mom got prezzies, too

these is mom's most favoritest gift--norskie style mittens wif cats. miss ginger, whose paws is as nimble as igmu's, knitted them fur her. an' we even sniffed miss ginger's kittehs in 'em--special blend yarn!!

we gots prezzints!

an' we shared wif the dbd. . .

third day of christmas . . .

ok, we is onna 3rd day of catsmas--an' here is a purresent for you. if you haffen't seen it before, you will LUFF it, an' if you haff, you will luff it all ofur again!

merry catsmas, efurryone!

alla us here at chez pierce--beans, dbd, an' meowers--wishes you your heart's desire, an' peace, health, an' plenty now an' furefurr!!

wif love an' purrs,
edmund, nitro, xingxing, iggy, cocoa, cheryl, & tom

mom goes fur a ride!

ed repurrts:

mom really special treatment yesterday!! daddy came home from work early, an' then some ofur nice men came to the house too, an' before you knew it, she had all four men kneelin' at her feets while she sat in our nicest chair an' each one of 'em talked to her an' gave her somethin'!

then some ofur beans drove up inna really stylin' limo--furry patriotic -- all red, white, an' blue! we hears it costs 1000 green papers to ride innit. them beans had furry fancy unyforms on, an' we thought we was haffin' a really splendid gatherin'. they talked to mom an' gave her stuff, too.

but then dad got in his big maroon machine an' took off, an' mom went wif the two beans inna limo to a big fancy building where they drove right inside wiff her an' she there she talked to a to LOTS an' LOTSA beans, an' many of them gave her stuff, too! dad was there, already.

then efurryone (but mom) decided that mom would stay there ofurnight. she was outvoted an' furry cranky, because her & daddy's godbaby from omaha was passin' through town on her way south, an' she hasn't seen her since 3 years. so mom din't get to see her, but dad cooked fur her an' talked all efening wif her an' me an' xing, an' iggy got to meet her. she is a furry nice lady!! but chiken-butt nitro din't come out at all asept to eat, an' dad hadda stand there an' guard him while he did. then he went an' hid all night. ::bawkkkkkk-bawkkkkkk-bawkkkkkk!!!!:: xingy got to sleep wif her an' sez she is furry cuddly.

well, you prolly guessed by now that the place mom went was th hopsital, an' alla the beans who came to visit were fire fighter EMTs and Emergency Medical Services (anna limo was a amulence). she has assma, an' the night before, she had a furry bad sinus attack that made her coff alot, and suck in more airs than she could push back out. so she wasn't able to breafe hardly at all--a classic assma attack.

a coupla weeks ago, she had bronchitis, an' took aunty biotiks fur it, an' apparently got all better. but maybe a few bugs just stuck around an' got lively later on acause she also had newmoanyuh.

so after about a millyun breathing treatments an' a billyun more bags of aunty biotiks, she is mo' bettah today anna doc decided she could go home an take more aunty biotiks an' sleep in her own bed. mom is glad; she sez a hopsital is noplace to go if you expect to rest. so she is nappin' inna recliner, an' dad gots the humididifire hooked up an' runnin'. we will keep you posted, but we suspects our catsmas project is on hold. we's sorry!!

good behavior makes . . .

strange bedfellows just before catsmas!we bets THEY gets prezzunts!
we are furry thankful that gramma moved to tucson so we could haff this cozy critter bed that useta be hers. mom & dad calls it a "couch", but alla us meowers know it's really a critter bed!

wordless wednesday

brofurs in arms

igmu speaks . . .

*sigh* why does efurryone fink i am a bad boycat? i can't helps it!! i am jus' a kitty, an' i doesn't know how to be anyfing differnt. i just does what i did when i liffed outside--why is inside differnt? does this "growin' up" thing that efurrycat talks about help me be better? when can i do it?? mom sez there could be a "hoohaectomy" sooner 'steada later in my future; does that help? what is it, ennyway?

i hopes that mr. santy paws knows that i really doesn't mean to be mean or bad. ed sez he brings lumps of black stuff to naughty kitties, but i pretty much like to play wif black lumps of stuff, so maybe it won't be too bad. an' ennyway, my good furriend billy sweetfeets norton sez he will share his pressies wif me--he's such a nice kitty to offer to share, i'm sure mr. santy paws will be extra-nice to him!

iggy's in trouble, big time! we KNOW he's not gettin' anyfing fur catsmas. we heard xing whinin' about him pickin' on her, but that ain't what's gonna get him a lump of dog doody in his sock. here's his score so far this week:

monday: grabbed mom's breffust sammich wif a paw when she put it down to get a drink of coffee. then he drank the coffee when she went to get the squirter to shoot him wif. result: drenching

tuesday: knocked dad's ice cream bowl outta his hand when he rushed to get his face in it. result: thwap onna headbone wif a spoon

wednesday: knocked mom's big wood peppergrinder down so dbd could use it as a chewbone. result: nuffin' excep a really potent stink-eye from mom, since she knew it was too late for yellin' an' wouldn't do no good

thursday: grabbed a bite outta mom's lasagna while she was eatin' it. result: fork-thwap onna skull, an' a butt-load of frustration acause he couldn't lick the lasagna residue offa the top of his head

friday: dragged mom's sammich plumb offa the table an' onto the floor while she got the grape joos outta the fridjamerator. result: dbd got a snack, iggy got a swat wif the noospaper

saturday: he got the bread box open an' tunneled his sneaky li'l arm an' paw alla way down to the bottom of the loaf!! dad asked him how he'd like it if HE got toasted inna toaster an' had jelly lathered all ofur him, since there was no breads left fur dad's breffust. we hear mom & dad are gonna keep the breadbox inna microwave frum now on. we finks it might be easier on efurryone if they kept iggy there, instead.

if santy paws really DOES know efurrything efurrykitty does, igmu is s-k-r-e-w-e-d!

how does i call santy paws?

xing lu sez: my rotten brofur, that moo-moo! he just makes me SOOOOO mad!! i was snoozing away quietly onna sofa inna living room, an' he jumped up an' swatted me whappity-whap-whap on my delicate little pink (outlined in brown) nose. for NO REASON!! i had finely got my courage up to stay out inna living room wifout bein' on My Mama's lap (because there wasn't any room there on accounta her little flat computer), an' even nitro an' fat ed weren't bothering me. but moo-moo? HAH! i hissed a really mean hiss at him, an' he ran off to the kitchen.

shortly thereafter came a crash inna kitchen, and then some drefful language from My Daddy, an' here came moo-moo again, full steam ahead--MY head!! he ran right up the front of the sofa an' up ofur my head. i was so surprised, i couldn't even hiss--so he turned around an' came up and whappity-whapped me again. well, you may just imagine that i hissed him good THEN an' threw in a few loud growls for emphasis.

My Mama threw her shoe to make him go away, an' it scairt him, so HE hissed, an' then I hissed louder, an' pretty soon nitro an' ed were hissin' too. so My Mama hollered, "if i'd wanted a dam snake pit, i'da got snakes insteada cats!! you kin all just quit that racket an' take a time out!!!!" then i hadda go to my room (which doesn't haf a warm stove, but there are two warm blanket-y beds), an' moo-moo hadda sit inna computer room, an' ed an' nitro just skulked back behint the sofa an' stayed outta Her way.

we can't even haf a catsmas tree acause moo-moo finks he's a acro-cat an' My Mama's afurraid he'll swing onna branches an' pull it ofur. i think santy paws should know that my brofur is a furry, furry bad little kitty an' shouldn't get nuthin' fur catsmas. My Daddy even calls him "billy bad@$$"!!

But My Mama sez that santy paws knows efurrything about efurrycat anyways, an' i don't need to be a tattletail. i don't know what that is. i just has a reglar floofy tail. it doesn't make no tattle; at least i've nefur heard or seen any. so i will hope an' purr that's true.

neckwarmer, part II

yesterday, summa you kitties wondered if dad's big giant head (why's mom chucklin' at that?) din't put a big dent in my belly. akshully not; here's the ofur picture she was gonna post, but couldn't get it to upload fur some reason. she's at home today, sickly, but not so sickly that she couldn't try again--an' here it is. you kin see that even when he tipped his head backerds, there was still plenty of room for it an' he just kinda ended up nestlin' in my furchin. so it was ok.

mutual mancat pillows!

happy saint nicholas day!

catsmas decoratin'* starts offishully at chez pierce when mom brings this li'l feller outta the attic an' puts him inna tall lighted cabinet inna liffin' room.
it's allus the same day: Saint Nicholas Day, december 6th.

our croatian great gramma bean giffed him to mom when she was only 7 years old (mom, not great gramma), so he's more'n half a century ancient. he is made of paper marshay an' his outfit is flocked on. he's holdin' a li'l sprig of somethin' that's sposd to be a catsmas tree, an' his top half twists offa his bottom--he was filled wif chocolate candies when he was new. yew kin learn more about the good saint here an' here.

mom allus did saint nicholas day treats fur our boy bean, dash, as he grew up, so he knew something most kids inna ozarks din't. when he was half-growed an' studied german language in school, one winter morning the teacher (herr zahn -- mr tooth) told the kids (in german) that whoefur took off their shoos an' put 'em outsidea the door would get a surprise. alla the kids looked at dash like he was goofy while he did it, because some of them understood the instructions but they din't think they made any sense, so they din't do it. but he did it acause he knew that that's what kids in europe would do the night befur saint nicholas's day. then the next morning they would find the little treats that the saint had left fur them. so out inna hall was an older student wif a bag of candy--an' since dash was the only one to show up, he got the whole thing!! mom was furry proud for him!

so this is allus a happy day at our house, an' we wishes one to YOU, too!
-------------------------------------------
*ixept outdoor lights, which can go up as early as mid-november, acause dad puts them up an' he sez all sortsa non-catsmas-like words if he hasta do it when it's rainin' or snowin' or icin'.

we're BAAAAAAAaaaack!

no, this is not our bean brofur; we dunno who it is. but we know if this guy efur comes to our house, he's gonna need some bandaids befur it's all ofur!!

mom's onna road again!

we's gonna be 10-10 an' onna side (an' if you know what THAT means, yer older than dirt!) for a while. mom's in chicago visitin' her auntie an' prolly won't be back until the week end. don't haf too much fun wifout us!!

mom is a spoil-sport!!

it was "stoo", an' it just torchered us fur HOURS an' HOURS wif good smells. durin' our naps, we even dreamed we were bein' torchered by haffin' foods kept away frum us in anofur room!!!

igmu's gettin' to be a big boy!

little moo-moo was a scrawny specimen when he came to lif wif us back inna summer.










but as you can see, he is morphin' into a very nice porch panther.
he is now definitely bigger than a breadbox!!

one word meme

mom has a facebook meme right now where people describe her in one word. here's hers for us:

ed: bemused

nitro: mouse-breath

xing lu: princess

igmu: copycat

does you haf any words 'bout us? or do you haf the same meme? let us know!

wounded wednesday

mama?

yes, xingie?

does you still luff me?

yes, sugar-pie.

even though i hurted you?

yes, sugar-pie; even though you gaffed me like a fish.

uhhh, 'scuse me?

that just means "stuck me in a vein with your needlelike claws and made me bleed copiously despite direct pressure applied immediately".

oh.

what on earth were you thinking?

i saw the iggymonster onna floor ofur by daddy's chair.

on the floor? that's hardly the same thing as him sitting on my arm six inches away from you!!

i know; i dunno why i thought i could smack him. efurrything just turned red in front of my eyes and i smacked. seein' him makes me wanna smack. an' he hisses an' spits at me, an' smacks back.

don't i always tell you that the boycats just like to tease?

he wasn't teasin'.

what was he doing that ticked you off, then?

he was breathin'.

that's NOT the same as teasing, xingxing.

when it comes to boycats, it's the same thing.

nope.

yup.

xingie? what goes on in that little head of yours?

i dunno, mama.

me neither, honeypot. me neither.

tuesday trauma: tail of two fevvers

mom an' miss ginger went out shopping togefur, an' when they came home, this is what they found in our front yard :
a fevver called a hawk (of some sort, daddy finks a young redtail--does ennycat know fer sure? we lives in southwestern missouri) tacted an' kilt (!) anover fevver (a dove). the hawk fevver just stood there an' stood there while they took pictures, an' din't fly away until they started to walk out to it. an' then they realized that the hawk had been perched on the remains of the dove--he carried them up an' away wif him, an' this is all that was left behind!!we wanted to go out an' roll inna fevvers an' take 'em indoors for playin' but mean ol' mom sed we coudn't acause fevvers carry sickies called sit-a-co-sis, an' she din't want 'em inna house. pooey. obviously, the hawk wasn't scairt of no sickies!!

we gots a suspicious envellup!!

an' then mom tored it open fur us:

we loves these catnip piggies!!
thank you, mrs. victor-n-nina's-mommy!!

an' now here's a bonus video of the
evil pen-monster tormenting nitro and iggy!

we gots it good!!

the book title* sez it all!

(xing is here too, only tucked up in mom's right armpit, where you can't see her.)

*Cats' Kingdom by Jeremy Angel. whicky wuudler's mum put us on the trail of this book (thanks, whicky's mum!!). our liberry couldn't get us a copy acause it's out of print, but mom was able get one really cheap ($1, plus $3.99 postage) through a service that specializes in o.p. and remaindered books. it's about a huge kitty community that lived onna farm in japan in their own big houses. mr. angel took pictures and described their lives inna furry inneresting way, an' we liked hearing about it as mom read aloud. lotsa the behaviors those japanese kittehs had sounded just like ours!

mom allus sez "mitakuye oyasin" about beans, so it must be true fur kittehs, too: we really IS all related, no matter where we live!

paradox

oh, sorry. that shoulda been "pair o'tocks". our bad. *smirk*

mancat meets mustard on monday!!

mom set out some honey-mustard dip inna li'l cup stoled liberated frum a restorant for her chicken nuggets, an' the nuggets weren't cookin' fast enuf fur iggy. so here's the result of what happened when her back was turned:even as he felt her paw wrapping around his scruff, he dove still deeper into the little cup as if to get as much sauce as possible before being hauled away. an' once she'd grabbed him, did she ask dad to hurry up an' get a wet cloth to wipe his poor little face off? oh, hell no. she yelled, "QUICK!!! GET THE CAMERA!!!" they was laffin'!!! we tells ya, a cat can't get no respect around here.

after the delayed wiping off, he sat on the table an' kept on lickin' an' lickin' his chops, an' they laffed at that, too. then, like the big, dopey bean she is, she left the li'l cup right where it was, an' went off to post this barrassing picture. strangely, igmu din't touch it. just kept lickin' his chops. an' lickin'.

mom sez that was hot sweet mustard sauce an' flames oughta be shootin' outta iggy's butt any time now. we'll keep you posted. or not. you may not WANNA know.

snug as . . .

three bugs in a rug!

it's furry cold here (inna 40s ofurnight annit STAYS that way inna house!!!! ::mom: no, it's a reasonable 65 right now in the living room::) an' dad won't make a fire inna big metal warming box. we bets he's cold too, acause he's wearin' flannel pants an' long sleeves, an' is cuddlin' inna reclining chair wif a fluffy blankie.

he sez it's acause we doesn't haff much wood inna woodpile, an he ain't wastin' it on somecats who wear fur coats ennyway!! we fink he should get offa his duff an' go get some. we doesn't care if he had eye sirjury, he's got them funny goggles to keep the dust outta his eyes. he sez right now his job is to go back to day hunting an' bring home the bacon, but as much as we likes bacon, we'd settle fur a load of wood!!

gone again

mom an' dad are goin' ta sheecargo again, so we will be 10-10 an' onna side fur a while. we'll catch up when we get back. don't go haffin' too much fun wifout us!!

. . . to cross the bounding main!

greetings, me hearty kitties! an' welcome to all ye NOMS guests!!

first off this day, i commands that we all doffs our headgear an' remember wif a moment o' silence all those what has gone inta the Great Beyond befur us, not least among them our revered Cap'n Nels the Cranky, wifout whom we none o' us would efur haf stepped paw on board a sailin' vessel nor trod a sandy isle. an' th' while, be namin' in yer minds ALL those whom we remember this day, an' whom we honors wif feastin' an' carousal, as befits them what follows the way o' a gentlecat o' fortune!

***** silence *****

we seeks this day to soothe our souls wif the poundin' heartbeat o' our planet--the mighty waves what wash the shores o' the world. they scour the marks o' time from the beaches--let their sound wash clean our memories of all but the sweet reminders.

the good ship cat o' nine tails be at yer sarvice. be so kind as to notice the figgerhead. it were carved fur us by an ol' shipwright what had retired t'the Ol' Piratecats' Home that cap'n nels built wif part o'the booty from last year's adventure.

so let us away to fling oursel's on the bosom o' the ocean! if ye ha' not a ship, come aboard wi' us! if ye ha' yer own fine ship, cast off right smart, an' jine the flotilla. ah, a fine sight it is!

here be yer host crew:

nitro the nasty
xing the slice
ol' scratch's own coally wee imp -- igmu, the cabinkitt
an' i be yer 'umble cap'n, mao fang, in the glorious tradition o' cap'n nels.

belowdecks there be all manner o' amenities:

soft beds fur nappin'
the mess deck for, well . . . nommin':

an' a bountiful feast set forth from th' galley:

an' a sweet treat fur those what craves it
('specially them lads onna black furrball)

there be tuna juice aplenty fur them as likes it, as well as niptinis, fat cat ale, meowgaritas, an' the like at the sideboard. although the late cap'n nels were known to despise umberella drinks (an' we hope he ain't gonna spin up a waterspout in his wrath at this change), mao fang be master now, an' it be well known he do like his tipple! o'course, there's moo juice an' adam's ale aplenty fur them what don't imbibe spiritous likkers or be too young to do so yet.

there be plenty o' games an' toys fur playin', an' ye won't hafta work too hard t' move 'em--the ocean be doin' it fur ye!!

the latest in comfort stations be sitchyated on the orlop deck -- 'ware the ladders, there be a lot o' rungs! truth told, th' comfort station BE the orlop deck--since we kitties be but light in weight (though we be many), a load o' sand were added as ballast, an' there be plenty o' space t'accomodate us all, wif bounteous material fur scratchin'. mind the cabinkitt, howsomefurr--he likes t'get a close look at the goin's on, if ye get me drift, an' i've no desire t'preside at a bathin' party.

there be plenty o' litter sifters stationed 'roundabout, so our "head" be clean at all times. be ye not dismayed at their form. i has not clapped eye on 'em meself, but believes them t'be a sort o' fevver . . . i heered Pirate Mum say she'd engaged a platoon o' polly-tishuns t'man th' shovels, as they were 'customed t'that line o'work.

yarrrrrrr! we has sighted our furrst port o' call, the beautyous island o' meooorea.

the natives be furriendly, an' colorfully dressed, an' their beans allus has special foods ready fur kitties!

an' while we be on the island, remember that the onshore comfort stations be located inna bushes back AWAY frum the beach!

there be lots o' nappin' places fur sun an' shade.

there be plenty o' snacks at water's edge for ye what's been known
t'dabble yer toezies inna water:

when we've sampled all the goodness that this lovely island holds, why then--we shall weigh anchor an' tellyport ofur the seas afollowin' th' mighty vessel the black furrball as doughty cap'n dante an' crew leads us on a bold adventure through the perilous devil's triangle to a fabled island called "baast". we finds it not on any chart, so we be trustin' the wise master o' th' furrball t'bring us into port an' out o' it again!

we thanks ye each an' all fur yer good faith an' partycipation these three september 19ths--an' hopes ye will teach yer kits t'carry on this tradition long years after we be drydocked at the Ol' Piratecats Home!! there has been cats aboard ship (much to the detriment o' ratties) since sail first spanked inna breeze, an' we shall NOT let this custom pass from our world.

god bless ye, fair company!!

CONTEST WINNER:

this morning, we hadda remind our buddy getzger to send us the name of the caption contest winner. here is his response:

So sorry! I've been busy drinking and sleeping and riding in cars. As opposed to chasing cars.

It will have to be The Tower Hill Mob with "I told you it wasn't a pencil sharpener!"

so now we know. concatulations, toby an' cupcake!! yer seegar will be on its way soon!!

an' efurryone, lookit the next post, too!!

HEYYYY, YOU GUYYYYYYSSSS!

skeezix, mao, rocky, & trip's food lady is runnin' a
pirate costume contest !!!

whatta way to get inna spirit o' th'day!!

go enter NOW, dressed in yer best piratical finery!!

YARRRRRR!

the tuna joose be ready fur loadin' aboardship, an' the flag be ready to hoist.
be ye sailin' wif us on 19 september? 'tis "meow like a pirate day"
(although woofies may woof like a pirate, etc.).

here be yer badge; display it purrroudly, an' ready yer tales o'derring-do onna high seas
(er low seas, if that be yer thing;0)

your caption, please?

25 words or less!

an' our furriend getzger has again grudgingly graciously agreed to judge the contest. prize will be anuther nip seegar!