21 May 2012

cat crime whodunnit

at some time between bedtime last night and o-dark:thirty this morning, a crime was committed. the horrifying scene was discovered by an off-duty, barely awake crime-scene photographer on the early feeding shift. (o-dark:thirty, remember--hence the non-quality of some of the pictures.)
the scene: cabinet high atop pantry cabinet adjacent to cold-box storage. note the two bottles injured in the fray. fortunately, no leakage occurred.

victim 1:  found lying at the base of the pantry cabinet, 5' below the door of his home.
victim 2: found halfway across the kitchen; shared address with windex.
victim 3: another roommate of the two other vics. dragged bodily to the computer room, viciously ripped open, bitten severely, and completely eviscerated!! every scrap of his innards was gone!

suspects one and two: the bash brothers, aka ed and nitro. ed has a prior conviction for picking open a cabinet door, which crime was documented on film. nitro is known to be ruthless when lusting for cheese--even cheese-dust or crumbs.
suspect 3: igmu sapa, layin' low, up high. known to have an affinity for high places.
 a vigorous inspection of whiskers and paws followed immediately upon discovery of the crime, but results were inconclusive.

a known associate of the three, the dbd (aka cocoa), was positively excluded from suspicion, having been locked in the bedroom with the photographer and the photographer's husband during the period in which the crime occurred.

local law enforcement is stumped, so we put it to you, cat bloggers--



Katnip Lounge said...

Holy COD. It look like a booze bottle nearly bit it, too! Now that would have been a DISASTER.

The Meezers or Billy said...

Nicholas FuzzyPants.

Gemini and Ichiro said...

Yeah--we think it was Nicky FuzzyPants too...

Oui Oui said...

Haha! We were gonna say Mica Minnie Moo! We had a crime similar to this and foolishly, she returned to the scene. So, she is a known criminal with a long record.

We'll say Igmu Sapa just cause we like his name.

GLOGIRLY said...

No cheeze dust residue???
This is going to be hard to solve.
WAIT!!! Certainly there must be a dog next door.
; ) Katie

meowmeowmans said...

We say it's either Nicholas FuzzyPants. Or Not Me.

Jans Funny Farm said...

Hey, why is Nicky getting the blame? he wasn't even there. It's Bill Sweetfeets that runs out the door and down the street. He could easily have run to MO.

If it wasn't him, we'd suspect the photographer.

Everycat said...

We are disgusted that your beans would try and frame you kitties with this malicious work of total fiction. Clearly those beans are trying to blame you lot for their own sleepwalking misdemeanours. Disgraceful.

The Meowers are INNOCENT!

Oliver, Gerry & Mungo

Angel Prancer Pie said...

HaHaMeow! Looks like I. Dunno has been at your house!

Laura and Taffeta Rose said...

We suspect the three were in cahoots! By that we mean, Idaknow, Notme, and Nobody. It couldn't have been any of you meowers, could it?

Laura & Taffy