21 February 2012
howefur, things climbed into the handbasket when that fathead nitro jumped up onna footpart of My Mama's recliner chair an' layed down inna loaf position. an' he stared at me. wif great big wide-open eyes. an' din't blink. so i stared back. My Mama told him he hadda behave. he stared. i stared. his big fat right paw crept up ofur the blanket fold. i growled. he stared. i stared. My Mama told him to geddown. he din't lissen; he stared. i hissed. his ears airplaned, my ears airplaned, an' then the fight was on. on My Mama's lap!!!!
i was howlin', he was growlin', My Mama was shriekin'. we were grapplin' an' hissin', rollin' an' kickin'!! My Daddy got up outta his chair an' started to come ofur wif his hands extended, but My Mama hollered, "holy [bad werd], don't git in the middle of THAT!!" then an earthquake struck, an' nitro flew off the chair, an' i scrambled ofur to the side table, tremblin' an' hissin'. (My Daddy sed it sounded like a snake pit inna livin' room.) My Mama picked me up an' held me close an' talked nice, so i calmed down but kept hissin' at nitro acause HE. WAS. STILL. STARIN'. from his perch behind the other chair. so My Daddy lobbed a boot at him, an' he finally ran into the kitchen. (nitro, not My Daddy.)
finally, My Daddy opened the door to my suite of rooms an' i ran as quick as i could to the safety of my heated, hooded catcup, an' i din't come out again all day. i'm sorry i punctured My Mama a very little as i took off for the floor, but she nefur clips my hind claws so it's really her fault. anyway, i'm sorry.
so now you see what i hafta put up wif. i don't wanna fight wif the boys, i just want them to leave me alone in sole possession of My Mama's lap sometimes. is that so much to ask??