the morning after the night before . . .

*the glorious sun smiles brightly on all, ashore an' aboard. kitties stretch an' wash themselves
or whatever part of whomever they can reach*

*the banquet tables are besieged by kitties who has slept LONG past breakfast for the furst time in their lives. if only their beans were here to enjoy it!* *sigh*

*the comfort stations are besieged in the rush of after-brekkie nature calls*

*ears perk as ghastly moans are heard from within the ship . . . be it a ghost? . . . an ofur-fed reveler onna way t'the head? . . . the prisoner, bemoanin' his fate?*

*a dory wif a chastened an' penitent nitro an' ed pulls slowly towards the cat*

fagin bounces brightly from the interior to the foredeck, closely followed by cato no-tail, cabin boykit o' th' cat o' nine tails. given their sprightly actions an' happy manner, neither appears to be the origin o' the moans.

by means o' some long-distance tail signals an' ear twitches, arrangements are made to meet forthwith wif skull-crusher left-eye louie, dana, an' princess isis the woofie at the first clump of trees west o' the rocks to PLAYPLAYPLAY!!!! since wig-waggin' out inna open is seen by all, a good many dories, skiffs, an' all manner o' ship's boats converge on the appointed spot, an' th' junior set be seen no more til late in th' day. PLAYPLAYPLAY!!!

*again, the sorrowful moans split the air*

*time passes*

*the door o' the cap'n's quarters creaks slowly open. cap'n nels (somewhat more
pallid than usual--even his black cap, spot, an' tail seem a bit washed out),
cap'n jack, an' dante creep forth into the sunlight, blinking furiously*

meYARRRRR, cap'n! th' sun be ofur th' yardarm, an' that were th' signal t' scour the island fur th' treasure!!!

ow! xing--shut yer piehole, ye silly git! d'ye haf no respect fur the dead? moderate thy strident tones, wench. i can hear the grains o'sand on the beach grindin' togefur like boulders--ah, i forswears that tuna juice furefurr, my oath on't!--jack, lad. be ye livin', er be ye dead?

*ghastly moan* (ah! the mystery be solved)
livin', i thinks. but i also thinks i wish it were not so . . . arrr, that be a fearsome brew ye fed us, nels.

an' dante, me bucko--how fare ye?

*gulps* *runs for the head*

ah, well. we'll be off for th' treasure after a few strips o' bacon an' some nice, greasy pork chops fer our vittles . . . hoy! jack! where be ye goin'?? *nels laughs* th' head be THAT way! *points wif his tail* xing--be sure the lads get the next conveyance t' the island. i be off inna ship's boat. t'will be a sad day when demon tuna juice keep me from me rondyvoo wif treasure. an' by the bye, where be fatcat? he be the keeper o' the map!

ummmm, cap'n?
aye, xing?
i saw fatcat an' nitro slink aboard a while ago. fatcat had no map about him that i could see. an' i could see plenty, for he were mother-nekkid. so were nitro, for the matter o'that.

arrrrrrh. FATCAT!!!!!
aye, cap'n?
what in th' name o' king neptune hisself be ye doin' nekkid?? where be yer hat an' maille shirt? bigod--if yer shivs weren't fastened on t'ye, they'd be gone, too, i swear it.
ahhhhhh, there were this cask, y'see. an' some pretty native ladycats, an' me an' nitro . . .
arrrr, yess . . . ye needn't go into any partikulars now. ye be pirates, after all, tho' ye has no hoo-hahs. but where be th' map? tell me true, now, er i'll put ye in wif th' prisoner after keel-haulin' ye!
errrr, i hasn't seen it lately, yer worship.
*extremely patiently, wif a scary smile:* an' when would be the last time that t'weren't "lately", fatcat?
it were, ummmm, perhaps at two bells o'the second dog watch, kind cap'n, sir.
WHAAAAAAT? an' how be we findin' o'the treasure, then?
me an' nitro, we seen clear sign o' where it be, yer lordshipness! we kin show ye!!
let's get t'the island then, an' if ye show it t'me plain, mayhap ye'll save most o'yer lives.

*off to the island, wif nitro an' fatcat rowin' as if their tails were afire (which may yet happen, if they please not the cap'n, who be crankier than usual owin' t'the tuna juice)*

here, cap'n nels!

it be at the bend in th' path. ye'll see, right enough!

BEGAWD!
we'd best be a-followin' this trail!

sound the alarum!! all cats t'me, by th' horn o' triton!!

*thundering feet are heard*

cap'n jack, dante me lad--ye be here in the nick o'time--we be on the road to riches an' glory!! let's press on . . . an' devil take th' hindmost!!!

be careful where ye dig, mind ye--be sure the spot be not too close t'the comfort stations!

. . . an' what d'ye think happened next? . . .

wait an' see!

anchors aweigh!!

meYARRRRRR! greetin's to ye, brethren an' sistren o' the feline purrsuasion (an' assorted Not of Our Species guests): for them what has not sailed wif us before, i begs to introduce meself: i be nelson john lapurr, more usually known as cap'n nels the cranky. i be recently returned from dry dock wif a diagnosis o' pancake-itis. at least, that be what it sounded like; them scurvey sea-vetties don't speak any tongue a self-respectin' purrate cap'n knows. he sez i must be takin' a daily draught t'get better. tho' me mum thought me inna fair way to see neptune an' the neierids, i be right well enough. i swear by davy jones's belt buckle t' keel haul the next miscreant in a white smock who thinks to get the better o' me an' steal me blood!

this be me good ship, the cat o' nine tails:an' these be her crew:

first mate, chow yung fatcat

nitro the nastyxing the slice

obey them as ye would me in all things, an' we'll bring ye safe ta journey's end!

we be gathered here togefur in a great flotilla on this, our second annyul meow like a pirate day! do we sail to seek our fortunes? what say ye? *ears twitch at a roar of approval* AYE! that be the spirit!! all cats on deck, cast off them lines, an' anchors a-weigh--we be adventure-bound!

*sails boom with wind*

*sea spray fills the air; cats from homes with squirt bottles run for cover*

now, ye may have heard whiskers . . . er, whispers . . . that there be a mighty hoard o' treasure t'be found in them most beautyful of isles, the seychelles:as we sails among the many islets of these waters, let us reflect that on each little island, there be treasure, all right--there be foods efurrywhere!! ye has but to open yer piehole, an' in it will fly!at 'em, me hearties--ye'll get yer fill o' fevvers this day! (our deepest 'pologies to any tame fevvers what sails wif us. the scurvy critters what inhabits this island be obviously much inferior branches of yer fambly trees, an' we all knows deadwood must be pruned;-)

look ye--here be our safe harbour at last!

*cap'n nels calls out:* ahoy, the black furball!! cap'n jack an' sir dante: the watch has spied out a low-life feller skulkin' 'mongst yon rocks at the harbour's mouth--would ye be so kind as to captivate him an' bring him aboard when ye've the time? i'd be much obliged! thank'ee!

lads an' lasses, now that the rabble be cleared away, ye may depart fur the island. remember yer manners, an' avoid poopin' onna beach--there be plenty o' comfort stations 'mongst them trees. we'll be jinin' ye presently.

fatcat, ye sluggard!! trot yer stumps up here wif that map!! aye, there 'tis . . . *squints* what be this here? *pokes a claw into the map*

*a clarion call is heard:* ahoy, cat o' nine tails! we be the ship's boat o' the black furball, an' we be bringin' aboard the prisoner ye bade us capture!


why, shiver me timbers--'tis cap'n jack, his loyal sir dante, an' a near-grown ladcat. ye must be fagin, of whom we've heard tell--only good things, lad, only good things (save that coffee cups be unsafe in yer presence.) a thousand welcomes aboard me ship, me hearties; i scarce thought to be gifted wif a visit from ye in person. delivery of a mere prisoner usually warrants but an oarsmancat an' a marine. will ye jine me in the cap'n's quarters? there's a furry fine vintage tuna juice i'd share wif ye . . .

but first, let's have a look at this specimen ye've brought. i liked him not when i clapped eye on him through the long glass; me thought he had a shifty look about him:yarrrr! an' now i like him no better for the seein' o' him close-like. clap him in irons, an' let him have bread an' water 'til we makes our home port. perhaps wif only bilge rats for company, he'll . . . oh, bugger. i forgot; we be kitties. there ain't no rats on this ship . . . well, then, he'll haf only hisself for company. an' fair enough; even the poor ratties don't deserve that. gentlecats, let's adjourn for a glass or two . . . aye, ye'll jine us, young fagin--by the look o' ye (an' by th' looks ye've been gettin' from the ladycats), ye be old enough now for a nip or two;-)

*time passes, an' cats come an' go to the island, to partake o' the bounteous feast that's laid out on the beach:*



*fatcat an' nitro broach a cask of tuna juice, wander off into the brush, an' are not seen again*

*sun fades, an' the light o' the moon silvers the waves*

*the map skitters away on a vagrant breeze, an' is lost in the whitecaps*

*the cap'n's quarters glow yellow wif lamplight, an' the yowl o' sea shantys has faded til only snores is heard*

*cats ashore an' aboard pile up an' purr an' dream . . . *

WHAT WILL TOMORROW BRING?

(while ye wait, perchance ye'd see what others do on this day of days!)

yarrrrrr! are ye up to snuff?

here be the nature o' the ship ye'll be sailin' on, be ye shippin' out wif cap'n nels on the cat o' nine tails" or cap'n jack o' the black furball, or any other fine-rigged vessel. it behooves ye lubbers t'be knowledgeable-like, so that if ye be pressed inta sarvice in a fight, ye'll know yer poop deck from yer fo'c'sle an' be o' some help ta them what's wavin' their blades about!! there also be more valuable information on that same site, so study careful-like--ye nevver know what'll save ye a life or two.

while mom an' dad are in chicago . . .

arrrrrrrrrr! all ye swabs an' swabbettes--be warrrrrrrned! th' 19th o' septemberrrrr be "talk like a pirate day!" fer the hoomin beans.

sez i: last year, we kitties had our OWN celebration, an' 'twere a fine one, by davy jones's belt buckle!! this year, we aims to spread the news that kitties is a force t'be reckoned wif. the beans here has asked t'be put on notice o' doin's piratical, an' we thinks t'oblige them. if yer willin', be tellin' me this week or the next, an' i'll see that the word is given.

THEREFORE: i herewif declarrrrre furriday the 19th o' septemberrrr t'be th' second annual "MEOW LIKE A PIRATE" day. since it be a furriday, perchance the festivities may carry ofurr into the weekend. what say ye?

• post yer pictures in yer pirate costumes (photoshopped or real) on yer bloggies!
  
• meow yer bloggifyin' that day in pirate meows!! here be a translator to help ye brush up on yer lingo, an' there be linkies to other informative-like sites.
  
• on the day ye sails wif us, be postin' interestin' information 'bout yer deeds piratical, real or not-so!
• go here er here er here an' be dubbed wif yer pirate name! ye'll feel yer feral genes astirrrrrrin'!
• put together a temptation-raidin' parrrrrty, an' don't fergit to have a lookout, lest ye be caught an' marooned!!
  
• remember, ye've a right to parrrrrlay if yer caught--an' don't let yer mum say that only works if she's a pirate!!! show her yer hooks an' tell her ye ain't no scurvy sea-lawyer!
  
• show us yer booty!! (from the raid, ye swab!)
• we 'spects to see ye an' yer bloggies ship-shape an' bristol fashion on the 19th, so look to sharpenin' yer weapons an' plannin' yer brave deeds! there's tuna-juice aplenty fer them what sails wif me that day--no namby-pamby niptinis--plain, honest tuna juice, i sez. if i sees ary a cat drinkin' an umberella drink, i'll send 'im to davy jones!!
  

yarrrrrrrr!

cap'n nelson the cranky

sad, sad day

wif heavy hearts, we nounces that our bean auntie Gladys (granma's sister, an' mom's auntie), passed away yesterday (tuesday). please purr an' purrray specially for her three daughters, pam, colleen, an' marla, an' of course her whole extended fambly. mom an' dad got to see her inna hospital the day before they left chicago last week, so they give thanks to g*d they had that time wif her. mom an' dad will be driving to chicago for the funeral (prolly this weekend), so please spare a purr or two for them, too. thanks you, furriends.

sadly--
your furriends, the meowers

we has met the dare!

texas's last dare was to do something for aminal cancer. well, we done it. when mom got home this evening, we nipped her toes after the greeting ceremony until she went to the puter an' made a donation to the c.s.u. aminal cancer center. we dedicated it to texas, petey, an' alla ofur blogging aminals who has gone to the bridge acause of this awful killer, including our own uncle eeker of blessed memory. we hopes that someday no bean or critter will hafta suffer this evil disease!

thank you, laila & minchie!!

our chi-town buddies has giffen us this lovely award! thank you!! our mom & dad are visiting the grandbeans in oak park right now, and they're gonna watch the cubbies WIN tonight!!

they are also furry glad to know that it's going to cool off tonight. thunderboomers are moving in on them, and on us here in missouri. nels already has a good hiding spot scoped out. the dambrowndog is staying wif our bean brofur--we wonders if he's ready for a bed partner;-)

thanks again, laila an' minchie!!

nom nom nom nom

nom nom nom nom, originally uploaded by olrebbie.

gorgeous gingers allus enjoy a bit of ice cream!

!!!NTM is AOK!!!

it is our pleasure to post in honor of not-the-mama today. he is a great guy, loving an' giving, tender an' gentle, an' a push-ofur for kitties. it's kinda funny--you'd think a tiny kitty would haf trouble pushin' ofur a manbean, but nope. our bud mo tumbles for 'em efurry time, an' we wouldn't haf him any ofur way. we's proud to know him!

thanks, Not-The-Mama, for all you do,
an' for all you are.
long may you wave!!

purrs & purrrayers, please!!

mom works wif a furry nice man whose first granbaby came early a few weeks ago. the new li'l feller's name is flynn roberts. he stopped breathin' a few times inna hospital, so he hadda stay extra-long, an' when he finally went home, he hadda wear a monitor. a few days ago, he an' momma an' daddy (who both just got jobbies) has moved about 45 minutes away from our town. today the hospital called them to say that the person who had read the results of a spinal tap done while he was still inna hospital had "missed" a few things in it, and they needed to bring him back--right away! the hospital said it would pay for their gas, lodging, an' any hospital expenses. we finks it sounds furry serious; could efurrycat an' bean please purr an' purrray for li'l flynn roberts an' his fambly? we fanks you frum the bottom of our hearts!

get yer sunglasses!!

mom & dad & boy & his girl went onna float trip last weekend. they took the dambrowndog wif 'em, an' we'll show you pictures of that later inna week. but now, we introduce miss leslie: the only human inna world wif whiter legs than mr tasty face!

mancat monday - edmund

ed plays a game of kitty-pelmanism:
he was especially entranced by card wif the swimming fishy on it, but he nefur caught him;-)

Kisses to you, little one . . .

May perpetual Light shine upon you,
as the light of your presence shone upon us.

farewell, little sprout

May you know eternal peace, sweet innocent Violette. The boundless love
of those in heaven and on earth will be with you always.

yer better off wif a kitty . . .

instead of a .44 magnum!!

a splanation for billy

we noticed that when li'l billy sweetfeets gingersnap commented on "naughty, naughty mencats", he wanted to know if there was somefing wrong wif wantin' to eat all the foods.

well, yes, li'l furriend, in our case there is. our brofur nels is a geezer, an' that means he's furry old an' creakey in his bones, an' he has a prollem wif his heart. he hasta eat special foods that has extra vitymans an' stuff that geezers need to keep onna right side of dirt. they also makes him pee a lot, although we've nefur figgered out what peein' hasta do wif blood pumpin'! so if the foods you is steelin' borrowin' from a kitty has a differnt flavor from your foods, you should make sure that it's not something that is wrong fur you.

although his foods wouldn't hurt us unless we eated them alla time, mom sez we pees quite enough, thankyoufurrymuch, an' we doesn't need to increase our output. she also sez if you beats up on geezer cats or kitties who can't defend themselfs, you'll go to stay wif basement cat. furefurr.

an' besides, if you eat too much, you will asplode.

whitester wednesday

here's our cousin, powder, surveying the world from the safety of her daddy's shoulder. it may look like she's an "odd-eyed" white, but it's just that her lasers are set on two different speeds. she wanted to be ready to either stun or annihilate whatever was making noise on the carport!

ed wears boxing gloves

well, honestly, that's what it looks like in this picture!

naughty, naughty mencats

::music up:: "whatcha gonna do when they come for you, bad cats, bad cats? . . ."::music fade::

TODAY'S EPISODE: CHAIR JAIL

convicted losers, nitro (left) and edmund (right) agreed to make this PSA as part of a plea-bargain deal :

"kitties, when you try to strong-paw a geezer cat outta his food dish, this is what happens to you. you get sent to the chair jail. an' you get held there by a mean ol' matron wavin' a squirt gun. she don't smile, she don't gif you any treats. if you twitch a whisker, she shoots ya. she sez things like, 'we'll see how YOU like goin' wifout food, you bullies. whatcha think of THAT, eh? if suppertime comes an' some big bully browndog comes by an' pushes you an' growls at you, an' then eats yer food? eh? whattaya say? i can't HEAR you!!! . . .' an' stuff like that. It's no fun, especially if it's before she's had her coffee. so don't be a bully. geezers needs their foods, too. be good kitties, or you'll end up like us--in chair jail. we is furry sorry we was bad an' do not recommend the life of a bully. "

(overheard: is that camera still rollin'? off? good. jeez; i can't believe i said that [mimicking a baby girl-cat's voice: "we is furry sorry we was bad . . ."] gimmea break. let's go score some nip. i need to think about how to get his suppe . . . was that rain i just felt? it felt wet. awwww, crap!--she's got the squirter . . . !)

::music up and out:: "whatcha gonna do when they come for you, bad cats, bad cats? . . ."

don't think too hard, it's sunday!

while mom an' dad was passing the emergency pet hospital today (for a change, NOT hauling one of us in, thank bast!), they noticed the markee said, "is your pet right-pawed or left-pawed? ask a vet tech!" when they got home, mom started to check onna innernets, an' this is what she found:

The cat can also be a right pawed cat, a left pawed cat, or they can be ambidextrous. “Righty, Lefty or Both?” states that “Cats tend to have paw dominance somewhat akin to the right- and left- handedness found in humans. In one study, researchers reported right front paw usage was observed in 20 percent of the cats, while another 38.3 percent favored the left side. The remaining 40 percent were ambidextrous.”

so, lady- an' gentlecats, whattaya have to say about this? true? false? examples? anecdotes?