19 September 2008

anchors aweigh!!

meYARRRRRR! greetin's to ye, brethren an' sistren o' the feline purrsuasion (an' assorted Not of Our Species guests): for them what has not sailed wif us before, i begs to introduce meself: i be nelson john lapurr, more usually known as cap'n nels the cranky. i be recently returned from dry dock wif a diagnosis o' pancake-itis. at least, that be what it sounded like; them scurvey sea-vetties don't speak any tongue a self-respectin' purrate cap'n knows. he sez i must be takin' a daily draught t'get better. tho' me mum thought me inna fair way to see neptune an' the neierids, i be right well enough. i swear by davy jones's belt buckle t' keel haul the next miscreant in a white smock who thinks to get the better o' me an' steal me blood!

this be me good ship, the cat o' nine tails:an' these be her crew:
first mate, chow yung fatcat
nitro the nastyxing the slice

obey them as ye would me in all things, an' we'll bring ye safe ta journey's end!

we be gathered here togefur in a great flotilla on this, our second annyul meow like a pirate day! do we sail to seek our fortunes? what say ye? *ears twitch at a roar of approval* AYE! that be the spirit!! all cats on deck, cast off them lines, an' anchors a-weigh--we be adventure-bound!

*sails boom with wind*

*sea spray fills the air; cats from homes with squirt bottles run for cover*

now, ye may have heard whiskers . . . er, whispers . . . that there be a mighty hoard o' treasure t'be found in them most beautyful of isles, the seychelles:as we sails among the many islets of these waters, let us reflect that on each little island, there be treasure, all right--there be foods efurrywhere!! ye has but to open yer piehole, an' in it will fly!at 'em, me hearties--ye'll get yer fill o' fevvers this day! (our deepest 'pologies to any tame fevvers what sails wif us. the scurvy critters what inhabits this island be obviously much inferior branches of yer fambly trees, an' we all knows deadwood must be pruned;-)

look ye--here be our safe harbour at last!
*cap'n nels calls out:* ahoy, the black furball!! cap'n jack an' sir dante: the watch has spied out a low-life feller skulkin' 'mongst yon rocks at the harbour's mouth--would ye be so kind as to captivate him an' bring him aboard when ye've the time? i'd be much obliged! thank'ee!

lads an' lasses, now that the rabble be cleared away, ye may depart fur the island. remember yer manners, an' avoid poopin' onna beach--there be plenty o' comfort stations 'mongst them trees. we'll be jinin' ye presently.

fatcat, ye sluggard!! trot yer stumps up here wif that map!! aye, there 'tis . . . *squints* what be this here? *pokes a claw into the map*

*a clarion call is heard:* ahoy, cat o' nine tails! we be the ship's boat o' the black furball, an' we be bringin' aboard the prisoner ye bade us capture!


why, shiver me timbers--'tis cap'n jack, his loyal sir dante, an' a near-grown ladcat. ye must be fagin, of whom we've heard tell--only good things, lad, only good things (save that coffee cups be unsafe in yer presence.) a thousand welcomes aboard me ship, me hearties; i scarce thought to be gifted wif a visit from ye in person. delivery of a mere prisoner usually warrants but an oarsmancat an' a marine. will ye jine me in the cap'n's quarters? there's a furry fine vintage tuna juice i'd share wif ye . . .

but first, let's have a look at this specimen ye've brought. i liked him not when i clapped eye on him through the long glass; me thought he had a shifty look about him:yarrrr! an' now i like him no better for the seein' o' him close-like. clap him in irons, an' let him have bread an' water 'til we makes our home port. perhaps wif only bilge rats for company, he'll . . . oh, bugger. i forgot; we be kitties. there ain't no rats on this ship . . . well, then, he'll haf only hisself for company. an' fair enough; even the poor ratties don't deserve that. gentlecats, let's adjourn for a glass or two . . . aye, ye'll jine us, young fagin--by the look o' ye (an' by th' looks ye've been gettin' from the ladycats), ye be old enough now for a nip or two;-)

*time passes, an' cats come an' go to the island, to partake o' the bounteous feast that's laid out on the beach:*



*fatcat an' nitro broach a cask of tuna juice, wander off into the brush, an' are not seen again*

*sun fades, an' the light o' the moon silvers the waves*

*the map skitters away on a vagrant breeze, an' is lost in the whitecaps*

*the cap'n's quarters glow yellow wif lamplight, an' the yowl o' sea shantys has faded til only snores is heard*

*cats ashore an' aboard pile up an' purr an' dream . . . *

WHAT WILL TOMORROW BRING?

(while ye wait, perchance ye'd see what others do on this day of days!)

35 comments:

Diamond Emerald-Eyes said...

Me'arrr, you've got quite the spread there. Good enough to feed the crew of a cruise ship. I might have to take my crew here on the Diamond Cutter and have us a boarding party on yer vessel!

ZOOLATRY said...

Ahoy lads 'n lassies, tis a fine feast you've spread before us...
hoist the sails and man the decks, we are ready!

Gandalf and Grayson said...

Is that a peg-leg-pig?! harrrr!

The Meezers said...

Gar!!!! Ahoy mateys!!! this here be a fine feast for some hungry pirates!

Mr. Tigger said...

Aye, we be coming to enjoy yer fine feast Cap'n Nels the Cranky! Aye, and t' enjoy your company! A pence for an old man o'de sea? Me parrot concurs! Yarrrrrr!!
Cap'n Blood n' Guts

Furkidsmom said...

Aye, that was a super ad'enture on the Cat O Nine Tails Aye. Aye, a super bounteous feast too Aye

Sniffie and the Florida Furkids

Tybalt said...

Arrr, Cap'n! I do be pleasured to be included in yer fine crew. I be bringin' me fierce torties and me doggies to be a part of the grand adventurin' we be doin' this day.

Aye, ye've a grand feast! Much thanks to ye for yer generos'ty, Cap'n!

Karl and Ruis said...

Ahoy mateys! The sea was wild, but we made it, argh!
Aye, what a great feast har and lookin' at all that food makes a pirate hungry Gar. Arrr, whar can we find a bottle o'nip?

Alasandra said...

Gosh you have a lot of yummy food. Who knew pirates ate so well.

Thanks for inviting us,
~Socks, Scylla & Charybdis

Eric and Flynn said...

Garrr Cap'n Nels, tis a mighty fine feast you have here. We have just arrived from blighty in our trusty ship, the Black Claw. We'll get the scurvy varmints who call themselves our crew to bring the barrels of nip rum ashore. Arrr and then fifteen of us will dance on a dead man's chest Garrr and a yohoho.

Jimmy Joe said...

Arrr, mateys, it be a fine day for pillagin'!
Yer buddy, Grog-master Jim

Purrageous Pirates said...

Hail to the Cat o'Nine Tails from the Black Furrball. What a fine day this is to be sailing!! The prisoner is captured and we shall make merry far into the night and weekend what with the grub and grog we have aboard the ships. A finer gathering of fearsome furrballs we have never seen! Keep a weather eye out for the nip boats - we've heard tale that this very island is on the nip trade route and we are ready to pillage and plunder when you are!!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Ahoy, ye haf laid a fin feast fur we pirates...Yarr, we be jinin ye fur tuna grog and plunderin'

Gattina said...

if there is something to eat we storm the ship !!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

Ahoy! We be ready for sailin. The prisoner should be put to work cleaning litterboxes and the bilge deck, the dirty bilge rat.

We brought some tuna grog! Lets pillage a PetSmart!

Milo said...

Ship ahoy! Is that the skull and cross bones of a fellow pirates ship? Yo ho, Yo ho - a pirates life for me!

DaisyMae Maus said...

Pawesome! Bounty AN' Booty!
DMM

DEBRA said...

Ahoy mateys!!
Happy Pirate Day!!


Arrrrrrrrrr
Abby

Lux said...

I'm huntin' down one of them comfort stations!

The Crew said...

Arrgghhhh...ye be lookin' great, matey's. And a lavish spread ye set before us, t' be sure. 'Tis no surprise such a handsome lad as Fagin would catch the eye of the fine ladies!

Lead us to safe harbor, Cap'n Nels and we'll take us a short nap 'afore continuing.

PB 'n J said...

Ahoy me hearties! 'Tis quite the spread for the party! Thankee for having us aboard!

The Black Pearl, Deadeye Jake and Sealegs Bert

Kimo and Sabi said...

Arrrrg! That's one shifty lookin' pirate at da bottom . . . he best be gittin' ready to walk da plank this November!

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Ooooh, that's some feast you pirates are partaking of. We hope you all have a nice after meal nap.

Fat Eric said...

Best. Pirate. Adventure. Ever!

Arrrr! Ye be fine pirates indeed, maties! Avast to ye!

HotMBC said...

Me'Arrrrrrrrr mateys! Tis the grandest plunder ye's had. Fank ya pirates all.

Tiger Lily said...

Ahoy Cap'n Nels! We be meowin' 'n barkin' like funny soundin' pirates today. Thanks fur the invitation t' join ye!

We be hopin' ye get better soon. The daily draught does no sound fun.

Jemima, Zeke, Sushi, Tiger Lily and Ruckus

Getzger said...

Aaarr! Green peas and Duck!!! No finer feast alive for a sick tummied fat cat Aby like me. Much obliged to you all for my special dietary considerations!

Derby said...

Ahoy Mateys. Greetings from the Good Ship Sassycat!

Black Cat said...

Aaaaaarrrrr, great adventures ye be havin' and yummy grub, nom nom! :) xxx

Southbay Girl said...

Wow...what yummy food! And lots of pirate stuff!

We just stopped by to say thanks for very kind words! Our mommy really appreciates it!

Kodak, Winton, 3 Perf, Blossom and mom

China Cat said...

Avast, what a fine pirate spread ye be havin' on this glorious day! Let's set sail for Temptations and Ham!

Purrrs, Mad Charity Bonney aka China Cat

Willow said...

Cat-A-Hoy, what a fine time to be a pirate on this glorious day! Let's set sail for more plunder after yer fine spread!

Purrrs, Calico Bess Rack-ham aka Willow

One-Eyed Jack said...

MeARRRRR! This be a FINE spread! Permission ta grab me a tankard or five o' yer strongest tuna juice? We be sufferin' all day at th' hands o' a treacherous wench!

~One Eyed Jack and Persephone the Pirate Princess

Cap'n Skeezy said...

Yar, whut a harty good night of hornswaggling ye offer! Prepare to be boarded and point me to da ham!

whatloknows said...

That was great!



-wlk crew.