meowers from missouri

this is me, xing. literally. (an' litter-ally, too, i s'pose, since my furs are all ofur the floor.) i keep tellin' My Mama an' TELLIN' My Mama that those stinky booger-butt boycats haff it in fur me, an' she has just GOTTA belief me now. besides, it's all her fault ennyway!

i was sittin' in her lap, enjoyin' my well-deserved skritches, when alluvasudden the doorbell rang. i din't freak but i gotted uneasy acause cocoa was barkin' an' barkin'. the boycats, cowards that they are, all ran fur cover behint chairs an' sofas. My Mama putted me onna end table next to our chair, an' promised she'd be right back, that nuffin' would happen since the boys was all hidin'.

she went to the door an' talked wif the man in blue shorts fur a minnit, then came back in, smiled at me an' sed, "see? nuffin' happened. i toldja. now i gotta go to the potty room fur a second, an' i'll be right back again." so she went. it's not furry far away from our chair.

well.

the next thing i knew, ed was stink-eyein' me from right below my perch onna table. i dunno where he was hidin' befur that.  i screamed, ed screamed, nitro hissed, iggy hissed, cocoa barked, an' My Mama screamed an' was glad she was onna potty!

it was obvious she wasn't comin' to my rescue right away, so i jumped down onna floor to run to the door to my suite, but (ascuse me here, but it's called fur) DAMMIT! he sure moves quick fur an ol' fatboycat--he ran, too, an' caught me at the door. he jumped on me an' hollered an' squalled an' clawed an' bited, an' i did the same.

FINELY My Mama came an' stomped her foot an' hollered at ed, an' he slunk off. my little body was tremblin' when she scooped me up an' took me into my suite. she sat onna bed wif me an' hugged an' petted me, smoothed my pretty furs, an' looked fur owies but din't find any. we sat fur a while, talkin' about how rotten my brofurs are, an' then i went an' got in my heated cat cup fur a nap. she tole me she was gonna go out an' kick ed inna tailfeathers fur me, but i dunno if she really did that. i'm just happy that she would, if i asked her to. she's My Mama!