while mom was in chicago,

grampa had his eyes surgeried, an' the clawcoma pressure's back where it should be, so that's good. but we can't tell yet if the catarak operation did any good acause there's a 7-10 day healing time. mom's not so sure grampa's gonna get through that wifout troubles, acause he's sposdta wear a pirate patch, an' he keeps pullin' it off an' hidin' it in his pocket. so we is just hopin' he don't get no feckshuns. we fanks you all fur your kindly thoughts an' purrs an' purrrayers--they worked really good, acause it's hard to haf an uneventful operation on a bean who's 95 squillion naps old. an' they worked good on gramma, too, acause she din't freak out a lot about the whole deal. mom was almost more worried about that than about grampa!

an' while she was gone, we were each an' efurry one of us furry good, so she brought us goodies frum a furpersons' BOO-TEEK called scratch 'n' sniff (an' told us not to get useta such high-falutin' vittles). (well, they prolly won't let her back in there anyways, since she says she spent the whole time LOLin'.) cocoa went to the day hunting place wif dad efurry day, so she gots the t-shirt woofie cookie that's even gots frostin! the lamb & liver treats are fur anofur day.

we, of course, were our usual mild-mannered selfs, so we got the bonito flakes. but then we got inna fight ofur them when daddy opened the jar. we know why they went missin' at skeezix & mao's house!! we doesn't know what "herrings" are, but mom sez they're chewier than "earrings", so we fink we'll like them. we gets to try them tonight.an' gramma gave mom this really kyoot purse for christmas (acause mom & dad prolly won't be able to visit her then). she allus finds really neat kitty stuff for mom even though she can't use the innernets to shop, so we guesses there must really BE a world outside our virtual one . . . ;-D

moki

we is certainly purrin' an' purrrayin' fur our furriend moki!
what a brave kitty he is--matched only by the braveness of his mama.
they is a pair ordained by heaven.
PURRRRRRRR, PURRRRRRRR, PURRRRRRR, *soft rumbly grrrrrrrrrr*

gone again

we is gonna be 10-10 an' onna side (which means--if you ain't old enough to member--in CB Radio parlance that we's gonna be layin' out, listenin' but not postin' much for a few days).

mom hasta go to chicago tomorrow mornin' acause her daddy's hafin' eye surgery fur his clawcoma (pressure's 40+ in each eye, should be 20 or less), an' to haf a catarak removed. we dunno why anybean would want anything "claw" or "cat" removed, but the doctor sez it's gotta get done so grampa kin maybe see a little again. he's 95 an' furry creaky, so we hopes you will all purr an' purrray fur him an' his surgeon & team. an' fur gramma, who's 91 an' don't take stuff like this furry well anymore. an' fur mom, so she can stay awake for the whole trip; that would be good. she's drivin' by herself acause daddy's doin' inventory an' boybean can't get loose of work.

daddy don't know nuffin' 'bout birthin' no blogposts, so unless we gets the chance to consult wif mom by cellphone an' she can find a public computer, we'll be quiet but wif efurry one of you in spirit. we'll be purrin' an' purrrayin' fur alla our furriends for whatefur their needs might be. we loves you all!!

cold weather makes strange bedfellows!

it turned mighty cold the day mom & dad finally deigned to remember that they had starving, unhappy kitties at home. (mom here: yeah, we were gone all of a day and a half!!!) we were furry, furry freezing!! so dad built a fire inna woodstove an' slowly we thawed out. but on sunday afternoon, when we were sposed to be pleasantly drowsy from that wunnerful heat, he let the fire die down--to "dip ashes", he said. it started to get chilly again! we fink he just wanted ta remind us that he's necessary. well, we showed him. MOM's the necessary one!!the mystery of who got into the chair first back when we posted hell has frozen ofur is solved. ed was there furst; then xing climbed up an' sat on him. evidently he was comfy enough not to protest, an' she nefer even hissed at him. then nitro climbed up, an' she din't hiss at him, either. we don't fink she's "mellowing", she's just more secure when mom's there. that, an' she knows that mom'll pop her onna nose if she hisses when we ain't threatening;-)
here, cocoa is saying, "please, can't i get on yer lap, too?" poor woofie; she was furry traumatized while they were gone. she went to stay wif our bean brofur, but he don't live where he useta. he an' his kitty powder moved in wif his girlfriend leslie an' her two kitties (thomas an' karma), an' so it was a unfamiliar place an' had two strange kitties to deal wif. she hasn't even let daddy go potty by himself since they came home!!ahhhhh! comfy at last!! daddy sure loves her to let her do this acause she squishes all kindsa important stuff when she wiggles around to get comfy!

we's back!

hello, furriends. we pologizes for not hangin' wif you on peace globe day, but mom's day-hunting boss gave alla the hunters an' their significant ofurs a mini-vacation at a hotel inna town called eureka springs. when they left at noon on thursday, she shutted off the computer, so we couldn't visit wif any of youse. an' since they been back, she's hawgged the computer to put up the pictures she took. you kin see 'em here. it sounds like it was a pretty good place--furry friendly to furries! but it still burns our fuzzies that she din't leave the computer on!! an' they din't even bring us any of those t-shirts that say "mom & dad went on vacation, an' all i got was this lousy t-shirt". just wait. 4:00 a.m. is coming . . . .

PEACE ON EARTH!!

WOOT!

KITTIES FOR OBAMA DANCE THE HAPPY DANCE!!

*twirl* *twirl* *twirl*

Una Ofrenda Virtual

. . . hecho para nuestro queridito nels. (a day of the dead virtual altar and offerings . . . made for our most beloved nelson.) mom finks that the mexican view of the dead returning is a much more healthy one than that of the judaeo-christian ethos with which she was raised (where usually it's a bad thing when the dead return!). you kin look here and here to find out more about this holiday if youse is unfamiliar wif it. she has decided to be happy and welcoming while remembering all those who have gone before us this year, instead of sad an' blue. we see them all, all the time, but we guesses this is a big thing for beans, who are not so "tuned in" to other frequencies.

happy halloween to all our furriends

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
(biggify for full effect)may all your trick-or-treat bags
be filled with catnip!

FRIGHTFUL FRIDAY!!!

ok, ok, the small mammals involved were woofies, but it coulda just as well have been kitties . . .

Woman, 61, fights off deer in attack on poodle

By John Grant Emeigh - 10/22/2008

A 61-year-old woman from Silver Star said she got into a tussle with an aggressive deer after it apparently attacked one of her poodles Monday morning.

Carol Lince said she had to fight a doe when it charged her in her yard at her home just south of Silver Star, about 35 miles southeast of Butte.

Lince said she sustained bruises where the deer rammed its head into her abdomen area.

"I'm still sore today," she told The Montana Standard Tuesday afternoon.

Lince said she had let her three poodles outside, when she heard one "screaming bloody murder." She went outside and saw a deer attacking the smallest dog.

"I see this big ‘ole doe that's ramming him into the ground," Lince recalled.

Lince kicked at the deer's hind legs to try to get the animal off her dog. That's when the deer turned around.

"When it looked at me I realized I bit off a little more than I can chew, but I'm going to fight," she said.

She said the deer rammed her with its head and pushed her into her fence. Lince balled up her fists and started walloping the deer's head until it eventually jumped her fence and ran off.

Lince said her dog, whose name happens to be "Little Fighter," was pronounced OK after it was checked by a veterinarian.

Butte area game warden Matt Strozewski said deer can become aggressive toward animals or people.

"Any wild animal can become aggressive," Strozewski said.

He added that deer can become especially aggressive during rut.

Lince, a longtime carrier for The Montana Standard, said she didn't think twice about confronting the deer because she is protective of her poodles.

"I'm not a wimp; I don't back down," she said.

13 things mom said this week so far . . .

1. Nitro, please do NOT headbutt my hand while I’m painting this earring. Please! Pl . . . damn. C’mere, you—you wanna magenta mustache?
2. Which one of you hairy warts knocked the lid off that saucepan? You don’t even LIKE cauliflower.
3. Hey, fatboy, who told you you could sit on my plate?
4. Jeez, Ed! Where do you keep your nose? In the icebox??
5. I’m going to de-whisker the next mother’s son of you that licks the butter stick!
6. Nitro, you are NOT lost. If you MUST holler like that, please go in the laundry room where the echo is better, and it’s far enough away that you won’t drown out the TV.
7. What criminal mastermind picked open the liquor cabinet door? And why???!!
8. GeddouddahereNOWWWWWW!
9. Xing, this is MY litterbox room—you have your own. I need no help whatsoever.
10. How did the timer for the living room light get all screwed up? Have one of you been scratching an itch on it?
11. Baby girl, you can’t fit in th . . . oh, never mind. I guess you can. But can you get out?
12. Is it possible that yet another sweet, cute, adorable, cuddly kitty has deposited a hairwad the size of Cincinnati on daddy’s shoe? I suppose he should be glad it’s not IN his shoe.
13. I love you kitties, I really, really do.

Yeah, mom. We love you, too.

tocktober pictures!!

majestically manly ed-tocks (this picture also displays his ginormous tail, which is entered in the catster "craziest tail" contest. please clickity onna picture, an' go vote for him!! thank you!!)

brilliant nitro-tocks
shiny xing-tocks
mom sez she don't know why this day is any different from any other day--we all shows our 'tocks EFURRY day. well, she din't azactly say "'tocks", but this is a fambly blog. (maybe the phrase she used is just ozarkese, but we hasn't nefur heard any ofur beans but ozarkers. if you're in any doubt, mail us through our profile an' we'll splain it to you.)

since nels was a whitester

cap'n nels came home yesterday. here he is in his favorite chair.
his hairs are still all ofur it. we miss him.

tunnel tuesday

mom gots us this nifty tunnel from the wallyworld place on sunday!! i purred on her specially loud when she sat down after we had splored it throroughly. it's all crackly, an' my booty fits just FINE, thank-you-very-much, ol' mean wise-crackin' daddy. mom put some kittycrack inna hole inna middle, an' nitro an' i both dived for it. I WON!!! he hadda wait until i was through burninatin' holes in him wif my lasers an' then rollin' inna nip. then i let him have the leftovers. xing just laid inna chair an' slept. stoopid girlcat.

hell has frozen ofur!!

the earth beneath chez pierce is frozen alla way down to the core of the earth an' efurrywhere inbetween. xingxing an' edmund has occupied the same chair, all by themselfs, for at least 20 minutes yesterday. mom & dad was at the wallyworld place an' i was inna litterbox room, so i nefur seed who got into the chair furst. can't imagine who it was, or why the seccond one wanted to lay there, too. usually they just cross glances an' someone gets growled inta next week. who efurr was furst was just stubborn enuff to not gif up the chair, an' whoefur was second was just stubborn enuff not to get run off, i guess. what's next? polar bears on tropical islands?? ::cue scary music::

to you all . . .

mom's SO silly . . .

she thinks that readin' a book can make her thin! she's readin' the pyrates, by george macdonald fraser, an' it were suggested to her by fat eric's mum. you should ALL tell yer beans about it, if they liked our sea voyage saga (an' are not put off by some dodgy language; you kin see some zamples here).

it IS furry funny, judging by her stifled giggles an' snorts an' out-an-out haw-haws. but tell yer beans they shouldn't aspect to drop any poundage while readin'--it just ain't true. she keeps sayin' she's laffin' her butt off, but it looks just as wide as efurr to us!

our poor ol' daddy

he's been kinda ditzy lately, what wif day huntin' being so busy an' helpin' the other branch of the day huntin' place move (he's gonna end up huntin' 13 days inna row), an' then losin' our nels--his furry own darlin'--so we can't blame him fur what he did last night, but that don't keep us from postin' about it!

he was sweepin' up the scattered litter an' other stuff (ed can't manage to poop inna litter box if it was as big as a kiddie pool) inna laundry room, an' went to dump it all inna wastebasket. too bad the dirty clo'es basket was right next to it. yup. the dirty clo'es is lots dirtier now. *smirk* usually, it's mom who's the ditz. [HEY! don't i get a little respect here?] nope, mom. not when you allus furget to check if the spray bottle is set on "mist" insteada "stun the kitty". you deserves it when you blasts yerself inna head efurry morning!

cap'n nels sets sail

first mate chow yung fatcat here. it be me sorrowful duty t' tell ye that cap'n nelson john lapurr, captain of the good ship cat o' nine tails, set out his last voyage yesterday. his brave daddy an' the vettie helped him rig the ship, an' he slipped anchor an' sailed away to the rainbow bridge. he left these words for his faithful crew an' all his furriends who sailed on two successful voyages:

me-yarrr, mateys. thank'ee one an' all fur yer constant comradeship an' largesse--ye've made me later years full o'fun an' excitement. finer furriends a kitty never had. i'll be waitin' for ye all beyond that final cloudbank. arrrr, that i will. *headbonk*

our bereft fambly blesses you all, an' covets yer kind thoughts an' purrrayers. we begs t'inform ye that there be no wake nor obsequies. nels celebrated them hisself wif ye on the voyage; he knew then that t'would be his last. it were his wish that ye not know til he were gone.

finis!

we left cap'n nels an' company racin' down the path past the treasure sign . . .

nels: whoa, ye hardheads! have a care where ye're tramplin'!! spread out an' slow down--we know not what form the treasure takes, nor whether it haf guards livin' or dead!

HARK! d'ye hear that? there be voices ahead . . . *a platoon of kitties, bowsprits low, afts high, tails waving slowly, creep through the underbrush*


:whispered: easy now, easy, lads. i sees movement up ahead!

:slinking:

:slinking:

:slinking:

:whispered: there be th' glint o' GOLD--GOLD!! we's found it--an' the few guards i see be live, an' precious small, if truth be told. we can take 'em, lads . . . careful now . . . careful . . .

RUSH 'EMMMMMMM!

:a hissing, yowling, spitting tidal wave of cats erupts from the jungle and engulfs the diminutive guards. claws flash in the subdued sunlight and it looks like dirty work will be done, 'til tiny voices ring out:

cap'n jack! cap'n jack--d'ye not know me, yer own crew???? look ye--'tis me, fagin!!

yes, an' me, skullcrusher left-eye, an' all us younglings!!

HOLD! HOLD, ye blackguards!! HOLD, i say!! what the devil has we here?

oh, cap'n nels--ye would not slay a kitten, would ye? we be yer junior crewmates, out to PLAYPLAYPLAY!!! (yes, PLAYPLAYPLAY!!!) we chased an' ran an' founded this tall feller who nefur moves. he be right pleasant t'climb upon, an' we can swing from his hook an' perch on his hat, an' take all manner o'liberties wif him, an' he nefur swats er pushes us away! can we keep him, cap'n nels?

keep him? i sh'd say not, ye silly kitt. he be a golden statcher, what be worth many a green paper in th' beans' world. we be haulin' him aboard the cat an' sailin' fur the nearest port, where we be sellin' him t' the highest bidder. we'll gain enough coin an' paper t'buy ye more (an' lighter-weight) toys, more toys than all o'ye could play wif in a month o' sundays. an' vittles fer all! an' a fine ship or two . . . an' we be endowin' an' old pirate cat's home fur them what retires from our fine but rigorous profession. there'll be warm, cozy spots for nappin', a keg o' the finest on efurry table, an' hammmm fur efurryone! in truth, i feels me age more an' more, an' think perhaps i may be the first resydent . . .

young fagin, all the cats o' the flotilla be beholden t'ye as the finder o' this fine loot we will divvy up amongst us--an' we must think on a fittin' reward for ye. but tell me, lad: ye were knockin' back the tuna juice, bowl for bowl wif us seasoned topers last night. how is it ye be so alert an' sprightly this day, while tiny imps wif hammers an' saws be dismantlin' me head inside?

oh, t'were easy, cap'n. whenefur ye were, ummmm, occupied playin' the cello so t'speak, i poured my cup inta yours!

arrrrr, ye tricksy devil! ye've the makin's of a fine pirate cap'n!! :cuffs him fondly:

FINIS
______________________________________________

the story of how they came to haul the statue away and sell it to the benefit of pirate catkind must wait for another day. our typist's fingers are protesting, an' her eyes be closin' swift. we hopes to sail wif ye again next year. fair winds an' calm seas t'ye all!
meYARRR!