Captain Meow Fang’s Articles
Signed 19th September 2011
Articles of Agreement made, concluded, and agreed upon this nineteenth day of September in the third year of the Reign of our Sovereign Lord and Lady, Barack and Michelle, Between and Amongst the Cats of the Cat Blogosphere, and divers members of other amenable species aboard the good ship Cat o’Nine Tails, its Captain Meow Fang and crew, and the rest of the vessels which sail with them, further known as The Flotilla: We here have Severally and Joyntly Subscribed our Names and affixed our signs to those Presents as followeth:
Whereas the said Capt Meow Fang and the Rest of the ships Company and accompanying flotilla are now intended out on a voyage to Sea. Now those presents Witness that all parties and ship owners, for themselves their heirs and assigns doth Covenant, Promise, Grant and Agree to these items below:
ITEM THE FURRST: that the ships of the Flotilla shall be well and Sufficiently outfitted, Tacked, Equipped and Apparelled for a sea voyage, and the Company shall agree to and shall sail on such Voyage or Expedition as the said Meow Fang and Company shall think fit for the Best advantage of the flotilla.
ITEM: that whatsoever interest, profit or Advantage As Green Papers, Dishes, Goldfish, Sparkle Balls, Catnip, or any Toys, Wares, Merchandizes or Vessels or other matter or thing whatsoever that shall be found, Taken, Gotten, had or Recovered at any time or place or in any manner during the whole term of the voyage or Expedition shall be shared and Divided as followeth (That is to say): That all maimed cats of the said Company that shall be Disabled in the true service of the Voyage to the Apparent hindrance of getting their future Livelihood, before any Dividend shall be made to others, he or she or they shall have & Receive Eight hundred pieces of Kibble, or the true Value thereof it so much shall be gained, received, or procured in the said voyage.
ITEM: provided that if any crew Member of The Cat o’Nine Tales, in time of fight or in Acting or in doing for the Good of the said voyage he, she, or they Losing of a Joynt or Joynts they shall have and receive one hundred pieces of Kibble for each Joynt so Lost. This be not including the tail, for which they shall have and receive five hundred Pieces of Kibble an’ the sincere regrets of the Captain.
ITEM: that all plunder that did belong to the said prize or prizes Company Excepting Green Papers, Dishes, Goldfish, Sparkle Balls, Catnip, or any Toys, Wares, Merchandizes Whatsoever that shall be found, Taken, Gotten, upon Dock or between Docks or in the Cabin shall be free Plunder Equally to be Divided amongst the members of said Flotilla.
ITEM: it be further agreed that the Captain Meow Fang shall Next have and Receive Nine full common shares; the Commander shall have two and a half like full shares; the master shall have one and a half like full shares. The Sea-Vettie conditionally (That is) his or her Chest be well fitted with Meddysins and Auntie’s Biotiks and that he or she give Due attendance on all the said company as need shall require throughout the said voyage and for the term of one month if need be post-Expedition, shall therefore have and receive all Chyrurgeons (?) Instruments ::shivver:: and Meddysins properly Belonging to any Vessell taken, and also one hundred pieces of Kibble towards his Chest over and above his full share in Common with the said company.
ITEM: that all Disbursements shall be dully pay`d for according to agreement before any Dividend be made of the first Green Papers or goods taken as they or their Orders shall think most meet to the Advantage.
ITEM: that all and Singular the Whole Remaining part of the produce profits and Issues of the said voyage without any fraud or Concealment shall be shared and Divided amongst the said Company part & part alike, and ashore any of them shall Die or be shared and Divided amongst the said Company part & part alike.
ITEM: that whomsoever of the said Company shall first Spy a saile and the same prove to be a Prize sufficient to make them a Voyage he shall Therefore have one hundred pieces of Kibble or the Value at the choice and Appointment of the Command and the Major part of ye Company and free Entrance into the Prize.
ITEM: if any of the said Company shall During the said voyage force or Ravish any girlcat or Ladycat then he or they shall lose his or their whole share as aforesaid, and be punished at the Capts and the Companys Discretion.
ITEM: that if any Cat of the said Company shall in time of service be so influenced by toona joose or the like & incapable that he does not fight and withstand the Enemy then he or they shall be Cut off or punished according as the Capt and the Major part of the Company thinks meet.
ITEM: that if any of the said Company shall in time of Service During the said Voyage show or prove hisself a Coward then he or they Shall Lose his and their voyage as aforesaid.
ITEM: it is Mutually agreed that the full and true performance of these present Articles and every clause herein Contained each of the parties subscribed hereunder bindeth him and themselves. In Witness whereof, all the said parties to these Articles have set there paws the day & year first above Written.
Signed Sealed and Delivered in the Presence of us
Meow Fang
Nitro the Nasty
Xing the Slice
Igmu, Hell's Own Imp
