17 December 2007

PG-13 WARNING

we just kinda gots "into a mood" the ofur night an' this song came spillin' out. it's sorta "nightmare before catsmas" meets "up onna housetop". you maybe wanna read it yourselfs before lettin' the younger kits read the first part onna counta it's kinda scary! but it does teach that being prepared is a good thing!!
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Up onna housetop, the reindeers pause,
Scratchin’ an’ scrabblin’ wif vishus claws,
Hunting the tender yung joosy cats,
Red-eyed an' wearin' their santa hats.

CHORUS: Oh, no, no! We wouldn't go,
    Oh, no, no! Not wif reindeers, no!
    Up onna housetop oh so slick,
    We ain't gonna fall for no reindeer trick!

Out hops the fat man and down he goes,
Laden wif toys an’ treats an’ bows,
But the reindeers are plotting something mean:
They’ve got visions of cats dressed as cuisine!

They leap for the chimbly and try to dive
Down to the front room where kitties hide,
Snortin’ an’ stampin’ ‘cause they won’t fit--
Antlers too big--so they hafta quit.

Jumpin’ off the roof, they land on their toes
An’ they tippy-tippy-tippy to a window that glows
Wif the light of the catsmas tree so gay
An’ a glimpse of some sweet li’l cats at play.

Now they tippy-tippy-tippy to the tinseled door
An’ let themselves in, tippy-tippy some more,
Sneakin’ down the hall—just a little clatter—
But the sharp-eared kitties begin to scatter!

Now Santa has flown up the chimbly tall--
He sees no sleigh an’ is just appalled.
The reindeer advance on the kitties small. . .
Oh, noes! It could be the end of ‘em all!

But these kitties are smart, they’re all prepared
(If the deers had known, they’da nefur dared).
Behind all the chairs an’ the sofa wide
The cats just bide their time and hide.

The reindeer come snoopin’ to see what’s what,
An’ the kitties let loose wif some powerful stuff!
The deers make a beeline right out the door--
Soaked with Mao & Rocky’s VDR!

The reindeers fly off wif no backward look
An’ the fat man his mittened fist he shook.
He slides off the roof and looks mighty glum
Then walks to the street an’ sticks out his thumb.

The kitties cry out, “Oh Santa, noes!
“C’mon back in an’ thaw your toes.
“We’ll share our temptations an’ milk wif you,
“We’re good little kitties, you know that’s true.”

So the fat man sits down an’ enjoys a treat
An’ skritches each kitty tumblin’ ofur his feet.
He is warm and so happy he got to stay,
But now it is time to be on his way.

He calls Mrs. Claus for the backup sleigh
(Not pulled by deers but by horsies grey).
As he mounts to the sky, all the kitties hear,
“Happy Catsmas to All—and no deer next year!!!"

27 comments:

Ramses said...

Oh dat's great! :)

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Hahaha, dat will teach dem dumb deer!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

That was just vishus of those deer!!!

ASTOR CATS said...

Good thing those kitties stocked up on vishus reindeer spray! They was ready!

Midnite & Stray Kitty

Daisy said...

I am sleeping with my Vishus Deer Repellunt under my pillow until after Christmas. Just in case.

Tybalt said...

Ha ha ha! Perfect!

The Meezers said...

that's a great song, but now mommy sounds like a screaming cow again

Fat Eric said...

That's genius!

Derby said...

Excellent song. Way to get rid of the vishus deers.

Rocky the Gutter Cat said...

Doods, thanks for the indorsemint!!!!

Skeezy said...

HAHAAHAHAHA!!!! I bet the ranedeer sed "KRAP"!!!!!!!

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

Well done!!!! I love your version.

Latte

cyclone cats! said...

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!! We give it 12 paws up!! That is GREAT!

Phoebe said...

What a great poem and tribute to very smart cats everywhere.

The Crew said...

Oh...wonderful! clapclapclapclapclapclapclap

Very creative. Those kitties were prepared for the worst!

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Heard over at Skeezix's that there was a good song to check out here!!!
Excellent!

Lux said...

:::sound of kitty applause:::

That was great!

Tyler said...

ha, ha, ha, we're all just laufin & laufin!!!!! Well done!

Samantha & Tigger said...

That was great!!! Mom was laughing while she sang it to us!!
Your FL furiends,

DaisyMae Maus said...

That is a splendid song destined to become a holiday classic ... Perhaps Rocky an' Mao can use it as music for their commercials?
DMM

Hot(M)BC said...

Oh my Gosh!!! We laffed so hard bout those vishus deers gettin it!!!! hahahaha!!! That was grate!!!

Ariel said...

Great poem I loved it :)

ML (Mary Lynn) said...

That be a wonnerful poem, just grrreat. me an Missy loves it.
Love & Purrs....
KC & Missy

Victor Tabbycat said...

Oh, gosh! That asplains all the tracks in the snow! I thot it was buns, but... deer! EEEEEEEEE!

Karen Jo said...

I'm laffin' an' laffin' at your reindeer song. It's just great! Merry Christmas!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

HAHAHA! that's the most excellent holiday song EVER! way ta go!!!

Sammawow said...

Oh, that is such a wonderful funny song!

Purrrrrrs, China Cat & Willow