look but DON'T TOUCH!!

My Mama makes lotsa pretty fings frum beads an' string in my room where I let her keep her stuff, an' she lets me snoopervise from my faverite perch on her lap! But when I try to help, she gets all flusterpated an' sometimes asks if I want flyin' lessons. I don't unnerstand what flyin' hasta do wif beads. An' I must admit, it is furry, furry difficult to keep my paws offa those sparkly, rolly little things. Evenshully, she gets pretty nervus an' puts me down onna ground an' gets my faverite fevver-an-jingle-bell-onna-string. we play race an' catch until I am good an' tired, so I go haf a drinka water an' take a nap. It's a win-win fur me!

underground kitty

when mommer's foot blankie fell offa the footrest onna reclinin' chair last nite, dammit burrowed unner it like he was a mole. mommer hadda pull back the edge just to get this picture of him. then she covered him back up, an' he nefur moved the whole time! he stayed there for almost a halfa hour. then when she gotted up to go to the human litterbox, he reached out an' snagged her foot. she stumbled an' danced fur a minnit, an' he had enuf time to beat her to the little room, where he tripped her again. she sed he was lucky she din't hafta go real bad. we fink she was the lucky one! we also fink he wasn't asleep unner there; he was jus' bidin' his time!

sleepin' wif the emeny

aha! now we knows why iggy missed our team syncronized nappin' practice yestiddy. he's goned ofur to the emeny. we shoulda knowed; he's had a crush on the dbd all his life, an' she only hafs eyes for nitro, so he takes enny chance he gits where she'll let him cuddle up. guess he'll be back wif us when she wakes up an' notices him there. poor guy.

smells like team spirit ...

we herd mommer sayin' that she was gonna change the flower reeth onna front door to one wif red leafs, onna counta monday was the beginnin' of ottum. that means it's gonna get colder soon, an' we figgered we better practice our team's syncronized nappin' so's to find the best, most warmest positions. we dunno where igmu was in this configgerashun, but he needs to show up fer th' next practice: ed's ol' bald asterisk needs a blankie.

abandon th' cat o' nine tails??????

since our gramma evelyn's norsqueegian, an' nitro's furs are red like hers (useta be), nitro finks he's  norsqueegian, too, an' come up wif the idear that we should leaf th' cat o' nine tails in drydock next year on MLaP Day an' sail a vikin' longship. we debated an' debated an' iggy sed he'd do some research befur we made a decishun.

furst, he came in an' tole us that vikin's was really mostly peaceful traders, not allus th' crazy berserkers that mooveys want us to belief. the only thing bein' if you din't wanna trade wif 'em, then they turned inta th' berserkers an' took what they wanted inna furst place! so that sorta sounded like kitties to us, an' we begun to warm to the idear.

then he went an' studied some more, an' found out that if the wind din't blow hard enuf, we'd hafta ROW th' dang thing. an' finely, he sed there wasn't no dingy or rowboats--if we wanted ta get to shore, we'd hafta W-A-D-E!!  (fizzikal labor!!! no naps!!! wet paws an' tail feathers!!!) 

so we promply whupped the tar outta nitro fur even THINKIN' we'd do that, an' went back to our naps. wet paws, indeed. *hmpf*

meow like a pirate day, part the eighth

Nitro the Red (soto voce):
*grumblegrumblegrumblehissspitgrumble* *head sunk on paws*

Last Mate Dammit (plunks self down on bench. cuddles up):  meeyarr, Furst Mate Nitro. *lick* ye be in a right foul mood t'day. what be thy prollem? *lick* we be huddled up in a truly fine snuggery (although i be some wary as to th' speed o' the service) wi' a nexcellent array o' potions to soothe the savage soul, an' vittles fit fr' a piratekingcat!

Nitro the Red: i'll be thankin' ye t' quit slurpin' me. i be not subject to yer blandishments. *cuff* *lick*

Last Mate Dammit: hah! ye licked me back, din'tcha?

Nitro the Red:  aye, that be true enough, sprat. but this be Meow Like a Pirate Day, an' whilst we be meowing in the prescribed manner, here we be, landlocked an' bereft o' our beloved Cap'n Meow Fang. 

Last Mate Dammit:  why be that, big bruvver?

Nitro the Red:  hush thy gob, thou baitfish. i be not thy bruvver aboard ship, i be thy... ahhh, dogpuckey. we be not aboard ship. bruvver it is. *lick* to continue: we be landlocked becawse th' good ship Cat o'Nine Tails be in drydock after that li'l miscalculation last month ... 

an' the scurvy drydockers say t'will be yet weeks befur the necessary parts be here frum Chiner.  an' Cap'n Meow Fang be havin' a nappointment t'day at th' Hair Club fer Mencats, onnacounta his hinder parts be summat lackin' in follicles. wif autumn an' winter approachin', he be quite conserned.

Last Mate Dammit:  but why can't we just sail fur tropical lands when it be cold? 

Nitro the Red:  betweenst thee an' me, my lad, there be more to it than the cold. i finks our Cap'n be just the teentsiest bit vain, an' likes not the image that glares back at him from the lookin' glass. but noise that not abroad, er i'll be forced t'keelhaul ye. *lick*

Last Mate Dammit:  arrrr, ye know i'll be silent as the grave. *silent meow* but where be iggy an' xing? 

Nitro the Red:  i knows not. since th' Cat o' Nine Tails be laid up an' shore leave were declared, they haf not been seen. all i knows is, they be not together. xing be prolly tucked up inna frilly ladycat's apartment, as she do love her creature comforts. iggy prolly lolls inna window somewhere down at th' nearest pet shop, whiffin' guppies an' neon tetras, such bein' as close as we be t' the blessed sea in these parts.

Last Mate Dammit:  y'know, when i entered a while ago, there were a ladycat at the bar who slipped me a map an' sed it would direct us to a great treasure. would it not please th' Cap'n if we could put us onna trail o' our next adventure? i haf inscribed a plan or two onnit ...

Nitro the Red:  *rolling, stretching* aye, that it would. he hath been no little moody since that calico ladycat bid him take hisself out onna next tide when we visited th' Catnip Isles. he were right put out, an' t'wouldn't surprise me a bit did it haff summat t' do wif our wee mishap last month. he were drivin', ye know.

so, sonnydammitjim, let us see this map. *finally raises head from paws*

*eyeballs roll wildly* OOOOOOO! a FEVVER!!!!  *claws slice through the air, he leaps to the table, the feather becomes unmoored from its inkwell, and an errant breeze from an open window wafts it aloft where it makes its way outside* *coiled spring steel muscles in Nitro's hindquarters take over, and he, too, is aloft and on his way through the window*

Last Mate Dammit: big bruvver! big bruvver!! will ye not wait fur me?? i cannot jump as far as ye ... *scurries over table and onto floor. skittering for all he is worth, he rounds the bar and vanishes out the door*

big bruvver!!! ... big bruvver!!! ... big bruvver!!!  *fade out*

new playhouse!

we haf discofered the bestest new playhouse! mommer assures us that it's been here (an' at the old house befur that) but we dunno HOW it's ascaped our attention all this time!

gosh, these "auto-generated gifs" makes us kinda dizzy!

kindly notice edmund's baldified @$$. he is STILL yankin' out wads of fur. the v-e-t hafs tested him fur thigh-roids an' diabeetus but he don't gots them. he shottified him wif a steer-roid, an' he hafs slowed up fur a while, but we don't think it'll efur grow back fast enuf to catch up. mommer will hafta knit him some panties soon! we will pay good green papers to see her put them on him!

edmund's unintentionally tryin' to blog ...

ed jumped up onna keyboard from the rolly-chair an' (insert newton's 3rd law here). now he's tryin' to figger out how to get back onnit!

we is laffin' an' laffin'! (an' the computer is screamin' "55555555555555555555") while he stands there.

dammit's toezie tuesday

mousie monday

yes, mousies feel like hurlin' hairballs on mondays, too!

(akshully, ed gnaws off they's li'l noses an' then their stuffy insides asplode. he ain't nefur gotted a REAL mousie, but we can't count the number of toy mousies he's made go ded flat!)

workin' hard on furrrriday

Sometimes, sleepin' is uphill work!

we will ... always

xing lu -- how i spends my summer vacation

... an' mosta my days inna year! you must wunder what i do in my suite since i don't keep company wif any of those boycats. am i lonesome? no, not at all.  My Mama makes sure i haf lotsa toys to keep me busy, an' i haf two big windows to watch the whole neighborhood an' alla the two-leggers, four-leggers, an' winged peoples from. i can lay inna sunshine in my Princess Throne or a little farther back inna shade onna puffy-fluffy quilt that sits in My Mama's blue recliner chair (acause i lets her come inta this room when she needs to keep her head from asplodin' when My Daddy is watchin' yet anofur WWII program). an' if i needs a nap, i haff all of the above places plus three comfy kitty beds--i likes the one inna closet best when there's thunder boomers, acause it's quieter an' i can't see the flashies. an' it's close to my potty box if i gets the urge!

an' then! an' THEN! 

My Mama comes to visit wif me efurry day! i sits on her lap an' she pets me an' tells me how beauyful i am an' combs my soft furs an' she de-dingleberries me (i can't HELP it i haf so much beautyful soft furs on my cute little hiney) an' sometimes when i lets her, she clips my dainty little clawrs. then we watches fishey mooveys or birdy mooveys or she looks at bookface or bloggies an' tells me what's goin' on inna werld so's i can improve my mind an' not be "just a pretty face". 

an' when she sez that it's time fur her to leaf, i chirp a little song to her an' jump down offa her lap an' lead the way to the cabinet where my treatsies are. then i chirps the second verse of the song an' stare meaninfully at the door. she opens it an' gets the crinkly little bag an' gifs me five yummy crunchies! no more, no less. 

an' once a week, onna day befur the noisy rug-sucker comes to visit, she gifs me a BIGGGGG sprinkle of what the boycats calls "kitty krak" an' i gets all drooly an' dreamy an' goes away in my head to a pretty place fur a while. it's pretty much fun--i could almost wish that the rug-sucker came more offen!

so i has a fine life here inna chez pierce. you maybe don't hear much frum me, but i'm happy. in fact, if you DO hear from me, it's prolly acause one of the boycats has hissed me off. but i'm here an' doin' fine an' thinkin' of you. i hopes you is thinkin' of me!!

mommer has put the igmuloaf aside ...

 for the second rising ...

window whiffin' is GREAT!

now, if mommer would just grow some catnips unner the window ... y'hear me, mommer?

Yeah, i hear ya. Do you promise not to claw through the screen to get at it? Do ya, huh?

 (deafening silence ... )

gettin' ready for caturday!

dammit's gettin' ready for caturday by fluffin' up his mattress!

the dbd frequently annoys nitro wif affection!

practicing for halloween

Trick or Treat!

Trick or Treat!

Give me candy 

Or smell my feet!

dammit IGGY!

mommer is FURRY peevish wif igmu. he grabbed the last bite of the left-ofur lasagna she was eatin' fur breffus yesterday--right offa her plate. she was holdin' the plate up offa the table wif her left hand acawse edmund was close enuf to breafe onnit. she thot she was keepin' it safe, but then she reached for her coffee wif her right hand, an' iggy shoved right past ed, almost knockin' him offa the table. he knew mommer couldn't clout him while her ofur hand was busy wif the coffee, so he grabbed the bite (wif alla the cheese onnit! mommer was REAL mad about THAT), then dragged it to the floor behint the table where he growled at an' smacky-pawed at the dbd while chewin' madly. the dbd made him give up some of it an' got a morsel or two herself--an' that's how the carpet got yechhhhh'd up. mommer sez there useta be a talky-box program called "get smart" where they had a "cone of silence". she wants someone to invent a "cone of cat impermeability", whutefur that is.

alla this took place just as mommer was gettin' ready to go to werk, so she said bad werds while she got out the spotbot. alla the spots were far enuf apart that she hadda run it three seperit times, so it made her really late. forchunately, all her bossman asks for when yer late is a good story, an' she came well prepared.

(oh, yeah; we also lerned that iggy's parents WEREN'T MARRIED!!!! mommer mentioned that several times.)

dammit is catware!

mommer sez that there is a software out there inna 'puter world called SpyHunter(r) annit chases an' catches bugs in yer computer. well, dammit is catware. 

we proudly presents you:

 FLYHUNTER!

(at present, only werks wif Windows; we will see about a Nandroid version later.)

an' here is proof that he werks just fine:

(please notice that there are no danglin' body parts lingerin' onna sill. his code is furry tight.)