Adventures of four kitties of disparate backgrounds (Nitro S Pierce, Xing Lu, Igmu Sapa, & DammitJim) residing in one house with two 2-leggers (Dad & Mommer) and a lesser 4-legger (dog Cocoa). Oddly enough, all 4-leggers share the first name, "DAMMIT!" (One moreso than the others.)
you furriends know that i don't post very much here, 'cause mostly i'm asleep, as a geezer cat should be. but i wanted to share my quiet catsmas with you, so you can see it's not only a holiday for the young and loud.
although the tabletop our catsmas tree sits on is not a primo nap size, i did manage some sitting-up, slit-eyed naps there while i guarded it from the brown dog and nitro, the two most likely to destroy it. they both had pretty good manners this year. maybe mom will try putting up the big tree again next year! (note to self: remind her!!) as i move on towards extreme geezerhood, sometimes i surprise myself by allowing close contact--not only with the younger meowers (you will notice that i am letting nitro rest his cheek on my very tail!!), but with the humans. i frustrate them constantly by sitting on their laps when they request it, but not ever stretching out like the others do.
here, however, i did accord mom the signal honor of lying along her legs for almost 15 minutes. frankly, i love them dearly, but dad's just too bony and mom's too wiggly for my old bones to settle down on for any length of time. although that hissy young girlcat says mom's lap is pretty cushy; but you have to fold yourself for that, and my hinges don't bend like they used to.
and this is the most favoritest present i can remember ever getting (besides primo nip, which we got plenty of, too)! we got two of them, and i have claimed this one for MY OWN. i am the OLD CAT, and i can have whatever i want. mom said so. i won't get out for any of the other meowers, and gave the blonde dog a noseful of claws when she stuck her head inside and woke me. i feel bad about that; she doesn't ever bother me, and i think she was just wondering what all the fuss was about this new tent. i can see why the meezers and skeezix and all you other kitties have raved on and on about them!
i hope that all you geezers and geezerettes had quietly splendid holidays, and that time will flow softly and sweetly for all of us in the coming year.
you asked for it, here it is--night 'n' day for our li'l charlie brown tree. even mom calls it that now; if so many kitties think that's what it is, it must be so!!
we're glad mom's posting this today-- tomorrow morning is the "morning after the night before" (beans: remember shelley berman?), that is to say, after her company's holiday party. an' there's no tellin' what time she'd get it posted on friday>;-D))
(well, snoopervising from the window, that is.) we got her to hang more sparklies onna li'l tree. if you biggify it, you can even see that the lights are on. it was just startin' to snow when she took the picture. she's peevish acause we din't get the 5"-10" of snow the man inna talking box promised.
when we mentioned that the tree looked like the one we saw onna talking box wif her about the boy named charlie brown . . . well, "peevish" don't beginta cover it! so we are bein' extra careful about who we hiss at an' are refrainin' from smackin' the brown dawg for a couple of days, an' snugglin' extra so she forgets that we insalted her tree.
we just kinda gots "into a mood" the ofur night an' this song came spillin' out. it's sorta "nightmare before catsmas" meets "up onna housetop". you maybe wanna read it yourselfs before lettin' the younger kits read the first part onna counta it's kinda scary! but it does teach that being prepared is a good thing!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Up onna housetop, the reindeers pause, Scratchin’ an’ scrabblin’ wif vishus claws, Hunting the tender yung joosy cats, Red-eyed an' wearin' their santa hats.
CHORUS: Oh, no, no! We wouldn't go, Oh, no, no! Not wif reindeers, no! Up onna housetop oh so slick, We ain't gonna fall for no reindeer trick!
Out hops the fat man and down he goes, Laden wif toys an’ treats an’ bows, But the reindeers are plotting something mean: They’ve got visions of cats dressed as cuisine!
They leap for the chimbly and try to dive Down to the front room where kitties hide, Snortin’ an’ stampin’ ‘cause they won’t fit-- Antlers too big--so they hafta quit.
Jumpin’ off the roof, they land on their toes An’ they tippy-tippy-tippy to a window that glows Wif the light of the catsmas tree so gay An’ a glimpse of some sweet li’l cats at play.
Now they tippy-tippy-tippy to the tinseled door An’ let themselves in, tippy-tippy some more, Sneakin’ down the hall—just a little clatter— But the sharp-eared kitties begin to scatter!
Now Santa has flown up the chimbly tall-- He sees no sleigh an’ is just appalled. The reindeer advance on the kitties small. . . Oh, noes! It could be the end of ‘em all!
But these kitties are smart, they’re all prepared (If the deers had known, they’da nefur dared). Behind all the chairs an’ the sofa wide The cats just bide their time and hide.
The reindeer come snoopin’ to see what’s what, An’ the kitties let loose wif some powerful stuff! The deers make a beeline right out the door-- Soaked with Mao & Rocky’s VDR!
The reindeers fly off wif no backward look An’ the fat man his mittened fist he shook. He slides off the roof and looks mighty glum Then walks to the street an’ sticks out his thumb.
The kitties cry out, “Oh Santa, noes! “C’mon back in an’ thaw your toes. “We’ll share our temptations an’ milk wif you, “We’re good little kitties, you know that’s true.”
So the fat man sits down an’ enjoys a treat An’ skritches each kitty tumblin’ ofur his feet. He is warm and so happy he got to stay, But now it is time to be on his way.
He calls Mrs. Claus for the backup sleigh (Not pulled by deers but by horsies grey). As he mounts to the sky, all the kitties hear, “Happy Catsmas to All—and no deer next year!!!"
mom finished the decorating last night! nelson snoopervised (nappervised, we mean) the hanging of the stockings that mom knitted about a million-billion naps ago (almost 30 years!!!).here's our catsmas tree, which isn't as much fun as the big one we can climb, but at least there are some ornaments on it this year, an' our very own catsmas stockings are hung behind it!this nutcracker is one that mom & dad gave to grampa in chicago along time ago. he had a display of about 20 nutcrackers that he called "the croatian army" (he's croatian). now he's in a nursing home an' can't haf stuff like that ennymore acause some of the more confused residents would help 'em get mislaid. they've heisted his glasses twice, his clothes disappear from his closet, etc etc--he's even found someone else in his bed a time or two, not that (at 94) he would care in any meaningful way--so we reinherited this guy.here is mom's nativity set that great-gramma an' granpa an' the aunties gave her when she was a kid. it was made in italy, an' is out for the first time since ed came to live wif us--he had an unhealthy interest in it . . . now we has this nice glass case it can live in. mom hopes you likes the flash/christmas star. she worked hard to get it centered just right!an' this is mom's saint nicholas that her gramma gave her on st nicholas day (6 december) when she was six. it had chocolates inside it then, now it has temptayshuns. ALSO behind glass, drats. (an' yes, mom admits she's a lousy housekeeper, as evidenced by the smeary mirror. she sez, "deal with it!")
ST NICHOLAS DAY MASSACRE????oh, woe! there is a crime scene right down at the end of our street!! mom sez she saw santa, a angel, an' frosty the snowman there last night, but this afternoon--oh WOE!--this is all that's left!! did some wicked bean steal their bodies? why would they leaf their clo'es behind? did some aliens suck out all their innards? what happened here? can the CCSI team or somekitty figger this all out? what happens if santa doesn't come back???? *gasp* WILL CATSMAS BE CANCELLED?????
this golden rose was given to us by the lovely miss peach at her afternoon tea yesterday. it was a surprise birthday party for her mom! we had lotsa fun, lotsa food, an' some embarassment when ed broke a window by burping too loud. (it's ok, we're sending someone to mend it tomorrow. can't take him anywhere!) aside from that, it's the nicest afternoon we've spent in a long time, an' we thank her furry much for trusting us in their beautyful victorian cottage, an' for making it such a delightful party. she is truly the hostess with the (genteel) mostest!! kisses, miss peach!!
our little maple tree got dressed up for catsmas this year (you can biggify it)! My Mommy sez it's a work in progress, that as she finds more sparklies that she thinks will be ok outdoors, she will add them to it.
unlike last year's tree, it has ornaments on it, but we don't have any more access to this one than we did that one. darn brown dog. My Mommy sez she will try to get a picture of the tree lighted up, but it'll depend on when My Daddy gets the big orange stenshun cord outta the barn so it can get hitched up to the lectrical juice. what does that juice taste like, anyway? is it like tuna juice? ed told me it has a real kick to it, an' if i lick the little plug-goes-here-inna-wall place, i'll find out, but he also told me that catfish was kitties an' i was a cattibal for eatin' it, so i don't trust him anymore.
when mom came home for lunch yesterday, we waited patiently, as always, to be fed. we were well-behaved, as always!oops! nitro's caught stalking the wild turkey-slice!! (photo's a little smeary--photographer reaching for schpritz bottle)
oops!! another stalker!!! (at this point, ed departed the table--he saw the schpritz bottle.)
nitro was brave even while staring into the cannon's . . . errrrr . . . schpritz bottle's mouth! (left lower corner) he took what was coming to him, no excuses. (xing doesn't get schpritzed; she's already skittish enough.)
then came detente, even between sworn enemies nitro and xingxing, since there was turkey gravy on offer to seal the deal.
(ed and nels opted for private dining facilities in the window nook.)
thank each an' efurry bean an' kitty for leavin' kind comments an' condolences on our post about cousin bradley. they sure made us an' mom feel better. an' we're sure his mom an' dad an' fambly (specially his gramma bean an' auntie colie) feel better knowing that youse guys are understanding and supportive. that's THE furry best thing about bein' with youse in the kitty blogosphere!
we found out yesterday that our woofie cousin, bradley, went to the rainbow bridge. he was a furry nice, well behaved woofie wif a really silky coat. our mom helped us make this picture to remember him, but she din't get it buzzackly how she wanted it, acause she was so sad about bradley that she wetted the keyboard until she was afurraid it'd short out. you kin biggify it to see better. we sends our purrs an' headbonks to bean cousins pam an' bob, an' bradley's bean brofur, scott an' his fambly.
nope. not us. we dunno WHO dun it, mom. maybe that little see-through feller from the family circus toon, mr. "not me". yup. yeahhhhhhh, that's the ticket. WE would NEFUR fight an' roll around on the counter an' knock the ceramic owl mug onto the quarry tile floor. at 3 ayem. inna morning. nefur. not us. nope. you din't see any of us out there when you staggered out, barefoot an' squinty-eyed, didja? see? it COULDN'TA been us. we wasn't even there. nope. not us, mom.
howcome ya din't get a photo of the destruction? maybe you woulda got a picture of that "not me" guy on film! huh? you hadda clean up the pieces before you could get to the camera, an' you'd be dipped in WHAT before you spread them all out again just to take a picture? that's not furry nice langwidge, mom.
we is furry proud of the discofurry team! they has a lady bean for a boss!!! mom sez that's one small step for a woman, one big leap for womankind! the captain-lady likes to nickname her crew members, so after we attended a briefing by her, we took some names we thought she'd like: Nelson La-Po, Sir Edmun-Do, Nitro-NO-NO!, an' Xing Lo.
(ok, we had a li'l help from the nice furs an' beans at zoolatry. an' they made the nice picture of us at the briefing, an' gave us the pretty patch!) they are SO artsy an' helpful!!! mom's head has almost sploded from makin' the peace globe, an' she'da nefurr got anything this nice done for the discofurry's return! THANKS, zoolatry tribe!!
we saw the meezers, sammy & miles, inna distance, but they were riding on cap'n pambo's shoulders, so we din't get to talk to them. hometown boys gets ALL the perks;-)
we is proud to help represent all bloggin' kitties (an' there are many of us!!! check us out!!--there are even woofies, too!) in this blogblast for peace.
we is just like human beans. mostly all we wants is enough food an' clean water; warm, peaceful naps; an' a safe place to stay. then we is satisfied, an' more likely not to fight wif one anofurr. (well, OK, a little catnip doesn't hurt.)
so please, you beans who is readin' this--help ofurr beans an' all ofurr creatures all ofurr the world to achieve this by donating time, green spending papers, your helpful ideas, an' anything else you can think of to better their situations. just little things, cumulatively, will do it. this is the first, best step towards world peace. YOU CAN DO IT! WILL YOU????
all the 4-leggers are sleeping! that's xena the woofie out near the noise-box, and the dark blob onna floor between the recliners is cocoa. nelson is actually sleeping, we believes. he doesn't like to lie down on beans or chairs. (well, maybe onna chair if no one else's in it, an' maybe sometimes he'll park his toosh on a lap an' cling to the chair arm, but this is just too populated for him to be comfortable. mom filmed this on sunday evening, pretty much too late to post, so here it is on movee monday!
an' allow us to say, we LOVE uploading directly through blogger!! it's the bee's knees!!
ergo, cats who already behave like they're on crack get caffeinated. cats get crazier. mom gets craziest! (especially when thinking of all the times she's turned her back for a second to get the toast [like now], and blithely slurped down the rest of her coffee after sitting back down. feh.)
bless you, miss peach, our sweet angel! we is purrin' an' purrayin'!
Our good furriend ramses nominated us for the Cherish meme in honor of Ms. Peach, so here it is:
1. when mom comes home for lunch today, we will swarm her when she sits in her recliner, an' cover her up to be warm. she has been chilled all weekend, 'cept when daddy made a fire in the stove on saturday for a while. so we will be her warming bottles, an' purr her into a nap. nels will sit by her left arm an' pat her gently, an' ed will keep the top of her head warm as he grazes in her hairs from the top of her chair. so we will literally "chairish" her!! 2. there will be plenty o' huggin', especially from edmund, who LOVES to snuggle in her hairs while holding her head in place by huggin' her neck. an' she will hug him back real hard, 'cause she says he is her firstest "very own" kitty who loves only her an' not dad too (much). of course, xing will contest that with a few hisses. 3. we tags skeezy an' psyko trip! 4. we is just waitin' for that door to open, an' the hugfest will begin . . . well, after she lets the woofies out to pee, an' we can be uninterrupted!!
here are the rules of the Cherish meme: 1. tell us what is the most sweetest warm thing you will do to your mommy (what is the sweetest thing that your kitty will do to you) 2. And, hug your mommy, tightly... (and, hug your kitty....tightly...) 3. Tag your good friend... 4. Leave your computer, and continuing hug each other...
does you all member the dismal, wretched ice storm we had inna ozarks last january? some folks has put the remains to good use:said one of the people involved: " . . . the total piece is not finished. [The artists] still have to paint the tips of the cut limbs and varnish the outer surface of the entire tree. The meat cleaver is not heavy and will not fly out of the tree . . . . It is made of welded steel for structure and filled with fiberglass. It is bolted to four thick limbs and is anchored with cables that are not obvious to a passing viewer/car. As for other seasons that pass by, this large environmental sculpture may take on some 'fun decorations' . . . maybe some lights at Christmas. Who knows? This sculpture is for people who have a great sense of humor, imagination and whimsy in their lives."
that's OUR kind of art! sorta macabre, but hurts no creature.
we begs pardon of anyone who is tender an' gentle an' well-bred. they will be offended by our coarse langwidge and bloody thoughts in this post, but we gots to say it or burst. please don't read further if you don't know the 4-letter word for intercourse that isn't "talk".
this is in regard to the recent posting on the cat blogosphere re: a report of an "artist" who starved a woofie to death as an "art piece". allow us to say, WHAT THE F**K?!?!? there are already millions too many critters dying efurry year from neglect--did there need to be one more?? deliberately????
our mom cried for half a hour an' hurled a hairball wifout no hairs in it, after she read the report an' signed the petition. she hadda go home from work early acause she was raging mad by then. she hollered quite some. we hasn't seen her this mad, efurr. an' when she splained why, we got even madder. we may may be housecats, but there are thousands an' hunnerts of thousands of killers in our collective kitty-consciousness, an' by bast, they're stirrin'! nunna them efurr saw any need to murder somethin' just to watch it die.
we wanna find this guy an' lock him inna box an' let him starve. nuts to that "turn the other cheek" stuff for . . . we almost said "beans" but this ain't no human . . . creeps like this. we just pure an' simple want him dead, an' we ain't sorry for sayin' it. that woofie din't do nuthin' to deserve that death, but the "artist" DID!
we knows we prolly won't find him to lock him up an' starve him, but we puts the curse o' sekhmet (Avenger of Wrongs, oh, Great Scarlet Lady!) on him. she'll eat his liver. wifout fava beans or chianti.
we is ROYALLY PISSED OFF and want to go to war. biting, hissing, slicing, rending, shredding . . . the furniture better look out tonight!!!
(mom's takin' away the puter now, acause she's afurraid we're gonna start wallering each ofurr around if we keeps on rantin' . . .)
ed & nitro: mom, you isn't goin' day hunting today. we has captured your purse an' keys, an' you can't have 'em back until you pays the ransom: a whole day of snuggles, pettins, cuddles, skritches, lovins an' treatses. it's chilly an' drizzly today, an' we needs extra, extra comfort.
mom: boys, so do i, believe me!! wish i could oblige. but who do you think pays for those treatses? me, 'cause i go day-hunting.
boys: ok, we will (draws deep breath) do wifout the treatses. just the snuggles, etc. will redeem your stuff. an' maybe a bite or two of your lunch.
it's a millyun degrees in here, acause the cold-air blower died deader'n a doornail, but nitro still sleeps on his beloved printer for his sunday morning nap. the woofies are panting like mad, an' the sensible kitties are sprawled out on the tile floor in the kitchen -- but not nitro. he will be well done by evening!
rest well, miss jasmine. we will miss you, but are glad to know you are now all comfortable an' wifout pain. we even bets you ain't grumpy no more an' greeted gizzy at the bridge wif a nuzzle an' head bump.
we purrs purrs of comfort to you, mom, an' to millie, too. it's a sad time, but soon only the good memories will remain. bless you both.
we is proud to fly the NBCAM banner, in honor of all the beans who deal wif this disease--specially our bean cousin, naomi, who is recovering nicely from her surgery last week--an' in honor of all our aunties an' gramma. we is PROUD of you, efurrybean, an' hopes someday nocat or bean will hafta post this banner anymore!