12 August 2006

Brave Officer Fred

he wore a handsome tabby suit and a badge on his collar. he was brave and helped catch bad beans who did wrong things. and yesterday he went to the rainbow bridge. we are proud to know that poodins like him are around to help other kitties. you can read about him here:

we send meows, head-butts, and purrs of sympathy to his beans!

YAY! the dog's in trouble

nitro sez:

yesterday morning, when She got up, we heard Her start hollering as soon as she went into the living room. we knew it it wasn't us that was gonna get the rough edge of her tongue, 'cause we'd all been in the kitchen 'cept xing, who was in her own room (where The Boy that belongs to Him and Her useta sleep, but he has hs own sleeping place somewhere else now).

the brown dog, cocoa, was inside the house instead of outside, 'cause He had felt sorry for her and didn't want to leave her out in the rain when He left for work. even though she's got her own doggie-house in the yard! i've never seen her melt in water--she actually likes it, 'cause she's a laberadore--so i don't understand why He did that.

since She was still asleep, and the blonde dog, xena, is old and doesn't like to play much, and we usually aren't in the mood to play that early in the day, she made her own fun. she cleaned off the end table beside Her reclining chair and chewed up the contents. a pen, a pencil, a sculpting toy with a pollymer clay handle, a package of pollymer clay (chewed and spit out like gum; no technicolor poop this time, but there has been before), 3 plastic bags of little beads, some papers, and an empty soda can. i bet that cocoa could have an exciting career in the high-paying, fast-paced world of aluminum recycling--she shredded the can into such little pieces, you could hardly see them any more! (now they are waiting to see if instead of technicolor poop, maybe it will be shiny instead.)

so She was pretty awake by this time (and probably some of the neighbors, too), and got the telephone to call Him at work. wow, was she mad. we heard Her tell Him that She didn't care if it was raining hammers outside, if He ever left cocoa inside in the morning again, they would have to pay some guy named hell. i don't know why; maybe he's the guy they got all the stuff cocoa tore up from.

but i really owe her big-time: she shredded the squirt bottle, too. gosh, am i glad to see that gone! *silent meow* *kitty smile*

11 August 2006

another dance lesson

xing writes:

last night, my Daddy and Mommy were sitting in their reclining chairs so nitro and i could sit on the foot parts (respectively; we would never sit together, even though i think he is maybe a little less stinky than the other boycats). Daddy's left ankle was resting on his right thighbone.

after a while, nitro started playing with Daddy's jeans leg, patting and working his way up towards the knee. finally, Daddy looked close to see what nitro was doing, and HAH!!

Daddy leaped up and started doing the same dance steps that Mommy did a couple nights ago, but he wasn't yelling. then he swatted his knee and showed nitro a flat spider, and told him he was supposed to be taking care of things like that, not playing around.

then he let cocoa licky the spider off his hand. nitro was mad; he wanted to eat it after he played with it a while. Daddy understands that kitties gotta play with bugs, but says when it comes to him being the playing field, all bets are off!

*smirk* =^..^=

10 August 2006

five funny things

today scooby, shaggy, and scout said in their blog, "well this is getting around so we won't tag anycat specifically, just jump in & blog about your 5 habits and your humans 5 habits. it's fun!" so we will!

  1. is spastically fearful of thunderstorms, and can hear thunder in the next county, even when the weather radar doesn't show rain!
  2. eats special K-D food to help him pee off excess liquid, so he doesn't get congestive heart failure anymore and cough and cough and cough.
  3. will only sit with his tushie on your lap to be petted; his front paws and forearms must be gripping the chair arm. maybe he's afraid the new madrid fault will cut loose!
  4. loves tomato sauce and cheeze doodles; separately, but probably together, too.
  5. sparkles in the sunlight, like he had tiny little micro-diamonds on the ends of his furs!
  1. thinks Her chest is his personal domain, even though he can't perch up there anymore, only sit his fat butt on her lap and stretch up over Her bumps to knead Her neck and any hair that spills down over Her shoulder.
  2. loves to eat people hair.
  3. gets absolutely big-eyed ripped by anything menthol (except Vicks Vap-o-Rub), as well as 'nip.
  4. loves to have his back brushed, but bites the brush if it moves towards his belly. he gets dreadlocks in his armpits if She doesn't keep after him.
  5. is positive that She will forget to feed him while She is carrying around the plastic bucket and putting kibbles into everybody's dishes, so he dances backwards in front of Her, nipping at Her toes all the way to his dish, yipping inbetween nips. She says She's gonna punt him someday, but She's already broken a toe punting something almost as heavy as him, so he won't go very far. (written by nitro; could you tell?)
  1. is named for His orange bass boat. well, they are both orange and feisty.
  2. has a death wish (which She says may be granted more times than 9 if he persists in his behavior) because he continues to burgle food off plates that are in use by humans.
  3. will squint in the very face of the squirt bottle when threatened, but will not move until blasted right between the runnin' lights (as He puts it). stupidity, or bravery? YOU make the call . . .
  4. likes to lie on the foot of a recliner chair and play-fight with cocoa, the younger dog, until cocoa gets to pokin' him in the side with her big fat nose and his innards get all de-arranged. then he runs for cover.
  5. will let Him cuddle him like a baby, and even fall asleep while being held that way.
xing lu:
  1. has the softest angel fur of any cat She has ever known, and doesn't shed much (for which the boycats make up 10 times over).
  2. lets Her hold her very tight and never makes a sound.
  3. was obviously well-cared for, groomed, and spayed when He found her in the bag. like He says, "wtf?"
  4. sleeks up against cocoa and xena, and only gets hissy when cocoa pokes her really hard with her nose.
  5. is missing her left upper fang (all healed up when she came to our house), and has a red spot the size of an "o" in this text down on the bottom of her left iris, which makes the 2-leggers wonder just what happened in her other life. again, see Point #3.
  1. likes to eat sweet pickles (gherkins, if she can get them) with Her macaroni and cheese.
  2. eats a peanut butter sammich and drinks a cup of coffee every day for breakfast.
  3. would love to watch Young Frankenstein, The Frisco Kid, and Blazing Saddles (all uncut) each day for the rest of her life.
  4. loves to make sparkly jewelry with crystals made by some guy named sworeoffski.
  5. is allergic to cats.
  1. missed His air force uniform so much when He got out of the service, that He started a cub scout pack so he could get a new one! ;-)
  2. stays as thin as a skellington even though he eats a whole tupperware cereal bowl of ice cream every night. right after His dry-roasted peanut binge and about 11,000 m&m candies. or maybe they're w&w candies. we can't tell; it seems to be about half and half.
  3. can sometimes make Her laugh until she has to use an inhaler.
  4. has finally learned after about 13 kitties that kitties is as kitties does, and no longer loses his cool when ed poops just outside the litterbox.
  5. is the best kind of "good ol' boy"--helpful, hard-working, honest, loyal, moral, AND ethical. (ok, She helped us with this one . . .)

09 August 2006


nitro here:

well, She gave us a good laugh last night--made us start wishing we could laugh out loud!

it was close to the 2-legger bedtime, and He was sitting in edmund's chair and looking at the big box that has moving pictures on it. (there's hardly ever anything on there for us, but once in a while there'll be winged people or lesser 4-leg people making noises, and then that really gets our attention. nelson even watches nascar, sometimes. how silly. he doesn't even like to ride in the car. but i digress . . .)

so while He sat, She went to stand in the glass box that makes you get soppy, yucky wet. all of a sudden, the box door banged open and She was running (2-leggers look really funny when they do that) through the living room, flapping a towel and yelling! She didn't even take time to put on any of that smooth funny-color fake fur they cover themselves with all the time!! water was splashing everywhere, even on us, and the yelling went on and on, until He could make out what She was saying: SPIDER! SPIDER! SPIDER! He grabbed the towel while she did some very strange dance steps and kept hollering.

one of those little 8-legger people had curled up for a nap in her towel while it hung on the side of the glass box, and when She used it to dry off, they came nose to nose, and she started running.

after He looked all over the towel, She grabbed it back and started whappin' Him with it because He was laughing out loud. good thing we can't do that after all, i guess ;-)

08 August 2006

here's the rest of us!

from top to bottom:

xing lu (we're told it means "fortunate jade" in chinese--lucky 'cause He found the bag she was in, and jade for her green eyes), and who is a mama's girl, nyah, nyah;-)

sir edmund percival hillary (aka sir edmund the rotund), who thinks he's special and has sole right to perching on Her chest area since he was born on Her birthday, and

nitro, a gingery little ginger cat who is the (mostly unwilling) love object of the lesser 4-legger known as cocoa. no cat has ever been wet-mopped by a dog so often as he has. maybe he tastes gingery.

07 August 2006

We're here, but we're not sure how to do this . . .

ok, so we got a blog. She (the female human) hardly ever lets us use the puter, and so we're a little clumsy at it. but she's been reading us the stories of psychokitty max, his little buddy, buddah, and millie, and lots of other kitties, so we thought maybe we'd dip our paws in the blogosphere. She said it wouldn't get them all messy, like ink or paint.

since we don't ordinarily work very well together, it took us the better part of an hour to figger out how to get nels' picture up there; don't hold yer breath on seeing the rest of us. this is blogging by committee, so it may lack a few things here or there when we can't agree--like on who's going to spell, who's going to type, who's going to collect news items, and so on.

i'm nels, one of those "holstein" cats--white with a black hat and ears, tail, and just one spot on my left flank. i'm the oldest and the smartest. i've been with humans much longer than any of us, and know lotsa human talk. but i'm old, i see a little fuzzy, and am kinda gnarled up, so won't be typing much.

ok, it's my turn--i'm ed, a big, fluffy cat, greyish-brown tabby, semi-long hair. i was named for sir edmund percival hillary because i REALLY liked to climb when i was a kitten. Her haid ****dangit, that's H-E-A-D, you hillbilly cat**** ****rowrrrr**** ****fttttttt**** ****sssssssss**** *ahem* (sorry, that's publishing by committee for you) was my favorite perch.

yeah, but now he weighs 23 lbs and couldn't climb up on her h-e-a-d in the first place, and if he did, he'd smother her. and that'd be bad; She feeds us about half the time. of course he could stand to lose a few ****rowrrrr**** ****fttttttt**** ****sssssssss**** ****jeez, ed, lemme go!**** pounds. oh, yeah--i'm nitro, the little marmalade runt who's into everything and everybody's business.

and i'm xing lu, the luckiest kitty in the world--right up there with millie--since my daddy found me (they call him "He", but he's my Bestest Daddy, and She's my Champion Mommy). well, maybe millie's a little luckier--her housemates like her. not like these dirty boycats that chase me and corner me and slap me until i squeal. but when i'm on mommy's lap, then i know i'm safe 'cause i can hide in her armpit and they never see me there.

anyway, She says it's time to put the computer to bed (She talks about sleep mode, so it must be true), and we have to go rest up for the nightly catalympic trials. well, She calls them "trials". or maybe it's us that are the trials. nah; we're not trial anything--we're perfectly good cats! we'll see you another time...............