST! whatta heck is mommer doin'??

nitro:  she's DANCIN'!! in PUBLIC!

iggy:  right out there onna driveway, in fronta the HOUSE!!!

ed:  is billy sweetfeets out ther wif her?

nitro: i don't see 'im. an' lissen! she's SINGIN'!!

iggy:  oh, noes! you know how THAT sounds!! the naybers will fink the firemens are comin'!!

ed:  maybe we should holler at her an' get her to come in! that don't sound like singin' werds to me ... more like werds from the bad-werd list!!

nitro:  *backing away from door* nonononononogettabackgetbackgetbackguys!!!!! here she comes--an' she's still singin' an' dancin' ...

mommer:  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! geddouddamywayyewbuggersgeddouddamyway!! lemmethroughgimmethesinkand somelyesoap!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *scrubscrubscrubscrub* *splashsplashsplash*

mommer:  jeez!

nitro:  whatta heck, mommer?

mommer:  *pantpantpant* went out to get newspaper. paper all rolled up. stuck hand inside roll. lizzerd in roll! crawled over hand. scared bejaysus outta me. *pantpantpant* *wheezewheezewheeze*

ed: do you want i should call daisy an' see if she makes housecalls, mommer? she hunts lizzerds real good!!

iggy:  lemme att'im, lemme att'im!! i kin fix 'im! open dat door!!!

nitro:  um, mommer?? why are you laffin' so ... strange? should we call daddy? are you ... OK? mommer? do you want yer inhaler?

ed:  guys, i fink we otter leaf mommer alone fur a while . . .

peevish, we tells ya. PEEVISH!!!!

that's just how we feel, since the dbd got to go to gramma pierce's house when mommer an' dad wented ofur there on sunday fur a cookout, an' WE din't! they even hadded her homemade ice cream wif maryskeeno cherries innit, an' din't bring none home fur us. we don't feel bad at all fur lockin' the dbd inna human litterbox room while us kittehs par-tay'd on monday. it was pretty nice not to haf her droolin' an' starin'. we knows some of you were a little freeked out by the noises comin' from there, but she wouldn'ta hurt nocat, just pinned 'em to the floor an' flee-bited them a little like she does nitro.

we is haffin' a labor day nayberhood barbyq ...

so c'mon down!!! (that's sheff foxy frum down street workin' the grill. don't bovver him while he's concentratin' or you could end up wearin' the chick-hen. hmmmm, that don't sound ALL bad ... )

we gots plenty of real live fresh ded fish an' shrimp an' cow an' chick-hen!! there's lots of niptinis an' mother's milk an' toona joos an' cool, clear water onna table inna shade of the carport, an' the litter boxes are around back o' the shed.

there are quirrsels an' moles inna back an' side yards; you keeps what you kills (an' you DON'T shows it to mommer). (an' brownie points to them who knows whut movie that references.)

an' there's lotsa fresh nip growin' along the back fence; just be descreet, yo?

HAFF A LABOR DAY BALL, FURRIENDS!!

we'll see you on wednesday, presuming we are conscious by then.