08 July 2010

nope, sorry--you ain't goin'!

ed! (what?) you gotta get offa my purse! (nuh-uh.) yeah, you do--it's 7:45 already. (i'm comfy here.) ed, you could get comfy on a washboard! scramola, bud! (nope.) sonny, i'm gonna be late for work. if i'm late for work, the boss will get gripey. (so? it's not like YOU'RE not gripey. like right now. so you'll be a matched pair.) i'm gripey because you are a stubborn-stubborney, as granpa joe useta say. and if the boss gets gripey enough, he might fire me. (so? then you can stay home and i can use YOU for a mattress; you're softer than this purse, that's for sure.) ed, if i don't work, then there's no green papers. (and?) have you forgotten that green papers buy stinky goodness? and crunchies? and temptations? and . . . nip?

*scramble-scramble-scramble-thump!* [cat feathers fly everywhere]

ah; i thought you'd see it my way. [walks off, muttering: damn, i wish i didn't have to go to work today]

(mom? i can fix that, y'know.)


07 July 2010

i helps My Mama be more beautyfuller

efurry once in a while, My Mama gets a craving fur earrings. most times, she makes 'em, acause she can get just what she wants that way.

but sometimes she buys 'em when it's too hard to make 'em, an' it's a hard decision, requiring much deliberation. she asked me for my opinion yesterday, acause since i am a ladycat, i haff good taste--which is different from tasting good, you know--an' because she wouldn't ask the boycats on a bet, because they don't haff good taste. OR taste good, i can promise you.

so i showed her the ones i liked bestest, an' she is gonna pick from among 'em. these are my most favorites, but she will hafta save green papers for a long time. an' we mussen't nefur tell My Daddy how many papers she sends to get them, or she sez there will be "ruckshuns"! i asked her if that was fibbin' (acause we ain't spos'd to fib) but she sez there's some things boys just don't need to know if us ladies are to preserve the shalom bais (peace inna household). i think it's all right not to tell him as long there is still enuf green papers to buy my stinky goodness!!