DO YE SAIL WIF US TODAY?

arrrr, lads 'n' lasses!! pay heed t'me this day, an' we'll sail fine an' true. now, climb aboarrrr the good ship "cat o' nine tails" an' let's be off for our anchorage! just be rememberin' that there be no poopin' onna poop deck. there be litter boxes below fer ye comfort.

i be yer cap'n, nelson the cranky. beware, lest ye earn yerself a keel-haulin'. the surest way to that be touchin' o' me hindquarters, so keep yer distance from me coattails!!

sailin' wif us today be first mate chow yung fatcat, an' our second mate, nitro the nasty!














our ship's company made a wee visit last night to a small port town, an' came away wif some superb booty. resident femmecat fatale, xing the slice, kep' the populace at bay, errrrr . . . amused till we could take on our carrrrrgo. an' when we left, we threw a little barrrrbeque for them to remember us by. yarrrrrr.





now as we be underrrrr sail on the way to our snug harborrrr, we points out to ye that not all denizens o'the sea be tasty snacks.


some be eye candy, what be things o'beauty, like, but not edible. (although there be some what claims they "has a flavor" . . .)


these seagoing beauties be knowed as "sireeeens", an' they sings beautymous music, but ye must not harken!!!! we finks we did hear her song what lures brave cats to their doom: "skeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzy! skeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzyyyy". yarrrr. that's what it sounded like ter us. we put on more sail, an' made way up the coast!

ahoy! thar be our cove!! fear not, me bravos an' bravettes--there be dories aplenty to be bringin' ye ashore. not a whisker will be dampened, i swear it by davy jones!!

(by the bye . . . . there be no poopin' on the beach, neither. ye'll be findin' plenty o' comfort stations in the underbrush.)

an' should ye be in need ov a nap an' want no sand in yer fur, there be plenty o' these comfy beds scattered 'round in shade an' sun.






an' fer the fillin' o' yer tummies, we recommends these fine vittles what we liberated from that wee port last night (along wif the servin' staff). there be hammm, there be chicken, there be chicken o' the sea! there be hammmm! there be lobster, there be gravlax, there be green leafs an' orange-color sticks fer the buns an' ratties, there be fruits an' veggies o' all description. oh, an' beforrrrr i fergets, an' there be hammmmmmmmmm!!!!!!! yarrrrrr. *slurp*




we'll also be broachin' of the varrrrrious containers o' liquid refreshment, an' there be copious fresh water springs a little ways inland. (we does NOT recommend the ocean waters, should ye be brave enough to lave yer toezies in the surf--be goin' an' washin' yer feets in one o' the springs--the salt'll leave ye parched if ye bathes it away on yer own.) there be many, many kegs o' tuna water, as i promised ye, an' there be niptinis an' jugs o' catmint rrrrrrrrum an' catnip mead for ye as imbibes spirits!

when the sun sets, we'll be sharin' out the booty from that little port -- arrrrr, first mate fatcat! what were the name o' that scurvy shanty town? arrrrr, yairs--that were it---dogville. strange how they come to be havin' such delightsome treats as be fit fer kitties. perhaps they were ready to mount an offensive on the nearby island of cattania, an' we relieved 'em o' the bait they'd use to lure the kitties out into the open!

why, yarrrr. that be it! we done a sarvis for our bretheren an' sisteren of cattania. i be minded to let 'em know, an' be collectin' a rewarrrrrd, i be! we sails tomorrow for meowville, the capital of cattania! make a note o' that, fatcat. should i be somewhat foggy w' the drink on the morrow, i task ye with bringin' our destination to me attention, after a respectful silence. an' in a quiet voice, mind ye!!

inna meantime, me hearties, let's us go an' make free w' the booty from the many chests we collected. here be an example o' the least of 'em. there be yummies an' toys o' all kinds, an' they be ours . . . all ours! let us enjoy 'em in good health!!

when ye be partied out, hail yerself a dory an' return t' our good ship cat o' nine tails. we'll be makin' a last sweep fer sleepin' kitties at eight bells o' the first watch (that be midnight, for ye lubbers), an' ferryin' the bodies to the ship, for we sails at first light. fatcat! where be we bound, again? arrrrr, cattania, that be it. thank'ee.

i takes good care o' them what sails wif me. it's allus calm seas an' fair weather when cap'n nels be at the helm. our ship's fair company hopes ye enjoys yer day an' puts the recent troubles outta yer minds fer a while. we be prrrroud to call ye our mates!

do ye remember??

sir edmund sez: all ye hearty boycats 'n' comely lasscats, be ready to hoist a tankard an' sail wif the meowers on wednesday!!

AVAST, ME HEARTIES!

arrrrrrrrrr! all ye swabs an' swabbettes--be warrrrrrrned! wednesday next, th' 19th o'septemberrrrr, be "talk like a pirate day!" fer the hoomin beans.

sez i: by gum, we kitties should haf our OWN celebration!

i does therefore declarrrrre next wednesday ter be "MEOW LIKE A PIRATE" day.

• post yer pictures in yer pirate costumes (photoshopped or real) on yer bloggies!
  
• meow yer bloggifyin' that day in pirate meows!! here be a translator to help ye brush up on yer lingo.
  
• be postin' interestin' information 'bout deeds piratical, real or not-so!
• go here er here er here an' be dubbed wif yer pirate name! ye'll feel yer feral genes astirrrrrrin'!
• put together a temptation-raidin' parrrrrty, an' don't fergit to have a lookout, lest ye be caught an' keelhauled!! an' remember, ye've a right to parrrrrlay if yer caught--an' don't let yer ma say that only works if she's a pirate!!! show her yer hooks an' tell her ye ain't no sea-lawyer!
  
• show us yer booty!! (from the raid, ye swab!)
• we 'spects to see ye an' yer bloggies ship-shape an' bristol fashion on the 19th, so look to sharpenin' yer weapons an' plannin' yer brave deeds! there's tuna-juice aplenty fer them what sails wif me that day!

yarrrrrrrr!

cap'n nelson the cranky

weird wednesday

here is a furry odd machine that mom and dad saw in the wallyworld parking lot. dad said the tractor seat would hafta have a lot more padding than that for him to ride it! the back end is made from a kinda machine called a veedoubleu, an' its rear bumper is a curved tree! mom took a picture but was in a hurry, so it's blurry an' you'll just hafta imagine. you kin see somma the same wood if you biggify the picture--it's in fronta the pedals an' behind the passenger seat. (an' you kin see dad waitin' patiently in our big maroon machine while mom takes the picture. he's good that way, waitin' for mom to do her camera thing. he hadda drive around twice before he could find a parking spot close by.)

tabbie tuesday

i am furry proud of myself. i found a safe place to hide from the brown woofie and nitro while they chase each other through the house. i can see efurrywhere they go, but they haven't found me yet. i thought this was a clever spot, yet My Mommy found me almost right away! how do mommies DO that?!

yesterday, the brown woofie was my friend, though. nitro was waiting to bushwhack me: he was in front of the chair i was hiding behind, an' he had his butt all up inna air, waggling it like he was gonna charge. an' the woofie ran ofur an' chased him away! when she came back, i went ofur an' sleeked on her to thank her. so she slurped me; it took me a LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG time to unruffle my furs, but i wasn't mad.

peeyes: there reason there is a place for me to get into the hidey-hole is acause the brown woofie's tail mashed the clear stuff to smithereens when she was tail-wagging acause daddy had come home!

monorail mancat monday!

a light in silence for our furriends . . .

we 'members oscar

i 'members him 'cause i nefur heard of a puppycat before, an' he looked just like what i thought a perfect puppycat should look.
--xingxing

i 'members him 'cause he was a happy kitty an' allus had good stuff to say to effuryone!
--edmund

i remember him because he was loving and giving, adopting cat-children, and making them feel special.
--nelson

i 'members him acause he looked just like me, an' us gorgeous gingers stick togefur like brofurs.
--nitro

we'll all miss him so much. we're glad we had the chance to know him. we knows we'll meet him someday, an' that'll be great! party on, li'l buddy!!

halp! i'm being hatched!!

tabbies: comfy is as comfy does!

whoop whoop whoop!!!!

we are furry proud of our edmund, who won a prize in monty q's contest!
thanks to efurryone who entered, an' special thanks to monty & his mombean!!

he thanks you with his laser eyes!!

purrs for anastasia . . .

oh, blessed ones, please return our anastasia to us!!!
we purrrays for her safe return wif faith an' love!!

NEW VISHUS DEER ALERT!!

OH, WOE, WOE, WOE!!!
BEWARE, you sea-side and lake-side kitties!! not only can the vishus deer creep up on you from the underbrush, they can sneak up through the waves, where you would least expect it!!! who knew they could swim???this brave but foolhardy fisherman barely escaped being eaten while on his own boat. he caught the vishus deer swimming sneakily up to raid his boat for tender yung joosy cats!!maybe he whapped it onna head wif an oar an' drug it aboard. we dunno WHY he wanted it in his boat. later on (we figger it got to threatening him), he put it back onna beach nearby. obviously, he doesn't haf any kitties at home, or he woulda left it inna lake!

thieving thursday

tabby snoozeday tuesday

furry furriend friday

here's a kitty who has a nomss, and is a TRUE friend!!

furrsday furrteen

things our mom does to drive us crazy:

1. sheds her long, curly head furs all ofurr our soft, catfur-padded resting places. it tangles our lovely short fluff into wads that roll efurrywhere, an' then she yells at US for shedding when she sees 'em.
   
2. makes "fffft fffft fffft" sounds to scare us into thinking the squirt bottle is nearby (an' it works--that's the embarrassing part).
   
3. holds our heads in wrasslin' grips an' picks eye-boogers outta our eyes. if we wanted 'em gone, we'd wipe 'em ourselfs. we has paws, after all.
   
4. feeds the woofies first, when it's obviously US who are just skin and bones.
5. laughs at us when we make fox paws when we jumps--at least she thinks they are fox paws. we MEANT to do that.
6. won't share even the least little bit of her peanut butter sammich at her breakfast time during the workdays, although we are pitifully thin and weak, since it's been two naps since dad fed us.
   
7. remembers efurry little thing we do wrong ("dammit, cat, is yer face in those cheetos again? git outta there!"), and nefurr even mentions all the times we could have eaten the cheetos but didn't. mostly because they keep them in the cupboard, but still . . .
8. makes us share her lap. absolutely unacceptable. I'M the king of the lap *no, I AM* *whatyoutalkingabout? I AM!* *you boys are just silly. efurrybody knows I am the QUEEN of laps!* (. . . long, noisy, acrimonious discussion ensues . . . issue is tabled due to heavy schpritzing by mom.)
   
9. says that every man jack of us is going to the pound if she finds one more unauthorized pee spot. well, she won't authorize any of the ones we want! what are we supposed to do in the face of uncooperativeness like that? right; so we do it.
   
10. turns a blind eye and a deaf ear to our pleas for snacks when she's home at lunchtime. that leaves one eye that sees and one ear that hears, and she STILL doesn't unnerstand, an' won't make wif the treats!
11. goes back to sleep on weekends after getting up to feed us so dad can get a little extra sleep--doesn't she realize that there are post-prandial obligations, like petting and skritching and refilling of water bowls and dangling of toys? dad has not taught her furry well.
    
12. keeps on nipping our claws off just when they get to that perfect razor-sharpness. so what if they snag her clothes? we could be shredding her skin with them, but no; she doesn't think of that.
    
13. thinks that newspapers are something she should be "reading", when they are clearly meant for lolling on by cats. sometimes she even spreads them ofurr us! we puts the bitey on 'em until she gets the message!
    

wordless wednesday

does anycat want some fur extensions?

we gots enough fluff here (not the greyish-green stuff--that's just plain ol' grass . . .) from xena's last brushing to make a sphynx into a persian!! we've included mom's size 7 1/2 shoe for some perspective.

sometimes you feel like a rub . . .

sometimes you don't!*MOOOOOOOOMMMMMM! QWEEEE-YUT!!!*

the vultures are circling . . .

it's TREAT time!!

(almost) wordless wednesday

for those of you who wondered . . . it is a trash can, but it isn't trash. it's the woofies' food; the beans buy 50# bags, slit them open, an' put bag an' all in the can. the lid was sposed to inhibit sampling, but nitro figgered out on the second day how to pop the lid, so it usually has one of those stretchy cords with hooks holding it down.

tabbie toesie (an' a glimpse of tummy) tuesday!

here's our efurr-furry, cranky sisfur, gettin' some quality time on mom's lap.

gramma useta complain about her fuzzy cat's long toe furs, an' could nefurr unnderstand why the poor kitty fought her so hard and drew so much blood while she trimmed 'em. after all, that lectric razor was bran' new an' surely wasn't pullin' the hairs out!

uhhhhh, gramma? noise? you fink maybe it was a little scary for the kitty, haffin' that loud buzzin' thing nibblin' at her toezies while you held her down?

beans. sweartabast.

life is good

here i am, meditating on the joys of being a beloved kitty. i gets lotsa chin an' throat skritches. i gets fresh water an' food i don't hafta chase or share twice a day. it nefurr rains on me. nothing chases me or tries to hurt me (except the boycats, and they don't mean it). My Mommy brushes me, an' it feels good, an' i look more prettier. i'm nefurr too cold an' usually not too hot. i has my own bed an' my own litterbox, if i asks for them. My Mommy kisses me onna nose an' tells me i'm the furry best xingy inna whole world--that really makes me feel special! i gets treats efurry day, an' i don't even hafta ask for 'em--they just hand 'em out!! once i gots little dried fishes from pretty luna in spain--an' My Mommy has saved 'em inna frijamerator just for me. once in a while, i gets to eat one in my own room, so the boycats can't steal it; it is LICIOUS, an' i purrs nicely when she gives it to me to thank her. she sez she loves me acause i am soft an' pretty an' purry. an' that's furry good. life is good. i'm glad. --xingxing

ride 'em, cowcat!!

mom was bended ofurr to take a close-up of nitro. ed just sauntered ofurr from the counter where he was nappin' an' climbed aboard to settle in for hairs- an' ear-nuzzling! she made him disembark after snapping this picture. by the time she was through, nitro had moved on . . . an' she hadda go find her back brace.

harmony restored

ok, so mom's made up wif cocoa. mom told us that she knew, efen as it happened, that cocoa was just being a dawg, but it hurt her so drefful to see a little life end that her brain just went off-planet for a minute.

she splained that the ofurr labadores that have lived wif us have been chasers who wouldn't know what to do wif a critter if they caught it. one time, thor-of-blessed-memory treed a squirrel onna carport post an' he coulda easily stood up a bit an' grabbed it, but he just wanted to see it up close. so it jumped down on his head an' ran all the way down his back an' jumped from his butt into the bushes. he was so startled that he nefurr even moved! so cocoa's behavior was a real shock. we's seen her chase before, but she's nefurr caught anyfing an' mom nefurr dreamed she would.

well, we asked her: ferbastsake, mom--think about a semitruck meetin' a bicycle. who's gonna win, even if the truck doesn't mean any harm? she hadda agree.

so all's well between them. mom is speakin' to her again, an' played wif her out in the yard for a long while. here she is, wantin' to go back out--but dad's mowing an' she hasta stay in now. she's not at all afurraid of the mower machine, an' she trots along right beside him an' it--he's worried she'd get hit by something flying outta the bottom of it.

stoopid cocoa!

mom's cryin', an' it's all cocoa's fault. when mom got home for lunch, she let her out to go pee, an' cocoa ran an' grabbed a robin an' kilt it even though mom was yellin' at her to stop before she even got to the birdie. broke its neck. it had just caught a big ol' worm, an' it wasn't even halfway swallowed yet. mom lost her cool and whacked cocoa onna head wif her shoe to make her let go of the birdie. when she picked it up to go bury it, she saw that it had a white coating ofur one eye, so it nefurr even saw the damdog coming. we hopes it wasn't one of the little fev-vers we watched grow up onna carport this year. that would be too sad. we're furry glad we don't go outside an' do bad things, 'cause gettin' whacked onna head wif a shoe would prolly kill us!

mom's still cryin', an' cocoa's got a time out inna bafroom, 'cause mom don't wanna lay eyes on her. she's gonna be there a long, long, long time. mom's goin' back to work an' won't be home until after six. if cocoa's lucky, dad'll get home before that.

damdog, makin' our mom cry. she really suffers when little things get hurt or die, an' seein' it happen has just borked her brain. are your beans this goofy? it's not like it was one of us or anything. guess she just loves all li'l critters, even ones she doesn't know.

widebody wednesday

need we say more?

YAY!!! dad's better

poor ol' dad is no longer green-faced. the pee-problem doctor told him the rock was only 1 anna haff centymeters, too little to worry about needin' a noperation, so that's good. what's bad is that until the rock comes out by itself, he's gonna have these hurtin' spells. so if it hurts again, he has medysin he can take for the hurty. or maybe it's gone already. nobean knows. at least he knows what it is now an' isn't afurraid somethin' permanently gnarly is happenin' to his innards.

one of the beans who comes in to dad's store says he had a rock like that, too. only his was 11 anna haff centymeters big. dad thinks his hurts like pushin' a tater through a straw, but that ofurr poor bean was tryin' to push a nellyfunt!

thanks to all of you who worried and purred wif us!!

an' now, on with the show:we was good brofurs tonight: we helped nelson while he ate supper. we watched his chows so they din't run away while he was getting a drink of water! why does mom holler on us when we do this?? she says we makes him nervous. what's to be nervous about? it's not like it's bean food or anything else good, like hammm. we wouldn't put the bitey on his chows. nefurr. not us.

green faced dad

yesterday afternoon dad turned kinda green in the face an' whimpered a lot, so after supper mom took him away in the big red truck to the bean ER. they din't come home until after the middle of the night. there was a furry smart CAT at the ER who looked him ovurr furry closely inside an' out, an' then told the ofurr bean vets that he has a rock in his kid me. now he hasta go see anofurr bean vet who specializes in pee problems to get it out. we are furry proud to know that one of our kind was so smart and contributed to his care. we will continue home care, if he lets us. although so far, he has refused alla fishie flakes we has offered him.

since today is sunday an' alla bean vets are out golfin', he's takin' some medysin that makes him smile a lot. we thought that meant we could go cuddle on his lap but he keeps shovin' us off. that's ok; we'll wait until he naps (which he's doin' a lot of, too), an' make ourselves at home!

since there are more bean vets and probly an operation in his future, mom sez she may not be home to turn on the puter much for a couple of days. we just won't know until the pee problem doctor tells him what's happenin'. they told us not to fret, that dad'll be fine, but routines might be upset for a day or two. we hopes this doesn't mean we're gonna get fed late.

we would certainly like to know how he got that rock in there in the first place. so would he; he swears he would nefurr do it again, if he knew!

fev-ver friday

lookit the li'l fev-ver who was peepin' an' chirpin' outside our back door!! he was hollerin' for his mama to come feed him, an' she was alla way ofurr here inna yard!he din't act like he wanted to play wif us, although we 'vited him through the window wif great big smiles, so he flew up onna shed roof, an' mama joined him there.

edmund's meme

skeezix tagged me for a meme! i'm SO proud!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
i wasn't here yet.

What were you doing a year ago?
sleeping

What are your five favorite snacks?
temptations, fishie flakes, cream, real live dead shrimp, and ice cream

Five songs you know all the words to:
i'm not furry musical. all i can 'member is "i'm a little peecat" that mom sang to each of us when we was little:

i'm a little peecat, short and stout.
my tail is my handle, my mouf is my spout.
when i get a hairball
then look out--
i'll hack an' cough an' urk it out!

Five things you would do if you had a million dollars:

make homes for alla homeless kitties an ofur critters
make free critter hospitals for all critters
take miss midnight on a world tour
buy a nip ranch
buy anofurr nip ranch

Five bad habits:

poopin' outside the box
hauntin' xing while she's eatin'
hauntin' nels while he's eatin'
gettin' cranky while i do nip
puttin' the bitey on mom's chin when she's not expectin' it

Five likes:

miss midnight
warm laundry
doin' nip
nappin' on mom's frontal appendages
whippin' up on nitro

Five things i'll nefur wear again:
efurrything but my own lovely fluffy furrs

Five favorite toys:

the nip bananna
bugs
pink fev-ver boa
mom's hairs
anyfing that crinkle-crackles

I tag:
oh, gosh, i dunno who's already been tagged! ok, i tags:

1. miss midnight, my sweet kittygirl
   
2. finnie, of the carolina cats
3. toby, if he'll come outta retirement
4. flynn, of eric 'n' flynn
   
5. miss patches, of the big piney woods cats
   

widebodied wednesday

sir edmund the extremely floofy, and an innocent bystander, nels. nels looks quite large next to edmund due to the foreshortened view of ol' swagbelly. trust me, there's no comparison--nels weighs 9.8 lbs, ed comes in at 23! >;-) nitro)