mancat monday

articals

Captain Meow Fang’s Articles

Signed 19th September 2011

Articles of Agreement made, concluded, and agreed upon this nineteenth day of September in the third year of the Reign of our Sovereign Lord and Lady, Barack and Michelle, Between and Amongst the Cats of the Cat Blogosphere, and divers members of other amenable species aboard the good ship Cat o’Nine Tails, its Captain Meow Fang and crew, and the rest of the vessels which sail with them, further known as The Flotilla: We here have Severally and Joyntly Subscribed our Names and affixed our signs to those Presents as followeth:

Whereas the said Capt Meow Fang and the Rest of the ships Company and accompanying flotilla are now intended out on a voyage to Sea. Now those presents Witness that all parties and ship owners, for themselves their heirs and assigns doth Covenant, Promise, Grant and Agree to these items below:

ITEM THE FURRST: that the ships of the Flotilla shall be well and Sufficiently outfitted, Tacked, Equipped and Apparelled for a sea voyage, and the Company shall agree to and shall sail on such Voyage or Expedition as the said Meow Fang and Company shall think fit for the Best advantage of the flotilla.

ITEM: that whatsoever interest, profit or Advantage As Green Papers, Dishes, Goldfish, Sparkle Balls, Catnip, or any Toys, Wares, Merchandizes or Vessels or other matter or thing whatsoever that shall be found, Taken, Gotten, had or Recovered at any time or place or in any manner during the whole term of the voyage or Expedition shall be shared and Divided as followeth (That is to say): That all maimed cats of the said Company that shall be Disabled in the true service of the Voyage to the Apparent hindrance of getting their future Livelihood, before any Dividend shall be made to others, he or she or they shall have & Receive Eight hundred pieces of Kibble, or the true Value thereof it so much shall be gained, received, or procured in the said voyage.

ITEM: provided that if any crew Member of The Cat o’Nine Tales, in time of fight or in Acting or in doing for the Good of the said voyage he, she, or they Losing of a Joynt or Joynts they shall have and receive one hundred pieces of Kibble for each Joynt so Lost. This be not including the tail, for which they shall have and receive five hundred Pieces of Kibble an’ the sincere regrets of the Captain.

ITEM: that all plunder that did belong to the said prize or prizes Company Excepting Green Papers, Dishes, Goldfish, Sparkle Balls, Catnip, or any Toys, Wares, Merchandizes Whatsoever that shall be found, Taken, Gotten, upon Dock or between Docks or in the Cabin shall be free Plunder Equally to be Divided amongst the members of said Flotilla.

ITEM: it be further agreed that the Captain Meow Fang shall Next have and Receive Nine full common shares; the Commander shall have two and a half like full shares; the master shall have one and a half like full shares. The Sea-Vettie conditionally (That is) his or her Chest be well fitted with Meddysins and Auntie’s Biotiks and that he or she give Due attendance on all the said company as need shall require throughout the said voyage and for the term of one month if need be post-Expedition, shall therefore have and receive all Chyrurgeons (?) Instruments ::shivver:: and Meddysins properly Belonging to any Vessell taken, and also one hundred pieces of Kibble towards his Chest over and above his full share in Common with the said company.

ITEM: that all Disbursements shall be dully pay`d for according to agreement before any Dividend be made of the first Green Papers or goods taken as they or their Orders shall think most meet to the Advantage.

ITEM: that all and Singular the Whole Remaining part of the produce profits and Issues of the said voyage without any fraud or Concealment shall be shared and Divided amongst the said Company part & part alike, and ashore any of them shall Die or be shared and Divided amongst the said Company part & part alike.

ITEM: that whomsoever of the said Company shall first Spy a saile and the same prove to be a Prize sufficient to make them a Voyage he shall Therefore have one hundred pieces of Kibble or the Value at the choice and Appointment of the Command and the Major part of ye Company and free Entrance into the Prize.

ITEM: if any of the said Company shall During the said voyage force or Ravish any girlcat or Ladycat then he or they shall lose his or their whole share as aforesaid, and be punished at the Capts and the Companys Discretion.

ITEM: that if any Cat of the said Company shall in time of service be so influenced by toona joose or the like & incapable that he does not fight and withstand the Enemy then he or they shall be Cut off or punished according as the Capt and the Major part of the Company thinks meet.

ITEM: that if any of the said Company shall in time of Service During the said Voyage show or prove hisself a Coward then he or they Shall Lose his and their voyage as aforesaid.

ITEM: it is Mutually agreed that the full and true performance of these present Articles and every clause herein Contained each of the parties subscribed hereunder bindeth him and themselves. In Witness whereof, all the said parties to these Articles have set there paws the day & year first above Written.

Signed Sealed and Delivered in the Presence of us

Meow Fang

Nitro the Nasty

Xing the Slice

Igmu, Hell's Own Imp

let's get sumthin' straight . . .

there will be no web surfing around here until i get sufficient lovin' an' pettin', an' maybe a paw massage or two!!!!!

i has a blankie

. . . or, akshully, the blankie has me!!

APOCATLYPSE NOW!!!

you know how back on 5 january we posted that it was anofur chilly day in hell acause ed's an' xing's furs were touchin'? well, the end is truly nigh:

monday night, ed snoozed for prolly 20 minutes wif his head pillowed on xing's back. an' she knew he was there; i know, acause she looked ofur her shoulder at him an' hissed--but she din't move!! we are truly afurraid that somethin' turrible is comin'. maybe sammy's right about the aliens, although the dbd hasn't showed enny signs of learnin' to cook. (we don't fink she could even boil water, acause she can't even make the fossit spew water for her own drink bucket--the beans hasta do that fur her, an' we doubt they'd agree to get water fur her to cook 'em in;-)

mancat monday

OMC!

ed's back furs touching xing's butt??? 

xing's butt furs touching ed's back???

inconTHEEVable!!!

mencats monday on tuesday

thanks, mom & dad, fur gettin' us this wunnerful new comfy recliner chair!!
we all fits wifout no crowdin' now!
(uhhh, dad? where YOU gonna sit?)

hippo birdie, miss judi!

. . . an' many more!!

Happy New Year!!!!

We hopes each an' all of you--4-legger, 2-legger, winged, an' finned--are blessed wif health, strength, abundance an' joy this year, an' may you haf plenty of time to enjoy them wif those you love!

i'll take the high road!

 now, where can i go from here?

the road lies open before me--northward, ho!!!!

wow! i've discovered the road to new snooping territory!!

two santas, one house!

 our uncle gary, miss ginger's husband

our furriend, getzger, who does NOT haf 

a belly like a bowl fulla jelly. 

his beansister, lanie, insists that it's a bowl fulla flounder!

plaguey catsmas!!

MERRY CATSMAS!

Our Furry Best Wishes to Each an Efurry One of You, Dear Furriends!!

(clickify an' enjoy)

just 'cause i'm so cute!

smells like . . .

the feline americans! thanks, guys!!

an' thanks to all the ofur furriends who haff sended cards!! we're sorry we haff a lazy, lazy mom who just doesn't "do" cards. but we loves you, each an' all!!

it was NOT me

when mommer came home last night, she shrieked an' hollered--it was mostly dark an' she couldn't see furry well, an' she thought we had made a really big mousie go ded inna kitchen. then she hit the light switch an' an figgered out it was her "chrissmiss red" nail polish, an' she started to shriek an' holler again, but this time it was mostly werds from the bad werd list. well, whattaya expect when you leave a roly-poly object onna table where kittehs play??

howefur: i can say wif certainty that it wasn't ME. i dunno who it was, acause i couldn't see inna kitchen. it prolly wasn't xing unless she figgered out how to break outta her rooms. nitro was sleepin' mosta the day inna chair by the fire box. an' i din't see iggy much at all that day. but i know santa paws is comin', an' i am no dummy. i was sittin' right here inna liffin' room corner onna ol' chair, not doin' nuffin'. alla time. all day long. an' that's the truth . . . thpppppbt.

mancat monday guest kitteh

this is gilligan. he liffs inna nearby pet supplies store. isn't he a cutie? mom took this picture while she was playin' the fingers-creepin-ofur-the rattly-paper-bag game wif him.

inna movey below, he gets to know a little woofie. an' the li'l woofie makes her feelins known!

duck 'n' cover!

last night i was unner attack!! it was finally warm enuf to come outta the nap pile, an' i was playin' in my crinkly tunnel in fronta the sofa. the dbd was layin' onna sofa just above my head, an' all of a sudden, she asploded!!! her head wagged about a skillion times, her not inconsiderable body levitated a coupla inches offa the sofa, her ears flapped so hard i thought she was gonna fly up onna ceiling fan, an' the most nockshus schpritz flew through the airs--i was just comin' outta the tunnel an' got soaked!!! an' this is not to mention the drefful but indescribable sound that assaulted my ears! natchurly, i, ummmmmm, sauntered away slowly to get a better view of the debree field.

after a while, efurrything looked as normal as it's efur gonna look where the dbd is concerned, so i reapproached the tunnel, stoppin' to examine the dbd's nose (from which had issued the asplosion). she drew in a quick breth, an' i saw my brief life flash befur my eyes . . . the whole thing started ofur AGAIN! billions of tiny particles rusht towards me like wet, angry bees, her ears flapt, an' this time, i, uhhhhh, sauntered ofur to my safe, cozy catcave unnerneath the platform rocker. i'm stayin' here fur a while to be sure the asplosions are ofur fur good!

not today, furriends

it is 4 degrees F on our carport (that's MINUS 15.5 C for our furriends ofur the pond). we are goin' back to our snuggle pile. that is all.

(fanks to aDORAble an' eric 'n' flynn fur catchin' the oopsie onna temprachur!)

gone to the dawgs!

this is where our mom goes day-hunting. they are haffin' a company meeting, what's wrong wif this movey?? YES!! there are dawgs drippin' offa the walls and there are NO KITTIES!!!!

they useta haff a kitteh named "k.c." (kolar cat) there fur a coupla years, but she got out one night an' was gone for two nights anna day. mom an' the ofur lady inna office were SOOOOOO upset that when the folks next door finally called to say they'd found her, the other lady took k.c. home to liff at her house wif her two kittehs, because neither she nor mom wanted to liff through anofur scare like that. so k.c. still liffs wif miss nanet an' her two catbrofurs to this day, an' the dawgs has tooken ofur the office.

forgiff them, ceiling cat . . .

they know not what they did! here is late-breaking noos from our furriend getzger:

O NOES!! NOW DEH HUMAN BEANS R HELPEN DA VISHUS DERS STAE ALIVE!!!  HOWZ WE GUNNA GET DEM AWAY IF WE HELPZ ZEM, I HOPEZ MY MOM DOZENT DO DAT CUZ I BET DEY R HEAR... SUM WEARZ.

Love, Getzger
an' THIS is what he is refurrin' to! oh, lawsy, lawsy, lawsy!!!!

somecats like it

somecats don't. gettin' yer livver turned ofur, we means . . .

nitro REALLY does--you can't tell it in this still photo, but he's makin' biscuits wif his paws while coo-coo (ermm...cocoa [santa's watchin', i know]) sniffs an' licks his face!

meet me, get to know me!

tummy-tuesday, woofie edition

mencats at work

you know it's gettin' to be catsmas time when the man in bloo shorts (well, ok, a blue parka) starts leavin' toys on yer front porch!! our auntie marilyn sended us this great box wif lotsa crinkly bags innit. we played wif it all evenin' long. there was some ofur stuff innit, too, an' mom liked it better'n the bags, so we din't hafta assert our right to play wif the good stuff. beans--they just got no sense o' priorities!

look! Look!! LOOK!!!

the wunnerful miss amy of amy's house of cats made me these two marvylus pictures wif my profile on a coin--now i can write to the u.s. treasury an' PROOVE to 'em how awesome it'd be!!!

noble ed

mom finks that if there is efur a coin struck wif a cat's picture, 

it should be edmund's noble profile!

wistful wordless wednesday

maximum cuddle

ker-krunch!

edmund was a train conductor in a previous life; he still likes to punch tickets . . .

igmu eats healthy . . .

or close to it, at any rate.

iggy vs. dbd

**DINGDING** Round One

 our daddy an' bofe our grandaddies was inna militaries, an' we fink they are brave an' good. we are proud that they joined wif so many beans to keep our country safe an' strong!

thank a veteran--not just today, but efurry day!!

peeyes:  happy purrthday to our cousin, lauren!!

once again, hell freezes ofur

yes, ladycats and gentlemancats, the above-titled amazing Event of Biblical Proportions has occurred again! the hissy, squirrelly girlcat, the fat fluffy cat, an' the aggravated ginger cat all shared mom as the temperature outside (and inside) plummeted an' warmth was at a premium before dad built a fire inna firebox!! you will notice that xing gives edmund a spectacular view of her best side, while ed tries (unsuccessfully, thank bast) to light her butt on fire wif his laser eyes, an' nitro just wants to be left the heck alone to sleep.


igmu's whereabouts are unknown, which is a blessing, otherwise this "peaceful" gathering would not have occurred, iggy's penchant for stirring things up being what it is.

the cat's in the cradle . . .

(sorry the picture is fuzzy; i was trying to stifle my snickering--meower mom)

mancat ed

mancats know how to find comfy nap spots in quiet, out-of-the-way places.


however, moms, in pursuit of cuteness know how to find and disturb them with the flashybox. drat their hides!

we meows fur peace!!!!

c'mon, human beans--we're cats an' dogs, fur bast's sake.

if WE kin do it, YOU kin do it, an' that'll make a better world fur all of us!!

wordless wednesday

this is the mom speaking:

ok, i saw you boys over in that corner, whispering together. then you all sauntered to the kitchen table and one by one jumped up into your usual positions around my breakfast plate with the peanut butter sammich on it. then you, mr. instigator igmu sapa, reached over and smacked ed on the tail. as expected, he whirled around. then because no one was there, he sat back down--ON MY SAMMICH!!!! i know you all knew i wouldn't eat it after that.

my only question is, did you plan that together so that ed sitting on the sammich was the point all along? or did you younger boys tell him you were gonna do something else, then depended on him being confuzzled enough to forget to turn back around after iggy swatted him? we all know his logic has been "fuzzy" for years. i'm pretty sure it was the first choice; ed may be getting older, but i doubt that he's old enough to have forgotten which end eats the sammich and which end . . . well, you get the picture.

very clever, boys; very clever. but your cleverness got you no ill-gotten gains: the dbd got the whole sammich AND got to lick the plate where the peanut butter had squooshed out the sides of the bread after ed's ample arse landed on it. i don't even wanna know how ed's butt gets clean. keep it to yourselves.

me and the bad-cat bottle? we're gonna become best friends. we'll be watching you! ::points to eyes, points to cats::

happy meowlloween!!!

ahhhhh!!!

i love My Daddy!! last night, it got furry, furry cold out. so he made the fire box all warm an' cozy, an' me an' mom drowsed all comfy inna sleepin' chair--until he poked her an' tole her to go to bed, she was snoring!! (i was, too, but in a more ladycat-like fashion, so he din't hear me. besides, he knows better'n to poke ME.)

thankful thursday

we is awful thankful today that it' s not US in those silly costumes!!!

pretty silly

mom is just laffin' an' laffin' at this, an' thought you would enjoy it, too!

this is a public service announcement:

catsmas is coming!!!!

tabby tuesday video

mom gots a new camera, an' we likes this one acause it don't haff a flashy-thing onnit!!
she can take alla the pictures she wants! it's called a flip slide hd; we fink that means if you flip it an' it falls onna floor, it's gonna slide . . . hard!! we finks if you lissens close, you may be able to hear nitro purrin'.

the foggy, mornin' dew

mom? why is you standin' in that rainbox? i swearta bast, i don't unnerstan' yer compulsion to get wet! an' not only that, you're gettin' me an' iggy wet, too. it's so misty in here, i can't hardly see you. mom?

MOM! ARE YOU IN THERE? MOM!!!

film buff furriday

nitro, you've got to ask yourself one question: "do i feel lucky?"

well, do ya, punk?

the 'tocks of 'tober

sorry, derby--mom din't get herself in gear in time to post this yesterday for your purrthday, so here's a belated pair-o-tocks we deddycate to you . . .

ed to the left, xing to the right, making a duo of indignant 'tocks:

XING: what? you DARE to sit on My Mama while I am sitting here?

ED: youdarnbetcha! she was MY mom furst!!

XING: well, here's a moon for YOU!

ED: an' here's one for YOU!

(mom notes: somehow, mooning just doesn't have the same impact when the butts are pointin' AT each other . . . )

weird wednesday

we've told you before about the lady robin who makes her nest efurry year onna ladder by the carport where the vehicles live, an' how much exercise we gets while watchin' her an' the daddy bird flyin' in an' out. well, this last weekend, our daddy was out beside the ladder gettin' ready to go cut some firewood, an' he noticed there was anofur egg inna nest!!! he thought it looked kinda funny, so he stepped closer an' it looked odder still--until he realized it was a black walnut from our tree!!! some silly brushy-tail (we can't say "squirrel" out loud or the dbd has a spazz attack) stashed it there for "later"!! too silly!

tail on tuesday!!

our very own edmund p. hillary

mancat ---- all mancat

this is me, nitro, in my mancatliest mancat-cheesecake pose.

whattaya think, girlcats?

the ed-itor in chief

ed instructs mom as she helps wif a new post. he dictates an' she types, an' makes sure that she's spellin' effurythin' right! that's furry aportant, you know--if yer gonna maintain crebidility as a germalist, you gots to spell right!

thankful thursday

although we dis her a lot, cocoa is really a pretty good sisfur as doggies go. she don't chase us (much), she don't hurt us when she does catch us, she shares sleepin' places, she lets igmu cuddle up to her, she don't bark a whole lot, an' she plays pretty gentle for someone who weighs 6 or 7 times as much as we do! an' she's pretty laid back as this picture shows. we're furry thankful she's our dbd instead of one of those yappy little aliens down the block!

play wif me!!!

rocky: please play with me, nitro! c'mon--wakey-uppie! cocoa is sleepin', too, an' none of the other guys wanna play with me . . . c'mon, nitro!! please????? i'm askin' nice an' pettin' yer paw gently . . . i could be ticklin' yer whiskers or pullin' yer ears. c'mon!!!

nitro: ::opens one eye a teensy bit:: i'm gonna send you to ichiro or nicky fuzzypants if you don't quit buggin' me. THEN you'll find out what it's like to be played wif. now go 'way an' lemme sleep. ::the eye slams shut::

rocky: *sigh* won't anybody make me fly through the air like my namesake? chase me an' chew me an' slather me with malodorous spit???

mom & dad: ewwwwww. no takers here, buddy. you may as well take a nap, too.

NB: we must correct the impression that this post identifies catspit as "malodorous". not so; rocky is the dbd's pal, and therefore is accustomed to being slimed with execrable slobbers of the canine kind. he thinks that ALL spit is the same, because the meowers have nefurnefurnefur put their pristine widdle moufs on him. he was just desperate to have someone to play with.

tufty toezies!

My Mama refers to the hairs in my toezies as "xing's ice skates". i dunno why; she KNOWS i nefur put my dainty paws in ice or snow!!

holed up!

igmu! you better be careful--i don't think nitro's lasers are set on stun!!