avast!

meYARRRR, me heartycats! i, capn' mao fang, do welcome thee t'the flotilla as it forms around our bonny ship, ye cat o'nine tails!

once again, it be me honor an' me sorrow to bid ye think a moment on those kitties what sail not wif us this year. there be a powerful lot o'them, an' we purrs an' purrrays we meets wif them again when davy jonescat sails us unner the Bridge when our times come, as sure they will. doff thy headgear, if ye please.

 ******

now, if ye will, step aboard an' acquaint yerselfs wif the mess hall ('tis fur nommin', mind ye, not "messin'", which takes place onnee orlop deck--which be not the poop deck, either), an' choose thy berth if ye sails wif us. if ye visits only an' hath thy own good ship or a berth wif a furriend, pray help thyself to victuals an' stay t'chat an' sing so long as thee will. later, we shall up anchor an' take ourselfs away t' the south, the beautyous land o' rio!




an' now, me furriends, let us feast an' drink in memory o'our companions! (leads the way down the ladder. ooooohs and ahhhhhs are heard from all.) 





may ye find yer heart's desire in food an' drink--there be more in rooms beyond, so foller thy noses!

 efurry nom fur an obligate carnivore be here, an' all manner o'spiritous consumables from high-falutin' brella drinks t' honest toona joos. make merry, an' deddycate a moufful an' a swig or two to the mem'ry o'thy furriends!

(soon all sounds give way to slurpchompgobble *erp* gimme! smacksmacksmack slobbernomnomnommitynomnom slurppity *burp* 'scuse laplaplapswigslurp ... well, you get the picture.)

at last, a few drift upward to the main deck, and depart to their own ships. soon after, the clanking sound of the anchor being hauled up from the sea bottom is evident, and those not comatose er, preoccupied with postprandial naps under the tables find comfy beds in cabins.

a group of younger ship's company of cats roll singin' from th' companionway. their giggles an' laffs obscure the song, but it is finally understood as::

 "a capital ship fur an ocean trip was the wallopin' window blind.
no breeze that blew dismayed her crew or troubled the cap'n's mind ..."

STOW IT! STOW IT, Y'HEAR????? that be not our sailin' song! where be ye gettin' that nonsense?

(young kitt:) igmu were heard hummin' it, yer worshipfulness. he teached the kits belowdecks when ye wast not aboard, sirrr.

(mao fang:) oh, aye? then i will deal wif him later. d'any of ye know the ackshul tune we squall er, sing as we make way? anycat? anycat?


nitro? xing?
ken ye not the best shanty efur t'grace the seas?

ah, blast it t'bast! what ignoramuses we must deal wif these days. why, in cap'n nels's day ...

(mellowing):: be there anycat 'mongst you as can gif us th'tune "common sailorcats"?

a new crewcat steps forth an' draws her bow across a fiddle. "i belief i know th'air, cap'n. wouldst gif me the sayso?"

aye, wif a right good will, lass. at thy pleasure! (fiddlin' begins, an' mao fang gifs us a rare treat [all the more rare in that it be at one bell o'th' forenoon watch 'nsted of eight bells o'th'middle watch]:)

I'm the cat before the mast

That ploughs the ragin' sea

And on this simple subject

Will you please enlighten me?

Common sailorcats we're called

Come tell me the reason why

And on this simple subject I'll reply:

Don't you call us common sailorcats no more

Don't you call us common sailorcats no more

Good things to you we bring

Don't you call us common cats no more

We're as good as anycat that's on shore.

The young girlcats o'this country

(Their growin' days we bless)

We brings them silks an' satins

Out of which they makes a dress

To gain th'heart of some young cat

As fancy dresses do

Don't nefur despise the sailorcats

That sails the ocean blue.

The young mancats o'this country

They're sittin' at their ease

Not thinkin' on the stormy nights

That we spends on the seas

We brings the leafs to make nipcigars

T'decorated their face

They wouldn't call us common 

If they were in our place!

When speakin' of a cat ashore

We nefur hear you say,

He's a common this or a common that

Be his callin' what it may

Be he a travelin' tinker

Or a scavenger or a sweep--

Then why call us common sailorcats

Who battles wif the deep!

paws patter enthusiastically from all around, even from other ships, as mao feng's voice does carry somewhat.  then he speaks:

bretheren an' sisteren, we be nearin' our port o'call! ship's boats will take ye t'th'beach (do thou remember th' comfort stations be BEHIND th' bushes.)





here ye see th'reason th'comfort stations be BEHIND the bushes: t'would be unkind to our gentle hostbeans t'do otherwise.











we haf arranged fur some charmin' transportation from th'beach t'th' harbor area. th'chariots be a wee bit bouncy (an' sometimes fragrant), but 'tis not a common mode o'conveyance, an' ye'll not see the like o'it in yer home port, so climb aboard! explore t'yer heart's content--we sail not til efurry last cat hath returned t'th' ships!


these carryohkas, as the beans do style theyselfs, be fair furriendly an' fond o' kittehs in particular, goin' so far as to emulate our sleek an' elegant selves. 

howsomeefur, be thou courteous, as befits the bretheren o'th'sea. trifle not wif the fevvers ye see on th'clothin' o'th' natifs! pluckin' THESE birds would be a matter for keel-haulin'!

we haf reserved this cozy room inna Casa de Gata hotel inna harbor, should ye wish a nap onna comfy bed that rocketh not durin' the day. tell 'em cap'n mao fang sent ye, an' the buffet will be free;-)

ye kin count on a meal, a nap, an' a skritch wheresomeefur ye go. just let them not convince ye that "coconut milk" be milk. it be not. 

akk-ptoooey!




a werd o'warnin' will i giff ye:  these be not kitteh toys (although they be called "poi toys" or "cariocas" like the beans!) should ye see some lyin' unattended, be thou wary. others may be near about an' come flyin' at yer haid wifout warnin'. carryokhas exercise wif 'em, an' whilst no bean would conk ye inna haid apurpose, they whirls an' spins 'em whilst dancin', an' the ribbands be all fluttery-like, but attemptin' t'catch 'em would be temptin' th'fates. they be not fevvers onna string. if ye were not conked, ye might be stomped!

this kitteh will be glad t'meet ye at the escadaria selaron (selaron's staircase) an' giff ye a tour. it be all cool tiles, an' a delightsome place to lounge an' watch th'world go by!

inna nearby park, there be this climbin' wall fur kittehs what loves t'perch high an' peer out through greenery an' purrtend they truly be th'junglecats in their souls!

at last 'tis time t'return t'our sturdy ships an' true, an' sail back whence we came--replete wif noms 'n' grog 'n' new memries of a fine stay inna fine place. 

companions all, as we returns t'port this day, we giffs ye thanks for thy company an' furriendship o'er the years, on land an' at sea. may ye efur bear our adventures in mind in a gladsome way, an' think on us wif luff, as do we think o'you!!

::sotto voce:: now, where be that scurvy knavecat, igmu? he'll be takin' a singin' lesson ere long, by th'powers! "wallopin' window blind" sez he? meeeYARRRR!

an' then i sez . . .

lemme see now.  then i sez, "avast, ye swabcats, i ... "

are ya gettin' this, mommer? MLAP's only a couple of days away!!

after all, it IS furiday the 13th ...

nitro:  uhhh, mommer? you know how yer allus sayin', "snug as a bug inna rug"? well, i just took a tail-count, an' xingie's inner rooms, ed's onna sofa, an' iggy's in dad's chair. so just how big do those bugs get?

we hadded anofur post lined up fer today, but this seemed more impawtent to say. of all the cats what liffed innis house when 9-11 happened, only edmund is left. but he has told all of us how he sat on mommer's lap at lunchtime while she watched the noisy picture box. how he knew she felt bad, so he bonked her an' purred loud an' she din't even notis. how he got all wet from her leaky eyes. how scairt he was when she started cryin' really hard. how he went an' hid (an' he's not proud of this) when she started wailin'.

he din't know. he couldn't know. kitties haffen't efur thunk about such a fing.

but after a few days, when she could talk about it wifout rainin', mommer splained to him that many, many souls had gone ofur the human bridge (an' prolly a lotta aminals, too) all at once because of other humans. by this time, she was good an' mad at those other humans, an' a lotta her werds were onna bad werd list. ed even learned some new ones. so when she ran outta bad werds an' hushed up fur a while, he finked about what happened until he unnerstood. an' then he finked some more, an' discussed it wif the ofur kitties. an' he has discussed it wif efurry kitty who has come to liff here since. we know if kitties really could take ofur the werld, nuffin' like this would efur happen. but, hey. we're kitties, an' wifout opposable thumbs, we ain't efur gonna be able to take ofur the werld. yeah, it hurts to admit that.

so what we KIN do is purr for those souls an' the souls they left behine. an' purr fur the souls that were brave an' heroical, somma who relif that drefful day ofur an' ofur in their minds an' bodies. an' yes, purr even fur those bad humans so they get smarter an' decide not to do stuff like that ennymore. an' purr that all humans finely realize that peacefulness is much more conducive to noms an' naps than fightfulness.

we kin purr, an' pray, an' chant "om mani pawme um", an' beam pure lite at efurryone who liffs, an' maybe ... just maybe ... there won't be no more 9-11s.

well, here it is, the start of our work week

here we are, dictatin' anofur avventure to mommer. at least it's not one of HER avventures this time. we are werkin' on sum ideas fer Meow Like A Pirate Day, but she is kinda sickly today an' not punkchuratin' up to her usual quality. we all has mad spellin' skills, haffin' growed up inna ozarks an' been tootered by skeezix, but we dunno nuthin' 'bout no punkchuratin'. we hopes the lizzerd incident of a few days back hasn't affected her punkchurater. she allus tells us that you should put in punkchurashun when you breefe, but she sure wasn't breefin' good THAT day! we'll keep onner.

nitro:  lookit, guys!

ed:  ... *prying eyes open* ... huh? wha'?

iggy:  no, really, ed--get up here an' look!

ed:  ugh.  gimme a minnit, i'm creaky when i start  mo... HOLY BAST! whatta heck is mommer doin'??

nitro:  she's DANCIN'!! in PUBLIC!

iggy:  right out there onna driveway, in fronta the HOUSE!!!

ed:  is billy sweetfeets out ther wif her?

nitro: i don't see 'im. an' lissen! she's SINGIN'!!

iggy:  oh, noes! you know how THAT sounds!! the naybers will fink the firemens are comin'!!

ed:  maybe we should holler at her an' get her to come in! that don't sound like singin' werds to me ... more like werds from the bad-werd list!!

nitro:  *backing away from door* nonononononogettabackgetbackgetbackguys!!!!! here she comes--an' she's still singin' an' dancin' ...

mommer:  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! geddouddamywayyewbuggersgeddouddamyway!! lemmethroughgimmethesinkand somelyesoap!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *scrubscrubscrubscrub* *splashsplashsplash*

mommer:  jeez!

nitro:  whatta heck, mommer?

mommer:  *pantpantpant* went out to get newspaper. paper all rolled up. stuck hand inside roll. lizzerd in roll! crawled over hand. scared bejaysus outta me. *pantpantpant* *wheezewheezewheeze*

ed: do you want i should call daisy an' see if she makes housecalls, mommer? she hunts lizzerds real good!!

iggy:  lemme att'im, lemme att'im!! i kin fix 'im! open dat door!!!

nitro:  um, mommer?? why are you laffin' so ... strange? should we call daddy? are you ... OK? mommer? do you want yer inhaler?

ed:  guys, i fink we otter leaf mommer alone fur a while . . .

peevish, we tells ya. PEEVISH!!!!

that's just how we feel, since the dbd got to go to gramma pierce's house when mommer an' dad wented ofur there on sunday fur a cookout, an' WE din't! they even hadded her homemade ice cream wif maryskeeno cherries innit, an' din't bring none home fur us. we don't feel bad at all fur lockin' the dbd inna human litterbox room while us kittehs par-tay'd on monday. it was pretty nice not to haf her droolin' an' starin'. we knows some of you were a little freeked out by the noises comin' from there, but she wouldn'ta hurt nocat, just pinned 'em to the floor an' flee-bited them a little like she does nitro.

we is haffin' a labor day nayberhood barbyq ...

so c'mon down!!! (that's sheff foxy frum down street workin' the grill. don't bovver him while he's concentratin' or you could end up wearin' the chick-hen. hmmmm, that don't sound ALL bad ... )

we gots plenty of real live fresh ded fish an' shrimp an' cow an' chick-hen!! there's lots of niptinis an' mother's milk an' toona joos an' cool, clear water onna table inna shade of the carport, an' the litter boxes are around back o' the shed.

there are quirrsels an' moles inna back an' side yards; you keeps what you kills (an' you DON'T shows it to mommer). (an' brownie points to them who knows whut movie that references.)

an' there's lotsa fresh nip growin' along the back fence; just be descreet, yo?

HAFF A LABOR DAY BALL, FURRIENDS!!

we'll see you on wednesday, presuming we are conscious by then.

there is NO TYPIN'

mommer, we hafta come to some unnerstannin' if yer gonna help us start bloggin' again. we gotsta haff our requisite skritches befur you start typin'. 

there is NO TYPIN' WIFOUT SKRITCHIN'. 

it's the law!

werdless

mousie monday

this is our faverit mousie. we dunno how he got up inna baffroom sink. mommer was susprised to find him there when she got reddy to go to the work place this morning. usally she soaks her hed unner the water spout (beans are soooooo strange) befur she goes, but she din't wanna drownd mousie, so she grabbed his tail an' flang him out inna hallway. nitro giffed him the welcome he deserved!!!

daddy's purrthday sellybration

our daddy sellybrated haffin' had 60 squillion naps (or 60 years, to you beans) last furrsday, but they put off any festibbities until the weekend. so satidday night, our pal getzger's mom & dad, miss ginger an' mr gary, came ofur fur drinkies an' dinner. daddy maked smoked triceratops (that's whut mr gary tole miss ginger it was gonna be, but we looked at the wrapper an' it sed "tri-tip") an' a pasta salad, an' mommer made cheezy taters an' sliced up jicama to dip in garlic hummus an' tzadiki.

so while the smoker was smokin', the beans was talkin' an' nibblin' an' drinkin' some adult beveridges (as the irish say, "a drop o' th' drink was taken"). 

when dad brought the meat in frum the smoker, even igmu--the biggest bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk inna house--came out frum hidin' behint the wash machine an' stood inna kitchen door, sniffin' an' sniffin'!! it was G.O.O.D.!

so they commenced eatin' an' fer a while all we heard was jaws chompin'. then when they had got rid of the ofur-whelmin' hungries, they started talkin' again about this an' that. at one point, miss ginger menshund that getzger had even been the subject of a post on her blog, an' it was about how cats do things an' that made her think about her life in diffrunt ways.

allus the smart-ass (she wonders where WE get it frum!), mommer sed, "oh, you mean like turnin' around an' wavin' yer butt in someone's face is ackshully a polite an' furriendly thing?" then mr. gary looked at her an' sed, "should i try that when we get home, then?" an' of cawse they all busted out laffin' an' laffin'. even dad. especially dad. who had just tooken a drink. that's how he found out that jack daniel's an' cola are not good things to snort out yer nose. efur.

well, all we can say is, after that, a great deal MORE of the drink was taken, an' we din't get supper until 9:30 pm, which is NOT 6:00 pm. so we fixed 'em. we started askin' fur breffust at 4:15 am, just like always.

(an' by the way, you shuld read miss ginger's post an' look at her blog an' her etsy page, she is furry smart an' a real good artist!)

bye-bye, miles & sanjee!!

well, we had a wunnerful bisit wif miles an' angel sanjee, but he figgered it was time to go home. xing whaps him efurry time she sees him (we suspect she's jellus of angel sanjee an' since she can't whap an angel, she whaps him) an' that's gettin' a little old. thank goodness xing don't liff out inna general population alla time, or he'd a goned home the first day!

we hear that sammy gets outta the slammer soon, so he kin welcom his brofur home inna style to which he is accustomed. borrowin' stuff that belongs to the bloo shorts humans is not a particularly good idea.!

oh, miles?

*pssst*  *PSSST*  

HEY, MILES!!!

you gonna get up outta that laundry basket enny time soon? we know the clo'es is all warm an' fluffy, but mom's almost got the ham-n-eggs ready!!

holy bast! we founded miles (an' angel sanjee) on our front porch! the lady inna bloo shorts jus' dumped them there when mommer was at the work, an' when she came home, she wented in the EAST door of the porch an' din't see the box. later, daddy camed home (for mommer to take him to the doctor for a *gasp* shot in his hip), an' when they wented out the SOUTH door of the porch, they was talkin' an' din't notis it. but when they comed home, we guesses miles had rolled the box in fronta the inside door, so they founded him--an' mommer gotted busy right away:

(an' her speshul ingredient is a dustin' of 'nip ofur the french toast, so miles an' angel sanjee had gobs an' gobs of it, an' then we all rolled innit an' took a nap.) 

we is haffin' a fine bisit, an' he's not in enny hurry to go home. we is so acited to haf them here! mommer an' daddy are fine wif dat as long as nobuddy gets feisty!

enjoy the day, furriends!

we will be in our usual bunker, UTB, until further notice!

happy boy!

Click here for our faverite Skeezy moovey. Gosh, whatta happy boy--an' that's how we'll allus remember him!

Our Best Frend

(oh, dear bast, gif us strenth to make it through this post.) 

we haf losted our best frend, the guy who innerdused us to bloggin', taught us all we know about spellin', an who brought the outside werld to our doorstep wif his travels. 

he was the manliest of mancats wif big mussels, an' yet he was gentul an' curteus to all he met. he dazzled efurryone wif his fashun-forward wardrobe, an' rocked efurry look from motorcycle leathers to babushkas an' tutus. we envyed him his beautyful speshul girlcat frend, daisy the curlycat (but in the nicest way). we cride wif him when the yellow school bus din't come to pick him up. our mommer akshully sobbed when she red how mr tasty face met him fur the furst time.

we marveled at his star quality on the stage at the acatemy awards, but figgered he musta lerned it frum his moovey-star frends like samuel l. jackson (don't click this link if you don't wanna hear werds frum the bad-werd list). we felt his hartbrake when rocky the guttercat went to the bridge. we admired his bravery as he did his patrols, an' are furefurr grateful to him fur bringin' the dangers of the vishus deers to the attention of the cat bloggin' werld. we had such fun in his contests, an' we haf kept efurry holiday card, letter, postcard, picture, an' award he efur sent us.

and pink? we can't see the werd or the color wifout thinkin' of our skeezy.

his catly body is gone frum us, it's true, but the spirit of skeezix liffs on in the hart of efurry cat efurrywhere hoo efur read his posts. we only dream of the things he did, but HE went out an' did 'em--an' we are all better cats for his haffin' shared his life wif us. rest ezy, skeezy. we gotcha safe.

our eric

ah, woe. we breaks our long silence to honor our good buddy, eric, of eric & flynn fame. he was a mancat's mancat, brave, floofy, loyal, an' doughty. a supreme hunter, the mouses an' voles inna nearby fields trembled when he prowled. he had his own distinct purrsonality, sweet-natured an' true, allus proud to show his tum. as he was a constant companion to his brofur, flynn, he was sociable an' furriendly. he will be missed mightily in devon an' throughout the werld. lord knows, WE misses him. farewell, our darlin' eric.

ALERT! ALERT! aaaaaaOOOOOOOga

NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG KITS OR THE FAINT OF HART!!

!!

!!

!!

!!

!!

!!

!!

!!

!!

!!

BEWARE!!!

this picture was found inna camera left beside a trail near where we liff. some feral furriends brot it to us. we haf been cowerin' unner the bed since hearin' rumers of this creature around catsmas time. we had thought (an' HOPED) that the song that starts

Up onna housetop, the reindeers pause,

Scratchin’ an’ scrabblin’ wif vishus claws,
Hunting the tender yung joosy cats,
Red-eyed an' wearin' their santa hats.

CHORUS: Oh, no, no! We wouldn't go,
    Oh, no, no! Not wif reindeers, no!
    Up onna housetop oh so slick,
    We ain't gonna fall for no reindeer trick!

was only fiction, but now we knows diffrunt. here is digital prufe of its realness, so at grate purrsonal risk we emerges frum our hidey-hole to post this warning about the most terrorfying vishus deer efur seen!!!! we thot we had seen them all--stealth deers, crafty "furriendly" deers, even ghost deers; but this one ...  holey socks!!!! we fink it might be *gulp* a (whispering) vampire deer!!!!!

do not enter the woods!!!! do not go inna back yard if you has more than eight blades of grass innit--they are masters of disguise an' camoflaj!!!! do not let yer beans go fur hikes!!! (note to selfs: tell miss ginger an' mr gary!!!!)

we are goin' back unner the bed now; ed is whining acause the dust bunnies are are bigger than he is. we hadda promise to share our gooshy foods wif him so he can "bulk up" in case there is a bunny uprising. 

spred the werd to all yer furriends an' make sure that you an' they are efur vigilant!! LET'S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

eine kleine nachtmusik

mommer's pretty bummed this catsmas an' is haffin' a hard time gettin' inna holiday mood. so we bin carollin' at all hours of the day an' the night to improve her mindset. this is one we wrote last year, an' haf giffen it a many hearty repetitions. we's gonna post it ofur inna facebook group Sunshine Dialogues, too!

verrrrry INteresting ...

on saturday, it was warmer OUTSIDE the house than it was inside. a boycat's gotta do what a boycat's gotta do to keep warm if his beans ain't kind enuf to build a fire inna firebox!

Miss Jan

Our Miss Jan

Always in our hearts,

never forgotten.

Sam, Sabrina, & Simon,

you haff our lovin' purrs.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, furriends!!

We haf so many blessins in you, we can't count 'em all!

a 3-cat night

BRRRRRRRR!!
(the dbd repurrts that the water in her bowl outside is FRIZZEN!!)

iggy an' nitro at their nightly revels. although it looks like iggy don't really care if nitro plays or not!

this is me, xing. literally. (an' litter-ally, too, i s'pose, since my furs are all ofur the floor.) i keep tellin' My Mama an' TELLIN' My Mama that those stinky booger-butt boycats haff it in fur me, an' she has just GOTTA belief me now. besides, it's all her fault ennyway!

i was sittin' in her lap, enjoyin' my well-deserved skritches, when alluvasudden the doorbell rang. i din't freak but i gotted uneasy acause cocoa was barkin' an' barkin'. the boycats, cowards that they are, all ran fur cover behint chairs an' sofas. My Mama putted me onna end table next to our chair, an' promised she'd be right back, that nuffin' would happen since the boys was all hidin'.

she went to the door an' talked wif the man in blue shorts fur a minnit, then came back in, smiled at me an' sed, "see? nuffin' happened. i toldja. now i gotta go to the potty room fur a second, an' i'll be right back again." so she went. it's not furry far away from our chair.

well.

the next thing i knew, ed was stink-eyein' me from right below my perch onna table. i dunno where he was hidin' befur that.  i screamed, ed screamed, nitro hissed, iggy hissed, cocoa barked, an' My Mama screamed an' was glad she was onna potty!

it was obvious she wasn't comin' to my rescue right away, so i jumped down onna floor to run to the door to my suite, but (ascuse me here, but it's called fur) DAMMIT! he sure moves quick fur an ol' fatboycat--he ran, too, an' caught me at the door. he jumped on me an' hollered an' squalled an' clawed an' bited, an' i did the same.

FINELY My Mama came an' stomped her foot an' hollered at ed, an' he slunk off. my little body was tremblin' when she scooped me up an' took me into my suite. she sat onna bed wif me an' hugged an' petted me, smoothed my pretty furs, an' looked fur owies but din't find any. we sat fur a while, talkin' about how rotten my brofurs are, an' then i went an' got in my heated cat cup fur a nap. she tole me she was gonna go out an' kick ed inna tailfeathers fur me, but i dunno if she really did that. i'm just happy that she would, if i asked her to. she's My Mama!

bad boys, bad boys

a poor, defenseless loaf of bread after suffering the ravages of the midnight marauders, as the boycats are now collectively known. one of them is also evidently a vampirecat, as evidenced by the fang marks pointed out by the red circle-ish things. it's a human being's fault for leaving it out on the counter, though.

mommer sez i is a copy-cat becuz i sits onna puter like iggy. i is NOT; i is a norijinul. MY puter is OPEN!

we wishes all our furriends a safe an' happy

MEOWLLOWE'EN!

tabby tuesday

chin skritches are the BEST! i feel like chanting OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

new service provider

you all know how our 'rents an' beans once in a while tells us to go git a job an' earn our keep insted of just layin' around the house? (well, ours do, at enny rate.) so i, igmu sapa, haf decided to provide a service that many, many of you can do, too. i am the offishul package opener for chez pierce! not only do you help yer beans, but you get the furst peek at whatefur's inna package--an' if it's toys or nip or crackly paper or sumthin' equally fun, you can get yer paws onnit befur yer brofurs or sisfurs do!

ahhhhh, warms!

good ol' mommer! she left the laptop on ofurnight, an' this was the warmest spot inna house! i din't even move when she took out the flashy-box. now she's werried i'm sick;-) hah; i'll just let her wunder.

oh, btw:  I was the lump in yestiddy's picture, an' the song was Who Wrote the Book of Love? miss ginger was the only one who knew bofe ansers, so she hafs the biggest braggin' rights. but youse who got haff of the ansers get modest braggin' rights--any baseball player would be PROUD to bat .500!!!!

tiny little contest

oh, i wonder, wonder WHO! (ba-du-du-DU!) who is the cat in the lump?

braggin' rights to the first one to post the correct answer AND the name of the song referred to (which, if you get it right, means yer older than dirt, like mommer)!

how we spent our weekend, part dyoo

sunday mornin', the beans let us sleep late while they just layed around an' drank coffees. they finely got wif it an' dressed an' took us to a resterunt. onna way, along one of the highways, we saw these big concrete tubes that daddy sed they stores grain in, an' if you biggify the pickshure, you'll see there is a big banner hangin' on most of 'em. it's a public art project done this year, an' the yellow one was done by a 12-year-old boy inna public school! 

the resterunt is called "the bohemian cafe". cuzzin amanda was there, too (just barely visible onna left), an' her sweetie, brendan was sittin' wif ed.

we meeted auntie joy's son, our bean-cuzzin cullum, his wife elise, an' their two youngins, ivy an' kayden. the pickshur wif cullum innit din't come out good, so mommer swiped this'n from a facebook page: 

we wented there acause mommer grew up eatin' this food, an' daddy growed to like it, too, when he married mommer. there is NO place to get it in springfield, you gotta go to chicago or omaha to get it, so this was kinda a "hafta" meal. he allus hafs rost pork an' the same kinda dumplins as showed on this plate. they are made frum breads. the foods inna picksure is whut mommer allus hafs: svickova (SVEET-ch-ko-va), which is picked beefs an' a creamy gravy. they bofe like sweet an' sour cabbage wif it. they rilly hoovered it in, an' we hadda fight 'em fur the plate-lickins!

after alla the plates was licked clean, cullum an' his fambly hadda go get girl scout stuff fur ivy, so they went to the store where joe liffs (our army furriend that we met yesterday), while the rest of us went to a place that kaden called "the scary store". you kin see why! there is terrorfyin' stuff hangin' frum the roof efurrywhere there for beans to buy for meyowloween. costumes, treats, tricks, masks, decorations of efurrykind, efurrywhere inna store. we was scairt an' stayed in our carrybag the whole time fur fear someone would fink we was decorations an' carry us away!!

after that, efurryone was just burpin' an' yawnin' so much that we all wented back to auntie joy's an' layed around some more, sometimes wif eyes open, sometimes wif eyes closed. we watched mooveys like "the avengers" an' "iron man 2", an' noshed a little (but not much, since efurryone was so full frum lunch), so it was pretty much like a reg'lar sunday. when we was good an' tired, we toddled off to bed.

then at o-dark-thirty a.m inna mornin' on monday, we were rudely ripped frum the arms of our ol' buddy, morpheus, an' hustled out to the freezin-cold car for the borin' six hour trip home. fank bast there isn't much we can do to help drive the car, so we just nap-piled all the way home an' got there just in time fur a relaxin' pre-supper snooze. we liked our trip an' wanna go somewheres again, but not fur a while!!! we dunno HOW skeezy does it!

how we spent our weekend, part the first:

this is our auntie joy--she liffs in newbrasska. she is the reason we is a fambly--she innerduced our mommer an' dad long, long years ago in omaha!! we luffs her! she looks a little different frum the usual "cupid", but her magic werked just as good as the li'l nekkid kid with the bow-n-arrow, acause they's married more'n 35 years now;-) thank you, auntie!

the furst place we bisited in newbrasska was a wally-world, where mommer got tickled by how many meyowlloween decorations there were! she sez springfield wal-marts haf a possitif dearth of them.

the next morning, we wented wif mommer, daddy, auntie joy, an' her dotter (our bean cuzzin) amanda to a store that sells all sortsa army gear. we made furriends wif a guy named joe, an' he showed us his "war face".

afters, we went shoppin' fur catsmas ormanents atta place called "tannenbaum". we found several nice, tinkley things that will make furry satisfyin' crashes ... er, look real pretty onna tree. (mom notes:  that's IF i get up the nerve to set one up this year, with these hooligans we are currently using for cats!)

the peoples were furry nice, an' didn't mind us bein' inna store at all. even MORE long years ago (befur she met daddy), mommer useta werk inna store next door to "tannenbaum", makin' sammiches an' scoopin' ice creams. a lady named miss lucille owned bofe stores, but she haf gone ofur the rainbow bridge now, an' these new beans haf made the store into a year-round hollyday wunderland!

after we left the catsmas shop, we had a delicious meal at don & millie's resterunt, where mommer an' auntie joy sez the onion rings an' burgers is buzzackly the same as useta be at "king's food host", so if ennybuddy remembers king's, this is where to go to get some yummy foods.

inna afternoon, we wented to anofur shop fulla pretty, sparkly fings, an' iggy made hisself right at home in one section of "next millennium", right by a statcher of a rilly, rilly princessy black kitteh. mommer sez she's the goddess bast. we fink iggy looks pretty noble hisself, but ... a god named "iggy"???? not so much. 

we finely got to go home an' nap before bedtime. while this shuttlin' around inna car was all kindsa funs, we are still awful sleep-deprived. so we will continue wif our adventure tomorrow!

we's tired!

we are just beat; mommer an' dad took (flat) us to bisit our auntie joy an' cousin amanda in newbrasska ofur the weekend, an' we been drug efurrywhere an' showed off to efurryone. we will post some pitchers when we get rested up; we missed about a jillion naps!!

dawgs is the cwaziest peeples!

we tole you yestiddy that we'd show you somethin' else frum the day at purina farms when we met flat skeezix an' not-flat miss karen, but we can't get the dad-blamed moovey to load on blogger. so we will hafta tell you insted--an' you will hardly be able to belief it!

there was a competition to see which woofie could get wettest!! at least, we fink that was the point of it; they were certainly gettin' plenty wet. we just dunno what dawgs see in divin' inna pool--ON PURPOSE yet! they ran around outdoors an' jumped inna big plastic hole fulla water!

it was already kinda rainin', an' cold enough to freeze the giblets on any chick-hen you'd care to name, an' still there were crowds of beans standin' around yellin' for one dawg er another, cheerin' 'em on to see who could jump the farthest into the pool.

mind you, those same cheerin' beans were bundled up in heavy jackets, wearin' scarfs an' hats an' gloves, wif the ends of their noses all cold an' drippin' (an' that DON'T mean a bean is healthy, honest!), an' yet they was makin' them woofies jump just nekkid as they was born into that icy water. maybe it was some kinda endurance test to see which dawg was the last to freeze solid or somethin'.

you know you wouldn't catch a cat (1) wastin' energy by jumpin' into icy water, (2) runnin' around outdoors inna cold by choice, or (3) gettin' wet by choice, just to make beans holler! heck, our beans holler at cocoa  alla time, an' she ain't even doin' any of (1), (2), or (3)!!!  no sir; no ma'am. no cats we know would be doin' that, not while there was a plump cushion, a fluffy duvet, a cozy sofa, or warm-air-blowin' thingy available. no cat would willinly even step a pinky-toe out inna rain, let alone fling hisself into a pool of cold water!

we fink this maybe was just a demonstration to the werld at large of -- once again -- cats' nacheral superiority ofur dawgs by virtue of smartness. you just can't imagine enny cats bein' involved in pool divin', can you?

well! at last we gotted to go somewhere--at least, flat us did (tee-heeeeeee, we sed flatus!).

on saturday mommer wented to purina farms in saint louis's city, an' guess hoo was waitin' to meet us? flat skeezix an' the real Food Lady, miss karen!! (we was disappointed that there wasn't no Mr. Tasty Face, acause we wanted to try his flaver fer ourselfs if skeezy would let us.) of corse you reckernize skeezy an' his ripply mussels, all decked out in his pink fevver boa an' moovey star glasses. that's his brofur tripper next to him. trip got awarded alla those bells onnis collar acausa alla the berds he makes go ded. an' we's sorry, we don't 'member the name of the ladycat at the right, but her bean is a furriend of miss karen.

we wented around a big, big room visitin' lotsa kittehs an' woofies who where there hopin' to find their furefurr homes. they tole us that the nice beans who were standin' around had bringed 'em so they could meet folks who were lookin' fur love. ummm, err, you know whut we means ... NOT the ofur thing.

we finks there must be innernets inna shelters, acause they all crowded up when they reckernized skeezy. he was very popular wif the kittehs there-- he's furry easy to talk to, not a stuck-up sellebrity-type at all--an' they bended his ears a lot, efurrytime he got close to them! an' one li'l orinch kitteh cosied up to nitro, but mommer din't get a picture of that. 

we also helped put together "welcome home" bags wif food an' toys an' treats fer woofies an' kittehs who get 'dopted frum shelters. you kin read more about it here (an' there is lots more about this event onna mousebreff site). this gimundus cat waved goodbye to us when miss karen an' mommer left the building.

we're kinda puzzled by miss karen's statement that now she could cross mommer off her bukkit list. we dunno what "crossin' off" is, but it must be ok wif bofe of them, since they were smilin' a lot the whole time they was together. 

 

 tomorrow, we will tell you a little more about the day--a crazy woofie tale!

artsy fartsy tuesday

mommer gotted a new version of her photo softwear, The Gimp, an' she just hadda try it out on us. i mean, it din't hurt or ennyfing, but it made her make up some new werds fur the bad werd list until she figgered out how to take away most of the colors, bit by bit, but not take away OUR colors! she suspects there's a much easier way to do it with the new improved version, but she hasn't discovered it yet. there'll be MORE new werds when she finds it! ;-)

we let mommer post today ...

(... acause it imbarassed ed;-)
ed! jeez! put your head down while you're sleeping, yeah? you're giving me a stiff neck just looking at you.

(he sits beside me while i'm at the computer, and he just sleeps "at" me!)

nope, nowhere in sight

no, ma'am, mommer. i don't see ennycat who mighta done that. nope. yup, 3:45 ayem inna mornin' is pretty early fur somecat to be riotin'. you'd think they'd all be asleep. me? why am i not asleep? ummmmm, igmu was kickin' me ... yeah, that's the ticket--he was kickin' me. then there was this loud noise, an' i come out here to see what it was, an' then you putted onna light. yeah, that's how it happened, all right! mommer? why's there steem comin' outta yer ears? mommer? dear, sweet mommer o'mine? ::sneaking slowly backward out of arm's range::  mommy?

except fur mommer's lap ...

this is the best seat inna house. it's a nicely padded mat snuggled up to the warms blowin' outta the back of the computer when it's fired up. since she won't let us sit onna keyboard (somethin' about ham-footed, lard-@$$ed beasts ... we don't unnerstand that a-tall--we are beasts of the feline, not the porcine persuasion), this is the next best spot. an' it's easy to peek around the edge of the screen to be sure she's not goin' too far astray in her transcribin'! some pawrents haff been knowed to ofur-eggsaggerate their fuzzy offspring's aventures, but we keeps a close rein on mommer's lyin' ... errrr ... poor typin' tendencies. efurrything you read in OUR bloggie is the truth! we might "let on" a little here an' there, like tom sawyer, but outright lie? nefur. efur.

fur example: mommer just paid me a compliment--she sez i haf a bright career ahead of me as a politician!! an' she swears that's the truth. see?

mencat sunday on monday

well, autumn has come to the ozarks, where we liff. that means it gets colder. so our easy like sunday pictures are gonna look more like this, more often. we are acitied acause the windows kin be open durin' the day, an' we can see bird tv an' squirrel tv with sound AND smell-o-vision! an' mommer is acited acause the bedroom window kin be open durin' the night, an' she kin put anofur cover onna bed an' cuddle up warm like a bug inna rug. daddy is NOT so acited, acause mommer would sleep wif the window open if it were snowin', an' iffen it gets down inta the 40 degrees area, he hasta wear a stockin' hat to bed onna counta he ain't got ... well, let's put it this way: all he needs is a cat tongue to comb his hairs. they ain't many, an' he keeps 'em teeny-weenie short!

xing got to come out later inna afternoon, when it gotted warmer an' we went t'sleep inna kitchen window where there's a massive sun puddle. xing slept on mommer for a good coupla hours, an' she hafs a heated cat-cup bed inner suite, so she is pretty comfy an' don't hafta get contaminated wif boycat cooties;-)