meowers from missouri

iggy's in trouble, big time! we KNOW he's not gettin' anyfing fur catsmas. we heard xing whinin' about him pickin' on her, but that ain't what's gonna get him a lump of dog doody in his sock. here's his score so far this week:

monday: grabbed mom's breffust sammich wif a paw when she put it down to get a drink of coffee. then he drank the coffee when she went to get the squirter to shoot him wif. result: drenching

tuesday: knocked dad's ice cream bowl outta his hand when he rushed to get his face in it. result: thwap onna headbone wif a spoon

wednesday: knocked mom's big wood peppergrinder down so dbd could use it as a chewbone. result: nuffin' excep a really potent stink-eye from mom, since she knew it was too late for yellin' an' wouldn't do no good

thursday: grabbed a bite outta mom's lasagna while she was eatin' it. result: fork-thwap onna skull, an' a butt-load of frustration acause he couldn't lick the lasagna residue offa the top of his head

friday: dragged mom's sammich plumb offa the table an' onto the floor while she got the grape joos outta the fridjamerator. result: dbd got a snack, iggy got a swat wif the noospaper

saturday: he got the bread box open an' tunneled his sneaky li'l arm an' paw alla way down to the bottom of the loaf!! dad asked him how he'd like it if HE got toasted inna toaster an' had jelly lathered all ofur him, since there was no breads left fur dad's breffust. we hear mom & dad are gonna keep the breadbox inna microwave frum now on. we finks it might be easier on efurryone if they kept iggy there, instead.

if santy paws really DOES know efurrything efurrykitty does, igmu is s-k-r-e-w-e-d!