we gots a suspicious envellup!!

an' then mom tored it open fur us:

we loves these catnip piggies!!
thank you, mrs. victor-n-nina's-mommy!!

an' now here's a bonus video of the
evil pen-monster tormenting nitro and iggy!

we gots it good!!

the book title* sez it all!

(xing is here too, only tucked up in mom's right armpit, where you can't see her.)

*Cats' Kingdom by Jeremy Angel. whicky wuudler's mum put us on the trail of this book (thanks, whicky's mum!!). our liberry couldn't get us a copy acause it's out of print, but mom was able get one really cheap ($1, plus $3.99 postage) through a service that specializes in o.p. and remaindered books. it's about a huge kitty community that lived onna farm in japan in their own big houses. mr. angel took pictures and described their lives inna furry inneresting way, an' we liked hearing about it as mom read aloud. lotsa the behaviors those japanese kittehs had sounded just like ours!

mom allus sez "mitakuye oyasin" about beans, so it must be true fur kittehs, too: we really IS all related, no matter where we live!

paradox

oh, sorry. that shoulda been "pair o'tocks". our bad. *smirk*

mancat meets mustard on monday!!

mom set out some honey-mustard dip inna li'l cup stoled liberated frum a restorant for her chicken nuggets, an' the nuggets weren't cookin' fast enuf fur iggy. so here's the result of what happened when her back was turned:even as he felt her paw wrapping around his scruff, he dove still deeper into the little cup as if to get as much sauce as possible before being hauled away. an' once she'd grabbed him, did she ask dad to hurry up an' get a wet cloth to wipe his poor little face off? oh, hell no. she yelled, "QUICK!!! GET THE CAMERA!!!" they was laffin'!!! we tells ya, a cat can't get no respect around here.

after the delayed wiping off, he sat on the table an' kept on lickin' an' lickin' his chops, an' they laffed at that, too. then, like the big, dopey bean she is, she left the li'l cup right where it was, an' went off to post this barrassing picture. strangely, igmu din't touch it. just kept lickin' his chops. an' lickin'.

mom sez that was hot sweet mustard sauce an' flames oughta be shootin' outta iggy's butt any time now. we'll keep you posted. or not. you may not WANNA know.

snug as . . .

three bugs in a rug!

it's furry cold here (inna 40s ofurnight annit STAYS that way inna house!!!! ::mom: no, it's a reasonable 65 right now in the living room::) an' dad won't make a fire inna big metal warming box. we bets he's cold too, acause he's wearin' flannel pants an' long sleeves, an' is cuddlin' inna reclining chair wif a fluffy blankie.

he sez it's acause we doesn't haff much wood inna woodpile, an he ain't wastin' it on somecats who wear fur coats ennyway!! we fink he should get offa his duff an' go get some. we doesn't care if he had eye sirjury, he's got them funny goggles to keep the dust outta his eyes. he sez right now his job is to go back to day hunting an' bring home the bacon, but as much as we likes bacon, we'd settle fur a load of wood!!

gone again

mom an' dad are goin' ta sheecargo again, so we will be 10-10 an' onna side fur a while. we'll catch up when we get back. don't go haffin' too much fun wifout us!!

. . . to cross the bounding main!

greetings, me hearty kitties! an' welcome to all ye NOMS guests!!

first off this day, i commands that we all doffs our headgear an' remember wif a moment o' silence all those what has gone inta the Great Beyond befur us, not least among them our revered Cap'n Nels the Cranky, wifout whom we none o' us would efur haf stepped paw on board a sailin' vessel nor trod a sandy isle. an' th' while, be namin' in yer minds ALL those whom we remember this day, an' whom we honors wif feastin' an' carousal, as befits them what follows the way o' a gentlecat o' fortune!

***** silence *****

we seeks this day to soothe our souls wif the poundin' heartbeat o' our planet--the mighty waves what wash the shores o' the world. they scour the marks o' time from the beaches--let their sound wash clean our memories of all but the sweet reminders.

the good ship cat o' nine tails be at yer sarvice. be so kind as to notice the figgerhead. it were carved fur us by an ol' shipwright what had retired t'the Ol' Piratecats' Home that cap'n nels built wif part o'the booty from last year's adventure.

so let us away to fling oursel's on the bosom o' the ocean! if ye ha' not a ship, come aboard wi' us! if ye ha' yer own fine ship, cast off right smart, an' jine the flotilla. ah, a fine sight it is!

here be yer host crew:

nitro the nasty
xing the slice
ol' scratch's own coally wee imp -- igmu, the cabinkitt
an' i be yer 'umble cap'n, mao fang, in the glorious tradition o' cap'n nels.

belowdecks there be all manner o' amenities:

soft beds fur nappin'
the mess deck for, well . . . nommin':

an' a bountiful feast set forth from th' galley:

an' a sweet treat fur those what craves it
('specially them lads onna black furrball)

there be tuna juice aplenty fur them as likes it, as well as niptinis, fat cat ale, meowgaritas, an' the like at the sideboard. although the late cap'n nels were known to despise umberella drinks (an' we hope he ain't gonna spin up a waterspout in his wrath at this change), mao fang be master now, an' it be well known he do like his tipple! o'course, there's moo juice an' adam's ale aplenty fur them what don't imbibe spiritous likkers or be too young to do so yet.

there be plenty o' games an' toys fur playin', an' ye won't hafta work too hard t' move 'em--the ocean be doin' it fur ye!!

the latest in comfort stations be sitchyated on the orlop deck -- 'ware the ladders, there be a lot o' rungs! truth told, th' comfort station BE the orlop deck--since we kitties be but light in weight (though we be many), a load o' sand were added as ballast, an' there be plenty o' space t'accomodate us all, wif bounteous material fur scratchin'. mind the cabinkitt, howsomefurr--he likes t'get a close look at the goin's on, if ye get me drift, an' i've no desire t'preside at a bathin' party.

there be plenty o' litter sifters stationed 'roundabout, so our "head" be clean at all times. be ye not dismayed at their form. i has not clapped eye on 'em meself, but believes them t'be a sort o' fevver . . . i heered Pirate Mum say she'd engaged a platoon o' polly-tishuns t'man th' shovels, as they were 'customed t'that line o'work.

yarrrrrrr! we has sighted our furrst port o' call, the beautyous island o' meooorea.

the natives be furriendly, an' colorfully dressed, an' their beans allus has special foods ready fur kitties!

an' while we be on the island, remember that the onshore comfort stations be located inna bushes back AWAY frum the beach!

there be lots o' nappin' places fur sun an' shade.

there be plenty o' snacks at water's edge for ye what's been known
t'dabble yer toezies inna water:

when we've sampled all the goodness that this lovely island holds, why then--we shall weigh anchor an' tellyport ofur the seas afollowin' th' mighty vessel the black furrball as doughty cap'n dante an' crew leads us on a bold adventure through the perilous devil's triangle to a fabled island called "baast". we finds it not on any chart, so we be trustin' the wise master o' th' furrball t'bring us into port an' out o' it again!

we thanks ye each an' all fur yer good faith an' partycipation these three september 19ths--an' hopes ye will teach yer kits t'carry on this tradition long years after we be drydocked at the Ol' Piratecats Home!! there has been cats aboard ship (much to the detriment o' ratties) since sail first spanked inna breeze, an' we shall NOT let this custom pass from our world.

god bless ye, fair company!!

CONTEST WINNER:

this morning, we hadda remind our buddy getzger to send us the name of the caption contest winner. here is his response:

So sorry! I've been busy drinking and sleeping and riding in cars. As opposed to chasing cars.

It will have to be The Tower Hill Mob with "I told you it wasn't a pencil sharpener!"

so now we know. concatulations, toby an' cupcake!! yer seegar will be on its way soon!!

an' efurryone, lookit the next post, too!!

HEYYYY, YOU GUYYYYYYSSSS!

skeezix, mao, rocky, & trip's food lady is runnin' a
pirate costume contest !!!

whatta way to get inna spirit o' th'day!!

go enter NOW, dressed in yer best piratical finery!!

YARRRRRR!

the tuna joose be ready fur loadin' aboardship, an' the flag be ready to hoist.
be ye sailin' wif us on 19 september? 'tis "meow like a pirate day"
(although woofies may woof like a pirate, etc.).

here be yer badge; display it purrroudly, an' ready yer tales o'derring-do onna high seas
(er low seas, if that be yer thing;0)

your caption, please?

25 words or less!

an' our furriend getzger has again grudgingly graciously agreed to judge the contest. prize will be anuther nip seegar!

formerly feral igmu

igmu sapa @ 9 weeks, originally uploaded by olrebbie.

feral frum berth, but feral no more! i'se a happy li'l kitty at my mama an' daddy's house--an' onna hams ov the werld tour! my big brofurs are takin' good care ov me an' i has lerned a new word: "OINK"!

widebody wordless wednesday

big mencats

i found out that this orange kitty is my big brofur, nitro!
i nefur had nuffin' like him befur. he's pretty fun!

he is teachin' me stuff so i can learn to be a big mancat like him! he teaches me THoE, an' "bite the kittie's bippy until he squeaks", an' snorin', an' "pootin' makes mom's eyes water", an' wrasslin', an' how to chase through the crackly tunnel, an' how to hide inna nylon box an' dart out an' gif xing heart failure. mama whaps us bofe for that, but it's fun ennyhow! i likes my brofur!!

easy like . . . well, YOU know

happy family, togefur again!

OH, THE HORROR!!!

*WAHHHHHHH!* i am SO ashamed. how could My Mama haf this done to me?

i don't love My Mama so much any more! she is mean, mean, mean. all my floofy goodness is GONE furefur, my flauschie toezies are not flauschie ennymore, my belly is NEKKID, an' i am ugly, ugly, ugly!!!! *sniffle* *WAHHHHHHHH!*

*sniffle* what, Mama? oh, wait; i'm not talkin' to you!! ::presents shaven rump::

what? it'll grow back? oh, goodie! when? MONTHS???? not acceptable!! ::rump again::

no, i won't let you pet me; how could you pet me when i'm so ugly? i'm still beautymous? HAH! lemme see that mirror. hmmmmmmm . . . .

what's sheared velvet? a very spensive cloth that ladybeans think is beautymous? it feels like me?? honest? an' i'm prettier?? an' softer?

oooooh. that feels good; what is it?? ACKKKKKKK! a brush? oh, only petting me, huh? well, ok, but just for a little while . . . . ::time passes:: *gentle snore*

*blink* Mama? i loves you again!! you are my very best Mama! (an' i'm glad the hairs on my pretty hiney don't pull no more.)

MOM HERE . . .

OK, most of you know me and the kitties very well, but for those of you who don't have the benefit of a long acquaintance, before you read xing's story (below) and tomorrow's post:

i want to assure you that i do not (and would NEVER) patronize anyone who would medicate purely for the sake of efficacy. the vet's groomer tried very hard (we know this vet and trust him implicitly, and i spoke with him before the groomer began) not to sedate her, but believe me, it was for the best. she was very matted and had become increasingly unhappy when touched anywhere near the matts, so i know they were pulling and hurting. so we had her shaved.

xing lu is a kitty with an extremely high panic factor. she's very timid, and afraid of everything and every noise (loud or soft) and every movement--even mine. she has no known physical disabilities like blindness, deafness, illness. three years of soft words, lots of petting and loving, lap sitting, feliway (bah! shmeliway), bach flower essences, every food from no meat to ALL meat, no preservatives, etc. etc. ad nauseam, to no avail. she is still a frightened kitty who is comfortable nowhere but in my arms--and yet even I cannot brush her or clip her claws alone.

she's the one my husband found zipped into a soft-sided 12-pack cooler at the side of the road in february 4 years ago. she had no upper left eyetooth when she came to us, but no vet she's ever seen (we've had to change twice in two years because of [1] the first vet's retirement and [2] the replacement vet relocating) has been able to tell whether it was knocked out or whether she was born without it. what her story was up until we got her is a complete blank; was she mistreated? was she abandoned because she was so skittish? did a vindictive significant other choose that way to get back by dumping her? dunno. but she is very loving (and needy) towards humans and doesn't mind dogs very much, though totally uncomfortable with other cats. she has never interacted with the boys--of course, they have wanted to play, and she does not know how. not even with cat toys . . . thrown, wiggled, pulled past her, dangled, etc. . . alone or with me. she just doesn't get the concept. she does, however, respond to catnip, but she is a "mean drunk" and just gets hissier.

if you have any tales of successful strategies with kitties like this, please share them! it hurts me to know that she's not a happy cat, and that is what i have always striven for with our animals.

whatta heck??

yesterday was a day that will live in infamy. i am furry sorry to tell you cats who thought the Groomer place was a nice place: the one I got taken to was N.O.T. -- not at all. it was akshully a room at the v-e-t office, but i haffn't efur been there before this. it was drefful; they poked me all ofur an' stuck me wif a sharp thingy that they said would keep me from gettin' sick. but it hurt!!

then they carried me to anofur room an' i thought My Daddy would be there waitin' fur me, but he wasn't. in fact, i couldn't smell him anywhere!!! i was so scared!!! some silly ladybean thought i wanted to be brushed, but someone furgot to tell her that I DO NOT WANT! so i told her. an' told her. an' she din't listen at all.

i fought an' fought that Groomer bean, but she stuck me wif anofur sharp thingy in mine tushie, an' then i got SOOOO tired i just hadda lay down an' rest. an' when i woke UP, my head ached dreffully, i was all drooly, an' my legs din't work. but My Daddy was there, an' he put me inna pretty brown carrier, an' i went to sleep again. an' then i was at home, in my own rooms. i felt awful, an' i couldn't walk good at all. i kept goin' in circles an' fallin' ofur. he brought me some crunchies, but they din't even smell good to me, so i just stayed unner the bed.

after her day-huntin', My Mama came home an' laid onna floor next to the bed to talk to me, but her words sounded all funny an' i got upset an' ran out from unner the bed--but someone was movin' the walls an' floor, an' i couldn't get anywhere. my legs an' feets was like that wiggly red stuff My Mama eats when she's sick. an' when she came to pick me up, i got furry scared, which is just silly! i tried to run away again onna slippery, tilty floor, an' made it back unner the bed.

this mornin' after they went away to their day hunting, i wobbled out to post this account. i really don't member what happened . . . all's i can tell you fur shure that li'l tiny woofie-shaped devils wif hammers are inside my head right now, bangin' to get out, an' THAT is NOT fun! i dunno how they got in there, but i'm pretty sure it had somethin' to do wif that v-e-t. i know somethin' is wrong here but i can't exactly put my finger on it--but what really scares me is that the boycats are treatin' me furry gingerly, stayin' away an' bein' eferso quiet.

i will post again tomorrow, if i am not deadified. that's how bad my head hurts!!! purr fur me, please, kittyfurriends?

xing is worried:

oh, noes! i hasta go somewheres today--My Mama sez it's a place called Groomers, an' i hasn't efur been there before. she sez alla the knotty furs i won't let her brush will go away, but i am furry worried about how that will happen!!

an' i am furry worried about that new black boycat--My Mama sez he is awful smart: he was borned knowin' alla the bad habbits that nitro hadda work to learn, like drinkin' coffee from My Mama's mug, snatchin' bites of food outta beans' sammiches, flyin' through the air from the stove to the kitchen table, layin' onna the kitchen table as if he was the king o' the cats, an' stuff like that. all of which I would nefur do, because i am a Good Cat.

an' i am furry hissed-off that the new black boycat thinks that MY Mama is HIS mama!! that can't be--she only loves ME best. she tells me i am her furry best sweetest fuzzy girl efurry day!! pooh!

but i am still worried about that Groomer thing . . .

it's me--iggy!!

the big boys sed i could talk to you today (although i don't see nocat anywhere acept them), an' they would help wif the spellin' part. then mama sed she would help wif hittin' the little squares wif squiggles on them, so here i am talkin' to you fur the furst time--me, igmu sapa!

so far, i don't really know what that igmu business is. it's somethin' called a "name", an' the big orange cat sez that it means me an' that i should pay attention when i hear it. the big fat fluffy cat sez not to bother, acause we is kitties, an' that means we can do just zackly whatefur we want, asept when we hear "NO" eifur befur or after it. then we just hasta do zackly whatefur we want anyway, only faster. but i am cornfused acause i think i has ofur names. so far, i has heard sweetbaby, iggums, moo-moo, funnyyoudon'tlookmooish, inky-dinky, an' iglet. what does i do when i hears THEM?

an' the hissy-fissy big green-eyed fluffy cat just sez HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS when she sees me. i know what THAT means! geddouttahere!! so i gedout whenefur she sez it, an' keeps a respectful distance. the big boys are nice, though, an' i has already snatched something good-tasting outta the orange one's mouf acause he wasn't chewin' fast enuf, an' i thought i could help him. he din't bite me; i fink he was surprised. we both tried to help daddy eat his suppers, but he wouln't let us. later he put crunchies in our dishes, an' we all got full bellies. then the big orange guy let me sleep wif my head on his hinder end when we were on mama's lap after suppers. but i'm not sure he really knew i was there. maybe he did. he saw me when we both got up at the same time to vestigate the smell of mama's ice cream, an' he din't hiss at me when we got to the dish.

there's a REALLY BIG brown kitty here, too, but i don't like the way he smells (an' his mouf is bigger than the whole me), so i hisses my feroshusest hiss at him, an' he stays away. i'll get to know him later. the orange kitty sez he hopes it's MUCH later.

mama sez she has already tole you about how she come to take me home, so i won't tell it again. it was pretty asitin', i will tell you THAT! but i will show you now how good i can press the square things wif squiggles, an' she isn't gonna hafta do it for me next time, i betcha:

xqqqqq33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333swwwwwwwww

see?

anyway, i'm tired now an' mus' go nap for a while; mama gave me more crunchies, an' i hadda eat 'em fast acause the big boys wanted them, too. g'bye fur now.