12 December 2009

how does i call santy paws?

xing lu sez: my rotten brofur, that moo-moo! he just makes me SOOOOO mad!! i was snoozing away quietly onna sofa inna living room, an' he jumped up an' swatted me whappity-whap-whap on my delicate little pink (outlined in brown) nose. for NO REASON!! i had finely got my courage up to stay out inna living room wifout bein' on My Mama's lap (because there wasn't any room there on accounta her little flat computer), an' even nitro an' fat ed weren't bothering me. but moo-moo? HAH! i hissed a really mean hiss at him, an' he ran off to the kitchen.

shortly thereafter came a crash inna kitchen, and then some drefful language from My Daddy, an' here came moo-moo again, full steam ahead--MY head!! he ran right up the front of the sofa an' up ofur my head. i was so surprised, i couldn't even hiss--so he turned around an' came up and whappity-whapped me again. well, you may just imagine that i hissed him good THEN an' threw in a few loud growls for emphasis.

My Mama threw her shoe to make him go away, an' it scairt him, so HE hissed, an' then I hissed louder, an' pretty soon nitro an' ed were hissin' too. so My Mama hollered, "if i'd wanted a dam snake pit, i'da got snakes insteada cats!! you kin all just quit that racket an' take a time out!!!!" then i hadda go to my room (which doesn't haf a warm stove, but there are two warm blanket-y beds), an' moo-moo hadda sit inna computer room, an' ed an' nitro just skulked back behint the sofa an' stayed outta Her way.

we can't even haf a catsmas tree acause moo-moo finks he's a acro-cat an' My Mama's afurraid he'll swing onna branches an' pull it ofur. i think santy paws should know that my brofur is a furry, furry bad little kitty an' shouldn't get nuthin' fur catsmas. My Daddy even calls him "billy bad@$$"!!

But My Mama sez that santy paws knows efurrything about efurrycat anyways, an' i don't need to be a tattletail. i don't know what that is. i just has a reglar floofy tail. it doesn't make no tattle; at least i've nefur heard or seen any. so i will hope an' purr that's true.

7 comments:

Fat Eric said...

Well, he's only a kitten really. Maybe he'll calm down when he gets older???

My humans are laffin and laffin over the pictures of Ed the neckwarmer. My dad says it's a good thing I don't do that to him or his neck would buckle under the weight. How rude!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Yeah but it's fun to tell on them!

Max said...

I dunno...I'm kinda laughing over here.

It sux you can't have a tree. When Buddah was a crackhead kitten the people used high test fishing line and some eye hooks to fasten it to the wall so he couldn't knock it over. But then he never did, so it was kind of a wasted effort.

We both still played with the ornaments, though :)

Eric and Flynn said...

Hahaha! Sorry but we just can't help laffin, it sounds so funny with all the hissing and the snake pit. We're not as bad as mum though. She wuz laffin fit to bust and her face went all leaky. We thought it wuz leaking cuz she wuz upset for you, but then she yelled to dad,'lissen to this', then she could hardly tell him cuz she wuz still laffin too much.
Your mum's right though, Santa knows who's being good and who's being naughty and everything else that goes on in the world.

The Island Cats said...

Haha! It sounds like a lot of fun at your house!! ;-)

Sweet Praline said...

Sounds like some kitties may get some coal in their stockings.

Anonymous said...

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