a poopin' PSA frum ed

ed sez:

mommer wishes there wuz a door to close off the kitchen. she sez we is gettin' inta too much trubble in there lately.

but lemme tell you kittehs about a good thing that comes frum there, an' ya don't hafta swipe it!! (in fact, ya can't--it's inside a can, an' you needs opposable thumbs to git at it.) but that's ok--yer beans will giff it to ya wif no complaints. in fact, they'll be GLAD to giff it to ya: it's punkin. canned punkin, but not the ready-made pie fillin', just mushed up plain ol' punkin.

ya see, i had quite some nasty poopin' prollems last week (the "hershey skwerts", as skeezix terms 'em), an' mommer was gettin' really tired of washin' my fluffybutt. I was plenty tired of it, too. she started callin' me names like "stink-a-saurus rex" an' "stinkamundo" an' "godamightyedyouareRANK!" i felt like our relationship was onna downhill turn, but i behaved like the gentlemancat i am, firmed up my tremblin' chin, an' kept myself frum puttin' the bitey onner when she dunked my butt yet again. an' again.

since i din't act like there was ennythin' else wrong (i was eatin', drinkin', purrin', cuddlin' [when she'd let me, dependin' onna state of my pantaloons], bitin' nitro an' iggy, an' sleepin' inna same places) she finely went online fur advice, an' some kitteh's bean mentioned punkin. she went to the store an' got some, an' put a teaspoonful inna little cup fur me, an' a luff affair was borned!!! it was deelishus!! an' i got a spoonful wif all my meals after that--even after i stopped haffin' the runs! in just two days, i was back onna poopin' track. (she tole me she was nefur so happy to see one of my poops outside the box--where i allus poop--as that first one that wasn't a *splort*!)

so i hope if you efur suffer this undignified prollem, you will urge yer beans to remember this post, an' getcha some punkin. not efurrycat will like it, though--my dippy brofur nitro wouldn't touch it wif a stick, let alone his tongue, an' i find that kinda weird, since he's the same color as the punkin!