anchors aweigh!!

meYARRRRRR! greetin's to ye, brethren an' sistren o' the feline purrsuasion (an' assorted Not of Our Species guests): for them what has not sailed wif us before, i begs to introduce meself: i be nelson john lapurr, more usually known as cap'n nels the cranky. i be recently returned from dry dock wif a diagnosis o' pancake-itis. at least, that be what it sounded like; them scurvey sea-vetties don't speak any tongue a self-respectin' purrate cap'n knows. he sez i must be takin' a daily draught t'get better. tho' me mum thought me inna fair way to see neptune an' the neierids, i be right well enough. i swear by davy jones's belt buckle t' keel haul the next miscreant in a white smock who thinks to get the better o' me an' steal me blood!

this be me good ship, the cat o' nine tails:an' these be her crew:

first mate, chow yung fatcat

nitro the nastyxing the slice

obey them as ye would me in all things, an' we'll bring ye safe ta journey's end!

we be gathered here togefur in a great flotilla on this, our second annyul meow like a pirate day! do we sail to seek our fortunes? what say ye? *ears twitch at a roar of approval* AYE! that be the spirit!! all cats on deck, cast off them lines, an' anchors a-weigh--we be adventure-bound!

*sails boom with wind*

*sea spray fills the air; cats from homes with squirt bottles run for cover*

now, ye may have heard whiskers . . . er, whispers . . . that there be a mighty hoard o' treasure t'be found in them most beautyful of isles, the seychelles:as we sails among the many islets of these waters, let us reflect that on each little island, there be treasure, all right--there be foods efurrywhere!! ye has but to open yer piehole, an' in it will fly!at 'em, me hearties--ye'll get yer fill o' fevvers this day! (our deepest 'pologies to any tame fevvers what sails wif us. the scurvy critters what inhabits this island be obviously much inferior branches of yer fambly trees, an' we all knows deadwood must be pruned;-)

look ye--here be our safe harbour at last!

*cap'n nels calls out:* ahoy, the black furball!! cap'n jack an' sir dante: the watch has spied out a low-life feller skulkin' 'mongst yon rocks at the harbour's mouth--would ye be so kind as to captivate him an' bring him aboard when ye've the time? i'd be much obliged! thank'ee!

lads an' lasses, now that the rabble be cleared away, ye may depart fur the island. remember yer manners, an' avoid poopin' onna beach--there be plenty o' comfort stations 'mongst them trees. we'll be jinin' ye presently.

fatcat, ye sluggard!! trot yer stumps up here wif that map!! aye, there 'tis . . . *squints* what be this here? *pokes a claw into the map*

*a clarion call is heard:* ahoy, cat o' nine tails! we be the ship's boat o' the black furball, an' we be bringin' aboard the prisoner ye bade us capture!


why, shiver me timbers--'tis cap'n jack, his loyal sir dante, an' a near-grown ladcat. ye must be fagin, of whom we've heard tell--only good things, lad, only good things (save that coffee cups be unsafe in yer presence.) a thousand welcomes aboard me ship, me hearties; i scarce thought to be gifted wif a visit from ye in person. delivery of a mere prisoner usually warrants but an oarsmancat an' a marine. will ye jine me in the cap'n's quarters? there's a furry fine vintage tuna juice i'd share wif ye . . .

but first, let's have a look at this specimen ye've brought. i liked him not when i clapped eye on him through the long glass; me thought he had a shifty look about him:yarrrr! an' now i like him no better for the seein' o' him close-like. clap him in irons, an' let him have bread an' water 'til we makes our home port. perhaps wif only bilge rats for company, he'll . . . oh, bugger. i forgot; we be kitties. there ain't no rats on this ship . . . well, then, he'll haf only hisself for company. an' fair enough; even the poor ratties don't deserve that. gentlecats, let's adjourn for a glass or two . . . aye, ye'll jine us, young fagin--by the look o' ye (an' by th' looks ye've been gettin' from the ladycats), ye be old enough now for a nip or two;-)

*time passes, an' cats come an' go to the island, to partake o' the bounteous feast that's laid out on the beach:*



*fatcat an' nitro broach a cask of tuna juice, wander off into the brush, an' are not seen again*

*sun fades, an' the light o' the moon silvers the waves*

*the map skitters away on a vagrant breeze, an' is lost in the whitecaps*

*the cap'n's quarters glow yellow wif lamplight, an' the yowl o' sea shantys has faded til only snores is heard*

*cats ashore an' aboard pile up an' purr an' dream . . . *

WHAT WILL TOMORROW BRING?

(while ye wait, perchance ye'd see what others do on this day of days!)