OH, THE HORROR!!!

*WAHHHHHHH!* i am SO ashamed. how could My Mama haf this done to me?

i don't love My Mama so much any more! she is mean, mean, mean. all my floofy goodness is GONE furefur, my flauschie toezies are not flauschie ennymore, my belly is NEKKID, an' i am ugly, ugly, ugly!!!! *sniffle* *WAHHHHHHHH!*

*sniffle* what, Mama? oh, wait; i'm not talkin' to you!! ::presents shaven rump::

what? it'll grow back? oh, goodie! when? MONTHS???? not acceptable!! ::rump again::

no, i won't let you pet me; how could you pet me when i'm so ugly? i'm still beautymous? HAH! lemme see that mirror. hmmmmmmm . . . .

what's sheared velvet? a very spensive cloth that ladybeans think is beautymous? it feels like me?? honest? an' i'm prettier?? an' softer?

oooooh. that feels good; what is it?? ACKKKKKKK! a brush? oh, only petting me, huh? well, ok, but just for a little while . . . . ::time passes:: *gentle snore*

*blink* Mama? i loves you again!! you are my very best Mama! (an' i'm glad the hairs on my pretty hiney don't pull no more.)

MOM HERE . . .

OK, most of you know me and the kitties very well, but for those of you who don't have the benefit of a long acquaintance, before you read xing's story (below) and tomorrow's post:

i want to assure you that i do not (and would NEVER) patronize anyone who would medicate purely for the sake of efficacy. the vet's groomer tried very hard (we know this vet and trust him implicitly, and i spoke with him before the groomer began) not to sedate her, but believe me, it was for the best. she was very matted and had become increasingly unhappy when touched anywhere near the matts, so i know they were pulling and hurting. so we had her shaved.

xing lu is a kitty with an extremely high panic factor. she's very timid, and afraid of everything and every noise (loud or soft) and every movement--even mine. she has no known physical disabilities like blindness, deafness, illness. three years of soft words, lots of petting and loving, lap sitting, feliway (bah! shmeliway), bach flower essences, every food from no meat to ALL meat, no preservatives, etc. etc. ad nauseam, to no avail. she is still a frightened kitty who is comfortable nowhere but in my arms--and yet even I cannot brush her or clip her claws alone.

she's the one my husband found zipped into a soft-sided 12-pack cooler at the side of the road in february 4 years ago. she had no upper left eyetooth when she came to us, but no vet she's ever seen (we've had to change twice in two years because of [1] the first vet's retirement and [2] the replacement vet relocating) has been able to tell whether it was knocked out or whether she was born without it. what her story was up until we got her is a complete blank; was she mistreated? was she abandoned because she was so skittish? did a vindictive significant other choose that way to get back by dumping her? dunno. but she is very loving (and needy) towards humans and doesn't mind dogs very much, though totally uncomfortable with other cats. she has never interacted with the boys--of course, they have wanted to play, and she does not know how. not even with cat toys . . . thrown, wiggled, pulled past her, dangled, etc. . . alone or with me. she just doesn't get the concept. she does, however, respond to catnip, but she is a "mean drunk" and just gets hissier.

if you have any tales of successful strategies with kitties like this, please share them! it hurts me to know that she's not a happy cat, and that is what i have always striven for with our animals.

whatta heck??

yesterday was a day that will live in infamy. i am furry sorry to tell you cats who thought the Groomer place was a nice place: the one I got taken to was N.O.T. -- not at all. it was akshully a room at the v-e-t office, but i haffn't efur been there before this. it was drefful; they poked me all ofur an' stuck me wif a sharp thingy that they said would keep me from gettin' sick. but it hurt!!

then they carried me to anofur room an' i thought My Daddy would be there waitin' fur me, but he wasn't. in fact, i couldn't smell him anywhere!!! i was so scared!!! some silly ladybean thought i wanted to be brushed, but someone furgot to tell her that I DO NOT WANT! so i told her. an' told her. an' she din't listen at all.

i fought an' fought that Groomer bean, but she stuck me wif anofur sharp thingy in mine tushie, an' then i got SOOOO tired i just hadda lay down an' rest. an' when i woke UP, my head ached dreffully, i was all drooly, an' my legs din't work. but My Daddy was there, an' he put me inna pretty brown carrier, an' i went to sleep again. an' then i was at home, in my own rooms. i felt awful, an' i couldn't walk good at all. i kept goin' in circles an' fallin' ofur. he brought me some crunchies, but they din't even smell good to me, so i just stayed unner the bed.

after her day-huntin', My Mama came home an' laid onna floor next to the bed to talk to me, but her words sounded all funny an' i got upset an' ran out from unner the bed--but someone was movin' the walls an' floor, an' i couldn't get anywhere. my legs an' feets was like that wiggly red stuff My Mama eats when she's sick. an' when she came to pick me up, i got furry scared, which is just silly! i tried to run away again onna slippery, tilty floor, an' made it back unner the bed.

this mornin' after they went away to their day hunting, i wobbled out to post this account. i really don't member what happened . . . all's i can tell you fur shure that li'l tiny woofie-shaped devils wif hammers are inside my head right now, bangin' to get out, an' THAT is NOT fun! i dunno how they got in there, but i'm pretty sure it had somethin' to do wif that v-e-t. i know somethin' is wrong here but i can't exactly put my finger on it--but what really scares me is that the boycats are treatin' me furry gingerly, stayin' away an' bein' eferso quiet.

i will post again tomorrow, if i am not deadified. that's how bad my head hurts!!! purr fur me, please, kittyfurriends?

xing is worried:

oh, noes! i hasta go somewheres today--My Mama sez it's a place called Groomers, an' i hasn't efur been there before. she sez alla the knotty furs i won't let her brush will go away, but i am furry worried about how that will happen!!

an' i am furry worried about that new black boycat--My Mama sez he is awful smart: he was borned knowin' alla the bad habbits that nitro hadda work to learn, like drinkin' coffee from My Mama's mug, snatchin' bites of food outta beans' sammiches, flyin' through the air from the stove to the kitchen table, layin' onna the kitchen table as if he was the king o' the cats, an' stuff like that. all of which I would nefur do, because i am a Good Cat.

an' i am furry hissed-off that the new black boycat thinks that MY Mama is HIS mama!! that can't be--she only loves ME best. she tells me i am her furry best sweetest fuzzy girl efurry day!! pooh!

but i am still worried about that Groomer thing . . .

it's me--iggy!!

the big boys sed i could talk to you today (although i don't see nocat anywhere acept them), an' they would help wif the spellin' part. then mama sed she would help wif hittin' the little squares wif squiggles on them, so here i am talkin' to you fur the furst time--me, igmu sapa!

so far, i don't really know what that igmu business is. it's somethin' called a "name", an' the big orange cat sez that it means me an' that i should pay attention when i hear it. the big fat fluffy cat sez not to bother, acause we is kitties, an' that means we can do just zackly whatefur we want, asept when we hear "NO" eifur befur or after it. then we just hasta do zackly whatefur we want anyway, only faster. but i am cornfused acause i think i has ofur names. so far, i has heard sweetbaby, iggums, moo-moo, funnyyoudon'tlookmooish, inky-dinky, an' iglet. what does i do when i hears THEM?

an' the hissy-fissy big green-eyed fluffy cat just sez HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS when she sees me. i know what THAT means! geddouttahere!! so i gedout whenefur she sez it, an' keeps a respectful distance. the big boys are nice, though, an' i has already snatched something good-tasting outta the orange one's mouf acause he wasn't chewin' fast enuf, an' i thought i could help him. he din't bite me; i fink he was surprised. we both tried to help daddy eat his suppers, but he wouln't let us. later he put crunchies in our dishes, an' we all got full bellies. then the big orange guy let me sleep wif my head on his hinder end when we were on mama's lap after suppers. but i'm not sure he really knew i was there. maybe he did. he saw me when we both got up at the same time to vestigate the smell of mama's ice cream, an' he din't hiss at me when we got to the dish.

there's a REALLY BIG brown kitty here, too, but i don't like the way he smells (an' his mouf is bigger than the whole me), so i hisses my feroshusest hiss at him, an' he stays away. i'll get to know him later. the orange kitty sez he hopes it's MUCH later.

mama sez she has already tole you about how she come to take me home, so i won't tell it again. it was pretty asitin', i will tell you THAT! but i will show you now how good i can press the square things wif squiggles, an' she isn't gonna hafta do it for me next time, i betcha:

xqqqqq33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333swwwwwwwww

see?

anyway, i'm tired now an' mus' go nap for a while; mama gave me more crunchies, an' i hadda eat 'em fast acause the big boys wanted them, too. g'bye fur now.

mom's side of the story, part the final

SUNDAY: at 5:00 a.m. i heard edmund singing for breakfast, which is a little odd, since it is always nitro who sounds the chow call. nitro had been acting a little weird the previous two days to The Arrival, and been unable to keep food down when given his antibiotic, so tom's gotta call the vet tomorrow to ask about that. but so far, he and the kitty have been nose to nose several times, with only minor hissing from nitro, so we hope this doesn't stress him into further problems. timing here could have been better! at any rate, i fed & played with mr. kitty, and put him back into the cage, and headed back to rack up some more zzzzzzzs.

at 8:45, i re-arose from the (temporarily) dead, went into the living room, and there sat tom with the kitty on his lap. he said to the kitty, "there she is, that mean ol' white woman who left you out with the lions and the wolf! i wouldn't talk to her if i was you!" "what?" sez i. "he was out here runnin' around when i got up!" sez he. i must not have gotten the latch on the cage set perfectly, and the li'l feller had been at liberty between 5:30 and 8:15 when tom got up. but he was unperforated and in good spirits. the boys were nearby; xing was still in her two rooms;`1``0------------9\\\\\\\\00000 (guess who, typing) and cocoa was in tom's chair, studiously ignoring the kitty on the floor.

in the early afternoon, we made the weekly wal-mart run with him loose in the house, and still no bloodshed. we think this might work out. xing is all hiss and no bite, and cocoa has been begging to stay outside most of the day (although it IS a gorgeous day), so we think she will not offer him violence as long as he is small (and a relatively unknown quantity). i suspect that he'll hand her more than a snootful of claws when he gets bigger and she tries to roughhouse him like she does nitro, who never offered more than token resistance.

please purrr and prrray for a successful and healthy integration of kitteh and family!!! he's already got the hang of the "big boy potty box". he eats like a feral, diving face-first into anything that smells edible, even if it happens to be in your hand at the time, a la nitro. and yes, he got his first taste of the dreaded squirt bottle this morning while rummaging through the dishes in the sink. sadly, while it got his attention and persuaded him to exit, stage left, he was quickly back for an encore. and another. and another. *sigh*

oh yes: in honor of his uncle steven (who is lakota), his name is Igmu Sapa (IGmoo SAHpah), "black cat" in the lakota language. tom's calling him iggy, and i refer to him as moo-moo, with further variations to come, i am sure.

mom's side of the story, part the first

if you hasn't been following the story, please go back to here and start at the beginning.

THURSDAY (8/20/09): the black kitty? i really didn't mean to; i really tried not to. i really, really, did! but last thursday the guys at work kept the back door open for ventilation, this little kitty-guy wandered in (we dunno how much before he was first heard crying), and when they spotted him in the warehouse, four grown men couldn't catch him. (you must understand that there are no homes around our building; the railyards are at the back, a c-store to the west and an electrical supply place on the east. very busy street out front, and nearest inhabited homes about a block away on the other side of the street.

so up the 14 stairs he scooted and at the ONE place in the whole building where the gap in the walls is exposed, down he zoomed and vanished. we don't know if he fell or managed to climb on something. at any rate, he was soon heard yelling at the top of his cons bbbbbbb (helpful little kitteh types, too) considerable lungs. they guy were busy on a build that was to go out the door on friday, so it took a while for them to get to the wall business. in the late afternoon, they blocked access to the largest part of the room under the stairs, sawed the hole, and constructed a one-way door over it so he couldn't go to ground back in the wall. i got a can of cat food from the c-store next door (where they had had a crying kitty the day before, but caught it and turned it over to (shudder) "animal control". i left the can in the room with a small pan of water, and went home with heaviness in my belly and fear in my heart.

FRIDAY: but the next morning, there was the little wild thing sitting on a shelf, spitting and screaming and swearing (where DO they learn such language so early?). i couldn't lay hands on him because of the tight quarters and my arthritic legs and hips (he was far back on the bottom shelf behind a stack of heavy parts), so i had to leave him there after replenishing the water and mopping up all the poop generated by a whole can of friskies (and, probably, fright). i called everyone i could think of, and of course, cat people have cat people as friends, and they were all "maxed out". i took a tip from the c-store cashier and tried the gal in the hair salon across the street. she said, yes, she wanted one, but her b.f. said no; she promised to ask some of her clients, though.

about 3 pm, i tried again to pick the little feller up, and finally succeeded (after falling into the shelf on the way to standing up). i scruffed him and held him to my chest, and he just melted; started to purr. THIS was a feral??? more and more, i think that he and his littermate (and maybe others) might have been dumped over the fence between us and the railyard. in the late afternoon the hair salon gal and the b.f. came in and she squeeee'd and he appeared to be softening (they already had 2 cats) until he looked under the tail and pronounced him a "she" and he wasn't havin' no kitten factory in HIS house. she went away almost as sad as i was; but after an hour, she called and said that one of her clients who lived out on a farm was coming in on monday and said would take "it" to live with the other barn cats. well, ok. i felt better. but not right, not good enough. i called tom and said to find the large cat carrier, that we'd have a weekend guest, and explained. loooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggg silence. "ok." *ffffweeew!* i thought he'd blister my ear or stroke out, or both, but he didn't.

we equipped the cage with folded towel to sleep on, dish of water, dish of food, tiny litter box: he seemed to know what to do with all of them. he hollered as long as he could see me, but shut up after a while when i left the room, and all seemed well. the boycats had sniffed in my direction as i brought him in, but didn't say anything. we left him overnight so the others could sniff at him if they wanted to, but i don't know how much, if any, of that occurred. at one point, i screwed up my courage, and asked if we couldn't PLEASE keep him; tom looked surprised and said, "i kinda figured that was what was gonna happen." *faint* *thud* *faint sound of sphincter unpuckering*

SATURDAY: i got up early and called the vet (ours was out of town, but they recommended one nearby, and was gratified to be worked in at 9:15). off we went, and the vet reported that this was indeed a boy (tom called it right), he had no ear mites, his eyes were clear, his mouth looked pink and healthy, she couldn't hear his heart and lungs for the purr-motor working overtime, he had precious few fleas, and was negative for FeLV *hosanna*. got his first kitten shots, and i went home with another $100+ free cat.

we never saw the other kitties lurking around the cage all saturday long. we let him out several times on the desk next to the computer to eat and drink and play (he had upended the water overnight and saturated his little cardboard potty box), and then locked him back up.

in the evening for a while, we brought him into the living room on our laps and there was some more minor hissing again, but funniest of all--cocoa is terrified!!!!!!!!!!!! she was actually shaking with fear when he swiped a paw at her big, intrusive nose, and would not re-approach him. xing, of course, didn't want anything to do with him, and griped and hissed and b!tched the whole time she was out there, so (to her delight) we returned her to her 2-room suite.

little guy was returned to his cage, and we all settled in for a long night's sleep.

. . . to be continued

we has a WHAT??????

our momma (who has lied to us MANY times befur) sez we has a new brofur!!! there is a little black ratty lookin' thing (sorry, to our rattie furriends) runnin' around here. it kinda looks like a cat, an' kinda smells like a cat, an' kinda feels like a cat . . . an' kinda acts like a cat. well, ok, it acts an awful lot like a cat--but it's awful small, an' about as hissy as xing-xing. (who, incidentally, pronounced a GREAT. BIG. HISS. on the whole subject, an' cannot be reached for further comment). we has sniffed it, an' only hissed a little, but then again, xing don't like ennycat. not even us.

does this mean we's gonna hafta share our mom an' dad?? what's wrong wif us that they think they need anofur meower?? oh, we know mom sez the kitty was trapped inna wall at her day-hunting place, an' uncle steven an' uncle james cutted a hole inna wall for him to climb out, but we dunno how a kitty could get inna wall inna furrst place! an' why did she think she hadda bring him HERE once he came out to get the can of foods she left for him?? (an' she sez he nommed the WHOLE can ofurnight; we don't see how ennycat so small coulda ate that much wifout asplodin'. we fink that's anudder lie.)

there's only so much mom an' dad to go around, an' we fink we should haff a say in if he stays or not!! we ain't so sure about this guy; we know fur sure xing votes no, but the jury's still out on us an' the dbd . . . stay tuned. if we lets him stay, maybe we'll let him blog tomorrow.